Distressing Development

I think it's for the better. Not a big thing to go through but she'll pull through. So wonderful to see that you are asking advice on how to support her during this time.

Typo-not a nice thing to go through

wow quizqueen I dont for a second think she'll have chosen an "unsuitable man" life happens dont you know.Its not always about bad choices ,they were right when she made them but people ...in particular men, often decide to go awol .My own daughters oh did this a number of years ago and he hasn't paid for the 2 children he left behind CSA are less than useless.The ex has another family and has even brainwashed his oldest child into thinking he needs to concentrate on his NEW family as the ones he left have a good stepfather who has provided for them for nearly 9 years .My daughter soon sorted that out,GS now understands that his "father" shouldn't have left kids behind and then had more all the while claiming poverty .

Hi ,you need some professional advice,pronto! Book a appointment with citizens advice ,get all your daughter's bills,rent ongoing and outgoings written down,so you can show this! She will get help!
Until you get this appointment ,if there are any pressing bills,ring them on her behalf with her their to give consent,tell them what has happened,and that she is really struggling and you need to help her.
Write down who you phoned,and when and what they said,it helps to recall when your stressed and upset.
Your daughter will need a lot of help to get her back on her feet,can she live with you for a while,so she has support.

With your help younwill be able to get assistance,I did for my daughter,and things will get better.

She is far better without this useless childish non man,he will will get it back ,karma does that,when he is a sad,lonely man ,who women won't touch with a bargepole,he will realise what he has done ,and too late!

Keep pushing for help ,it takes some shoving to get the help,work together,as she will feel very low,and your granddaughter will be unsettled,.
Little kids recover well ,when her mum is happy ,she will be too! Good luck to you!

Thank you all for your sound advice. She kicked him out last night. They have made childcare arrangements and she has contacted the Benefits Agency. Her work hours will increase from September, when the little one will be in full time playschool. She is fitting the hours around that as much as she can. She has a good job, with prospects - she doesn't want to have to give it up! We will also contact Citizens Advice and take up some of the other suggestions. I believe he will pay her maintenance (although he will moan). He does love his daughter so hopefully he will stick to their agreement. He thinks he will have a life of less responsibility - he is sadly mistaken. And Quizqueen - you can't always tell a man is going to be unsuitable. On the surface he wasn't! They were good friends, he works hard and they were together three years with a shared home when the little one came along! And unfortunately, with low wages so prevelant, even truely lovely and deserving families sometimes have to rely on the taxpayer - of which they are also!

All that advice already offered is great.
He's a quitter so make sure he doesn't vanish by getting her to hang onto his N.I number as with this he can be traced to any place where he is paying NI contributions or claiming benefits.

Citizens Advice is the place to visit for expert advice.

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Handy tool. The links also point you to how and where to file a claim.

Good luck.

My DD2 going through the same with her ex partner, he's out the house and left her with lots of debt including fraudulently setting up account in her name and bank details with Virgin Media to which she had no access. Fortunately Virgin have been very helpful and sorted it for her. She went to Woman's aid for help and advice before kicking him out (drugs, aggression, refusal to work) and they suggested Christians Against Poverty to help with the debt problem and they have been great. They help organise a plan for repayment and look after the plan for you including any demanding letters. It is a charity and you don't have to be a Christian to ask for their help. She now sees a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

CAB - yes definitely. Hanging on to his NI number - crucial. And - your local social services department may employ their own welfare benefits adviser, as well as their children/families departmental staff , who can be very supportive.

Good luck