making a will - OH not aware of content

Sea cliff, why are you still with this man? Why not go your own ways? If you don't trust him and intend to keep such a big secret from him then you should be taking a long hard look at yourself as well as your marriage. You admit you would be shocked if he did this to you. If my husband did it to me I think that 'shocked' is a very mild word for what I would feel.

Seacliff, I also think you have done the right thing regarding your wishes, and by making a will that stipulates these. But, you say you have done this in secret, could he have done the same? Make a secret will I mean.

seacliff - your life, your money, your wishes - you've done the right thing

I’m with Niobe on this one, a friend of mine died recently and she did this to her husband, He was and is still, devastated, not because of the way she left money and half the house to her sons, but that he now realises that she didn’t love or trust him, the sons and their families are also very uncomfortable with the situation.
I can understand that you want to protect your childrens interests, but I think that you owe it to your husband to be honest.
Imagine how you would feel if he did it to you?

PS, I’m surprised that your Solicitor ‘strongly suggested’ anything to you, they are usually there to do as you ask, so I think that it must be that you prompted his suggestion.

I think you have been lovely and very fair indeed. xxx

Judging by what you have described of your relationship then you have done the right thing seacliff. You must still be together for a reason though.
I heard of someone who did this without telling her husband; when she died he shocked people by saying he thought that 'all the ladies will be after me now' so it was rather a shock to him to find he didn't own the whole house and his children had inherited her half plus any assets she had in her own name.
Do make sure of the terms of your ownership, though, but I'm sure your solicitor will advise.

Well done for being so brave. Not an easy choice to make but it seems you've followed your head and your heart.

Seacliff and all responders, thank you so much for this post. I know what I need to do now. My OH will not be much shocked as he changed his will when he walked out 8 years ago and he knows what I feel about helping the next generation, and now the one after the next. His famous line was, “We had to struggle, why shouldn’t they!” so you can see why I worry.

Hang on... most couples who share a house don't have the type of houseshare where you can leave half to someone else. It's usually a "joint tenancy" (the word tenancy here does not mean renting btw it's just a legal term). In this type, if one of you dies the remaining owner is automatically the owner of the whole lot. It's only after converting to "tenancy in common" which usually only happens AFTER a divorce, and even then only if you have made it happen via a conveyancing solicitor, that you own half each and have half to dispose of as you wish. So I hope your solicitor has gone over this with you to establish which type of ownership you have.

I think what you have done is excellent now just make sure you tell your family where your will is and then forget about it.

That's right ReadyMeals

However, anyone can own their home with a spouse as tenants in common if they wish and both agree
www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership

I think you have been very brave and done exactly what is right for your children.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing.

About downsizing: ask the solicitor if your half of the balance can be paid to your children if your husband sells after the death, and if he must let your children have it, if he remarries. To me if he just wants a smaller house that would be best. Perhaps different if he has to go into care.

You have done the right thing for your children. Being clear in your will saves problems further down the line.

This is not a happy situation for you, clearly, but what real choice do you have if you fear your OH will blow the money? It sounds as if you have come up with the perfect solution with what you are having to deal with, and this is what I would do in your shoes. I do agree that it would be wise to tell the solicitor that your children know nothing of what you have decided upon, and write a letter for them explaining why you have done what you have to be given to them after you have gone. If you choose to write a letter to your OH to soften the perceived blow you could also leave that with the solicitor. Tell the children where your will is and then enjoy the rest of your life - you have done the very best that you can.

Yes Jalimal108, I just wanted the OP to make sure this has actually been done before assuming her will can be executed as she wishes.

I totally agree with you. My husband is dragging his heals about making a will and the problem is its a 2nd marriage for both of us and we both have children, I have 2 and he has one. I have put money left by my parents into the house and am worried that if I go first and then he goes that his daughter will get the lot and my 2 will get nothing, and yet its mostly their grandparents that have paid for this house.

seacliff
Are you and H joint tenants? or tenants in common of your property.? Joint is as one ,common as if the house was split in two.Solicitors can deal with this and makes life far easier especially in your case.

I totally agree with what you’ve done and since the solicitor sees no problem, you should not have to worry.
Assumimg you live in the UK your husband should get some sort of basic pension/benfit when he get to whatever the age is (70?).

Nanny123 why don't you make your own will, that should stop you worrying?

You have done the right thing.. let your conscience be clear.

If you are that unhappy, why not split now and then your half is truly that to give with no strings attached or thoughts for his future and you can make a new life for yourself.

I have done the same thing. I am also planning to move my savings Into three joint accounts with each of my children. I am putting a small amount to begin with, but as each of my bonds mature, I am going to split that between them. I Trust my children completely.

My mum was widowed very young and married a man who had never owned a house. If my mum had not made a Will in the way she did, his relatives would have inherited the house on his death.

Don’t forget that you can also leave your estate to Bloodline Relatives only, just in case there are remarriages with children from previous relationships.