making a will - OH not aware of content

Definitely write a letter & place a copy with your will, it is usual for Solicitor to keep one copy of the Will & you have a copy. Copy of letter with each copy of the Will. Write your letter now & don't forget to date it. Could your copy of the Will be lodged with the Bank/Building Society where you hold your own individual Account(s)?

You are being very sensible, oh & don't forget to date the letter (if you haven't already written it do it now, it's important). Your H will not be able to contest the Will if your Solicitor has done his job.

DH had to place a letter with his Will as everything came to me/my DD leaving nothing to his DD & S as their DM is in a better position to support them financially

My father wrote in his will that my sister and I would get the proceeds of the house once my step mother no longer needed it. Once my father died which was 4 years ago. She has totally cut us off, so we don’t know whether she has sold the house or died. So make sure the Will is watertight. She obviously doesn’t want us to get anything. We have done nothing to upset her.

nanny123. Have you made a will ? Do you and DH own the property you live in and if so are you joint tenants or tennants in common.? See a solicitor taking documents ie Land Registry, relating to the property, invoices from improvements that have been made and funded by your childrens inheritance Be advised by the solicitor. You are clearly concerned and I would question your husbands reluctance to make a will. Many don't appreciate its importance and the problems it can cause.

She couldn't alter the terms of your father's will unless he left it to her and trusted her to then carry out his wishes.
Do you know who his solicitor was?

That was to Lyndie btw

You can always leave a letter for him, to be kept with your will explaining why you made your decisions and how much thought you put into it all.

It’s very sad that you have to adopt these measures, but it’s the only option open to you to protect your kids and not have your hard earned cash wasted away. I did exactly the same with my ex, as he was awful with money, totally irresponsible and reckless. I did a will leaving my half of everything to be split between my 3 kids, even my pension etc and I squirrelled away as much as I could without his knowledge. We are long divorced now but I am so glad that I had the foresight to take these measures. I did try talking to him beforehand but I was wasting my breath, as well as my money ! Stick to your guns ......

Thanks all, I'm at work so not able to post much. I have raised a query with my solicitor about tenants in common situation. Will let you know the outcome.

Anyone wanting to make a will at present, you can find solicitors registered with cancer research, who offer a free will. Idea is you give cancer research a donation, your choice how much. It's a good idea to do it.

I'm hoping your home is already owned on a tenants in common basis seacliffe. Our homes were always owned as joint tenants until about 15 years ago when we changed to tenants in common. From memory it was a straighforward enough process but necessary for us both to agree to the application which of course could be difficult in your situation. I understand it is possible without the other person's agreement but they do need to know what is happening which again could be difficult for you and I would suggest would need careful thought. Whatever happens about the house I do think you have made a wise decision concerning your other assets to ensure your wishes regarding your family can be carried out. I would also support the comments other posters have made, do leave what I believe is known as a letter of wishes with your will explaining how difficult your decision was and why you made it. I hope all works out for you and you can have peace of mind.

I made a will years ago after my Husband died, my present other half has difficulties with is family, I made my will with the sole oblect of seeing my Adult children being ok when I pop off.OH has this house we live in plus other assets, but my children will notr be entitled to anything from that.
Swedish law! I have left more to my Son, who is estranged he has two teenage boys, my Daughter had more money than they know what to do with, but I have done right as my Daughter will have my Mums engagement ring which was valued last year, so this will make up for the money my Son will get, my Daughter has two Daughters and my jewellry will go to them, so after the initial guilty conscience I feel better knowing that they will get more or less the same amount.I dont want arguments when the day comes, not that I will be around, but I want my children to be friends.

I think that you have done the right thing Seacliff. I made a similar will but my husband died before me.

Seacliff, I think you have done the right thing.

Maybe you should leave a letter to DH with the solicitor. You could explain why you've done what you've done. It might help him understand.

Thank you. Jalima

Seacliff, you did the right thing. This sort of arrangement is becoming very common with second marriages and divorce becoming more common, not to mention careless or unscrupulous remaining partners misusing funds.

Many lawyers are now asked to give the remaining spouse a life interest in everything unless they remarry, in which case the inheritance goes to the children.

The problem is that a couple can build up assets and capital between them intending to leave the lot to their offspring. One partner dies. If the other remarries and then dies the property belongs to the new wife and her heirs not the children for whom it was intended.

I want my husband to inherit what is his when I die but I do not want anything left to go to anyone but our own children. I worked for them.

Lyndie
You can find out whether the house has been sold and how much the sale realised. You presumably know the address.
You can also find out whether his wife has died by ringing the register office in that district and giving her name and address (if still the same as when your father was alive)
His will would have to be read by (I assume) an executor and any beneficiaries notified.
If you want to find out these details, you can, fairly easily.

A widower (or widow) could have a new partner living with them without being married, thus, the house could not be sold until he/she died and children of the original marriage could not benefit until that time.

Try Zoopla in the first instance, Lyndie

www.zoopla.co.uk/house-prices/

Don't feel bad. I am about to do same as my oh is squirreling away money having opened accounts in his and kids names without telling me. I have no pension as gave up my main job to care for children and have had several jobs with minimum pay since. The house is in joint names and I have family jewellery that I want to make sure my children get and that he dosn't squander. I don't know if he has made another will (wouldn't surprise me) & I'm sure if he has he hasn't included me and he's loaded (tight and selfish spring to mind). I work because he won't share his pension and I have debt to pay accrued over years of being kept short and trying to manage. Am slowly getting info together of hidden savings etc because I want out but not sure how I will manage so making sure kids ok just in case. I never thought my twilight years would be like this after working hard all my life.

Good information. We had to get a lawyer to insist she was not the only executor and she chose her niece. I will dig deeper. Thank you.

I have been thinking of doing exactly the same Seacliff - well done you! do you mind me asking, how many visits did you have to make to solicitors and how long did it all take? Did you do yours through the free wills scheme or did you pay yourself? How much does it cost? (Sorry if that is too nosy.)

Hi again

Well I am glad I checked with all of you. Had email from solicitor saying yes property does have to be amended. " Must be registered as Tenants in common and the Land Registry would unfortunately require authorisation from yourself and your Husband. "

Contrary to what one poster suggested, I went there with no idea about willing the actual property. He suggested it after I told him my circumstances. I asked if OH would need to know, he assured me he would not.

I am really quite annoyed and concerned that if I hadn't asked, he would have let me sign a will which is not going to stand up legally!!! He didn't ask me at all how it was registered.

Now I have to either just leave the original lump sum, and forget about the house. Or talk to OH about tenants in common, which seems quite a good idea anyway, but not sure he would agree.

I am inclined to forget that solicitor. I don't trust him now! I am shocked.

Thanks for all the help and supportive messages too. Really appreciate them. x

On the subject of the widowed staying in the house unless they remarry my solicitor said that they could quite easily just live with someone or even say the person was a housekeeper. So it isn't foolproof. But you are wise to make a will for your own assets plus make sure the house is changed to tenants in common.

Well, he is certainly not worth the money seacliffe - any solicitor worth his salt would know that!