Thank you Notso ,I understand what you are saying but it is fraught on her side with me and the children (if that makes sense ) there are probably drugs involved which are making her actions erratic at best ,this is why I think we need to go the foster route .
to explain the children were placed with us for almost 3 months and all was great until SS decided we needed to sort things out between us voluntarily,their mum then had them while I returned to work (3 hours an evening then I would collect them) and she would pay towards their keep .
this was when it all went badly wrong ,turning up late ,not paying anything ,not doing what she was supposed to do for them while she had them ,the children upset all the time ,it was awful
then ss tried to go legal and children were returned home ,this was a disaster
ss then went to legal again and removed the children ,3 into care and 1 to me ,I told them I wanted to have them and they said no,it is not best to have them all
So then I researched how to do it and called FRG helpline and sent in a letter to ss,childrens guardian and childrens solicitor ....................only then did they take note and are now doing an assessment as all agreed it should be done ,that's when I found out I could be party to proceedings and have a solicitor