assessment for sgo.

Well done. Yours is a difficult path, but I think you are doing the right things.

well the meeting with the guardian went ok, shes a nice lady.
obviously she asked me about my brother withdrawing, and that sw was really annoyed as i'd pressured them to withdraw and that i wasnt being fair to my grand daughter by excluding someone else in the family.
i told her that wasnt the truth, and that she could speak to my brother, and she is going to.
i cannot believe that the sw would do this?! it is an out right lie and i cant believe she thinks thats acceptable!
and still no copy of my assessment! guardian didnt seem to bothered by this, infact thought it was fairly normal?!
i thought the judges decision was on the 6th of feb but its not its the 4th of march.
i feel really upset now that a sw could attempt to play with peoples lives like this!

i feel so upset by todays events that i just wanna give up. all along ive just done my best for my grand daughter and i feel like im the one on trial! we are in this situation because my daughter cannot make the right choices, not because of me. the guardian asked me if ss recommended adoption would i get a solicitor and fight it so i said yes of course as if shes adopted she needs to know that nanny tried her best for her, but how could i win against ss? she said that they have been known to back down when it goes to court and that she wouldnt advocate adoption if there is not good enough reason for her not to be placed within the wider family.

weve had bloody years of my daughters crap, and still we are having it, trying to do the right thing by her child when shes not! guardian and sw are concerned where that will leave my daughter regards support if i have baby.
do you know what? i told her that i hardly have a relationship with my daughter now because of her choicesbut i dont know what she made of that! everyone just assumes that i will blindly support my daughter, when infact i stopped actually supporting her years ago because of her selfish ways.

This must all be so frustrating for you - I hope for a good outcome for everyone.

beverley, I'm not surprised you are feeling confused by the ever-changing information you are being given by the professionals involved in your case. They don't seem to be working together and they certainly don't seem to be involving you in their thought processes.

Firstly, the guardian and social worker have no business being concerned that if you have the baby, this will leave your daughter without support. They should be very clear that, to put it bluntly, their priority is the baby and not your daughter. If the best place for the baby is in your care, then quite frankly your daughter's welfare is irrelevant to them. If they are truly concerned that your daughter may be vulnerable then they should be making appropriate referrals elsewhere on her behalf.

Secondly, it comes across very clearly from your posts that your priority is the baby and not your daughter. You said earlier that their only concern to arise from the assessment was whether you would feel able to put the baby's needs above those of your daughter (sorry but I can't remember your exact words). I can't understand why they seem to be finding it so difficult to accept this. Have you put anything in writing at all? I just wonder whether you have considered writing to the Director of Children's Services expressing your total commitment to your grandchild. You could also (if you felt it appropriate) say that some concerns have been shared with you but you have not yet had the opportunity to see a copy of your assessment report, so you are not clear about the exact concerns.

I think you are doing everything possible at the moment and I do hope it all works out for you. Keep fighting.

thank you
i wouldnt know where to start with regards to writing a letter, my skills in that department are pants! im awar that sw manager and friend died last week so they are all in turmoil at the moment so who would i address it to?
it would have to be well put and im not sure if i can manage that etc.

Beverley you are doing your best here and I hope social services are listening. There is some good advice on this thread which I won't repeat but I just wanted to add that opposition to adoption has been something my sister faced with her foster daughter, whose grandmother wanted to care for but was never well enough. Between them, they negotiated with the family court judge that the child would stay in my sister's care but have frequent access to her grandmother and the adoption application was dropped. The child is in her 20s now and knows she couldn't be adopted because her gran didn't agree and believed if was in her best interests to have contact with her family (mum had died). Although my sister and husband would have loved to adopt her, they understood (she is treated as a daughter anyway) and she got the best of both worlds. This was about 14 years ago and I know things change but children's best interests still come first so if your opposition to adoption in favour of remaining with you is the best option, the court would want to find a way for that to work. Make sure they all know this and insist on seeing that the assessment has given you your opportunity to say this is where you stand. Good luck.

ive managed a draft letter but before i write it out, who exactly should i send a copy to?
im going to send one to the guardian, the sw and the head of childrens services, but is there anyone im missing out?
im sending them all a copy as then it cant get 'lost' by one of them and i would like it to be seen by the judge too?
does anyone know how i could send a copy to the judge? ive never been allowed in court as daughters boyfriend kept opposing it so i havent even got the name of the judge?

I'm so pleased you have managed to do this. I can't think of anyone else you could send it to. I would ask the guardian to bring it to the attention of the judge, and perhaps your daughter's solicitor (as I seem to remember he or she has been helpful in offering advice). You will need to be careful of this though as there can't be seen to be a conflict of interests between your daughter's and the baby's interests. Make it clear in your letter that you wish it to be brought to the judge's attention.

I do find it astounding that they are assessing you for a possible SGO but giving you no voice in the proceedings. Extremely poor practice in my view.

Hi Beverley, what a worrying time for you. I have nothing to add to what others have said, it's good that you have written a letter. I agree with night owl that it is astounding that the assessment for possible SGO is giving you no voice in the proceedings. It is indeed extremely poor practice. Nightowl's advice to ask the CG to pass a copy of your letter to the Judge is a good idea. She's also right to stress the need for the Court, the sw, the CG and other parties to know there will be no conflict of interests between your daughter's needs and the baby's interests.

hi there would just like to give you all an update......my beautiful grand daughter came to live with me today, weve had a good day, and after screaming the house down she is finally asleep
i would like to thank you all for your fantastic advice & comments!

That's wonderful news beverley6 I am so pleased for you and your granddaughter. I am sure things will settle very soon. She is lucky to have such a caring grandma who has fought so hard for her. Thank you for sharing your news with us.

Smashing news, Beverley.

Wonderful news, so pleased for you.

Delighted it's all turned out ok!

Congratulations, Beverley. I hope that now you can get a good night's sleep too.

What wonderful news beverley thanks for the update.

I've just read this thread, for the first time, and I'm delighted at the outcome.

Well done, Beverley. All best wishes for you and your granddaughter. Well done for persevering!

Wonderful news beverley

Well, that is lovely news. I am sure that you will devote yourself to this wee lass.

Beverley, congratulations, and thanks for updating us. I have wondered how things worked out, and this news has made me smile. Fantastic news for all of you

Congratulations Beverley, so pleased for you

she is sooo lovely the only trouble we Are having is that the foster carer picked her up every time she cried, so breaking that habit will be a noisy one lol!

Such wonderful news Beverley & brilliant that all your efforts bore fruit. I do hope all goes well for you in the days ahead which are bound to need all the strength you have shown on here.

my grandchildren are in care all seperated. I had a viability assessment by the Local Social Workers who have said that I am to close to my daughter and grandchildren. and they have stated I have Chronic? medical conditions that will get worse if I care for the children or just the baby. I dont know if I can get an independant social worker assessment or if I can ask the court if I can get an order so the children can live with me if their mum cant look after them? I am really worried my 2 year old grandaughter has been put with a family that want to adopt. We have had no copy of the care plans so I am suspicous about their future and think they are all going to be adopted and we will be broken hearted. any help or advice would be great.