P of A

Yes Nez you are right, my daughter is deemed to have capacit6 but only just. She can manage the health and welfare side of life with all the support she gets but is unable to manage anything other than day to day shopping and paying monthly bills with the help of the wonderful bank staff. She refuses to pay the Council for her care as the DWP have told her that the money she gets is hers. Nothing we or anyone say will make her change her mind. I am able to keep up her monthly payments but she owes the Council £4000. They have tried to get it from me as I have POA for her finances but as I point out she has capacity and I can’t therefore do anything with her money without her say so. This has run for just over 5 years and I am now being very laid back about the whole situation.

As Daughter has Power of Attorney and not the more recent arrangement Lasting Power of Attorney (welfare) They only deal with financial decisions on behalf of the person. Therefore she is quite right not to interfere.

Her father, as he wishes to stay at home, should be offered a care package in his home. And if necessary, given she has financial control daughter could realise some of the value of his house to help pay for the package that would keep him in his home as he desires.

Excellent advice Emily.

When a person is deemed no longer to have ‘capacity’ and this is placing themselves and/or others at risk, the usual route to protecting them is for them to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act. The GP can refer to the Psychiatrist at the local Older Adults service, who can impliment this after an assessment together with a Social Worker. The order will be for the shortest time required. Most elderly people in this situation agree to a care home once they have left their home and the initial distress is over.

Try www.carersuk.org they have an excellent advice helpline who will be able to help

Solitaire, what do you mean, 'you' had to contribute out of 'her' disability pension? Her disability pension was hers, by definition, part of her own income. So she had to contribute herself.

God what a nightmare Barmey. Mind you the way they’re whacking up care contributions she’s right to make a stand!!

Daughter has PoA - both welfare and financial.
Father has been offered a care package of 4 daily visits or if he pays the additional costs could have 24 hour live-in care.
He has refused all help/offers/suggestions as he is convinced that everyone is conspiring against him. Dementia has been confirmed.
Given that all options have been refused and daughter won't take responsibility for a final decision, I believe that Stella 's comments are most relevant and that sectioning is the only solution.
I don't feel I can offer daughter any useful advice and will see what happens next with SS.

I was going to say what Still said.

When mum's behaviour became out of control and disruptive the consultant psychiatrist was called and would have 'sectioned' her for her own safety. She eventually agreed to go to hospital where they changed her medication and she was able to move to a specialist dementia care home.

Mcem what a difficult situation.
I have no experience and can't offer any advice but i hope it is resolved for all involved very soon ? Barmeyoldbat I'm surprised the council haven't made an arrestment on your daughter's benefits to recover the money owing. Its definitely something they can do.

Daughter needs a good slap! How dare she opt out and leave you with all this stress. I bet she'll be there to see how much money he leaves... or maybe she doesn't want to make decisions about care as it will affect how much he has in the bank. Sorry to be so cynical but it happens all too often