making a will - OH not aware of content

You can always leave a letter for him, to be kept with your will explaining why you made your decisions and how much thought you put into it all.

That was to Lyndie btw

She couldn't alter the terms of your father's will unless he left it to her and trusted her to then carry out his wishes.
Do you know who his solicitor was?

nanny123. Have you made a will ? Do you and DH own the property you live in and if so are you joint tenants or tennants in common.? See a solicitor taking documents ie Land Registry, relating to the property, invoices from improvements that have been made and funded by your childrens inheritance Be advised by the solicitor. You are clearly concerned and I would question your husbands reluctance to make a will. Many don't appreciate its importance and the problems it can cause.

My father wrote in his will that my sister and I would get the proceeds of the house once my step mother no longer needed it. Once my father died which was 4 years ago. She has totally cut us off, so we don’t know whether she has sold the house or died. So make sure the Will is watertight. She obviously doesn’t want us to get anything. We have done nothing to upset her.

Definitely write a letter & place a copy with your will, it is usual for Solicitor to keep one copy of the Will & you have a copy. Copy of letter with each copy of the Will. Write your letter now & don't forget to date it. Could your copy of the Will be lodged with the Bank/Building Society where you hold your own individual Account(s)?

You are being very sensible, oh & don't forget to date the letter (if you haven't already written it do it now, it's important). Your H will not be able to contest the Will if your Solicitor has done his job.

DH had to place a letter with his Will as everything came to me/my DD leaving nothing to his DD & S as their DM is in a better position to support them financially

Don’t forget that you can also leave your estate to Bloodline Relatives only, just in case there are remarriages with children from previous relationships.

I have done the same thing. I am also planning to move my savings Into three joint accounts with each of my children. I am putting a small amount to begin with, but as each of my bonds mature, I am going to split that between them. I Trust my children completely.

My mum was widowed very young and married a man who had never owned a house. If my mum had not made a Will in the way she did, his relatives would have inherited the house on his death.

If you are that unhappy, why not split now and then your half is truly that to give with no strings attached or thoughts for his future and you can make a new life for yourself.

You have done the right thing.. let your conscience be clear.

Nanny123 why don't you make your own will, that should stop you worrying?

I totally agree with what you’ve done and since the solicitor sees no problem, you should not have to worry.
Assumimg you live in the UK your husband should get some sort of basic pension/benfit when he get to whatever the age is (70?).

seacliff
Are you and H joint tenants? or tenants in common of your property.? Joint is as one ,common as if the house was split in two.Solicitors can deal with this and makes life far easier especially in your case.

I totally agree with you. My husband is dragging his heals about making a will and the problem is its a 2nd marriage for both of us and we both have children, I have 2 and he has one. I have put money left by my parents into the house and am worried that if I go first and then he goes that his daughter will get the lot and my 2 will get nothing, and yet its mostly their grandparents that have paid for this house.

Yes Jalimal108, I just wanted the OP to make sure this has actually been done before assuming her will can be executed as she wishes.

This is not a happy situation for you, clearly, but what real choice do you have if you fear your OH will blow the money? It sounds as if you have come up with the perfect solution with what you are having to deal with, and this is what I would do in your shoes. I do agree that it would be wise to tell the solicitor that your children know nothing of what you have decided upon, and write a letter for them explaining why you have done what you have to be given to them after you have gone. If you choose to write a letter to your OH to soften the perceived blow you could also leave that with the solicitor. Tell the children where your will is and then enjoy the rest of your life - you have done the very best that you can.

You have done the right thing for your children. Being clear in your will saves problems further down the line.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing.

About downsizing: ask the solicitor if your half of the balance can be paid to your children if your husband sells after the death, and if he must let your children have it, if he remarries. To me if he just wants a smaller house that would be best. Perhaps different if he has to go into care.

I think you have been very brave and done exactly what is right for your children.

That's right ReadyMeals

However, anyone can own their home with a spouse as tenants in common if they wish and both agree
www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership

I think what you have done is excellent now just make sure you tell your family where your will is and then forget about it.

Hang on... most couples who share a house don't have the type of houseshare where you can leave half to someone else. It's usually a "joint tenancy" (the word tenancy here does not mean renting btw it's just a legal term). In this type, if one of you dies the remaining owner is automatically the owner of the whole lot. It's only after converting to "tenancy in common" which usually only happens AFTER a divorce, and even then only if you have made it happen via a conveyancing solicitor, that you own half each and have half to dispose of as you wish. So I hope your solicitor has gone over this with you to establish which type of ownership you have.

Seacliff and all responders, thank you so much for this post. I know what I need to do now. My OH will not be much shocked as he changed his will when he walked out 8 years ago and he knows what I feel about helping the next generation, and now the one after the next. His famous line was, “We had to struggle, why shouldn’t they!” so you can see why I worry.

Well done for being so brave. Not an easy choice to make but it seems you've followed your head and your heart.

Judging by what you have described of your relationship then you have done the right thing seacliff. You must still be together for a reason though.
I heard of someone who did this without telling her husband; when she died he shocked people by saying he thought that 'all the ladies will be after me now' so it was rather a shock to him to find he didn't own the whole house and his children had inherited her half plus any assets she had in her own name.
Do make sure of the terms of your ownership, though, but I'm sure your solicitor will advise.