Really Messy Muddle - help needed please

It was 20 years ago, but a friend had the bailiffs call because their son, who was at university, had debts which they knew nothing about. Do you put your son living at your address when you fill in the Electoral Roll Form every year as that may make a difference.

You are not liable for his finances. Do not accept recorded delivery (which would be addressed to him anyway). When he next visits you should find out what is happening and then if you wish tell him to have his mail directed elsewhere. After that you could use RTS but it will depend upon what discussion you have with him.

Receiving mail like that is similar to a post box.

Always check your position with the credit reference agencies regardless of your son. Everyone can now do that free.

I agree with the others try the citizens advice or one of the links that have been posted for you. I hope you get it sorted out soon.

I will do this tomorrow, damage limitation! Thankyou to Grannyknot.
I have also booked a callback from the Scottish debt advice people who deal with Trust Deeds; I want to ask them if he could be doing this using our address without our knowledge.
He phoned today asking if a letter had come and when I started asking if he was in trouble with debt etc he quickly started coughing and pretended he had lost his voice!! So that sort of proves it doesn't it

No crisssyh I stopped putting him on the voters roll a few years ago. Thankfully!

grandtanteJE65 slightly off main topic but my father recently (4 months ago) passed away - when we registered his death the registrar asked if we wanted to register the address with Royal Mail to stop junk mail etc - must say it worked very little mail goes to the house now. They can do so much in one go cancelling everything - takes a lot of hassle out of what is a bad time anyway

Some years ago, when working as a Home visitor for a charity I helped an elderly man with the same problem.

I prepared a simple letter stating that, while this gentleman's son had lived at this address in the past he had not lived there for sometime but was still using it as an accommodation address. His last known address was (give the address he is living at). Please send all further correspondence and bills to that address. Open all the mail for your son that comes to your house and send it back to the sender with a signed copy of this letter.

My client did this and quickly ceased to receive this mail. With one exception, Lloyds bank. In the end we wrote to the chairman to complain and that finally stopped them.

Do not accept or sign for any mail or documents for him sent to your address. No matter how pressing or pushy the deliverer may try to be. Just say no and shut the door.

You could put a note on your credit files to say 'Our son John Smith lived with us until (give date) but has not lived with us since that date, although he continues to give our address when seeking credit. He can no longer be contacted through this address.

The only circumstance that you could be considered as liable for his debts is if you had signed a guarantee form for any loan he obtained or credit he was seeking. From your post I think it is very unlikely you have done that.

Fumanchu, I think you've been given some very good advice here. Just want to say that at 45 ds knows how he wants to live. NOT your and dh's responsibility to caution or advise him. It's normal to still want to guide your son, but please try to let go of that feeling. He's not going to listen, anyway. Please just protect yourselves. Let him live his life his (foolish) way and deal with the consequences.

When I moved here I returned to sender until a county court summons arrived. I opened that on the grounds that it was very important that they knew that they'd got the wrong address. I phoned the number on the letter and explained the situation. That was the last I heard. Creditors don't want to waste their money chasing up debts at the wrong address.

Thank you all for great help, we're putting a stop to it now.

Good for you!