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Social Care and daughter

(81 Posts)
icanhandthemback Wed 29-May-19 19:24:29

My disabled daughter who is heavily pregnant, had a young carers assessment done for her daughter who has been quite involved with her mother's care especially as SIL has returned to work after 6 years looking after my daughter. He returned to work for 33 hours per week because he felt his mental health was suffering because of caring for my daughter. Young Carers have flagged concerns because there are times when my Grandaughter has to pour a dose of morphine for my daughter if she has a pain attack when her Dad is out. However, although it is a very small dose in the scheme of things, it does make my daughter very drowsy. Her daughter is able to look after herself, make a sandwich and drink, put herself to bed etc. Her Dad is always available at the end of the phone for any problems.
I have suggested that we get around the problem of the morphine with her daughter having to measuring it out by pre-loading a syringe and locking it into a key safe which my grandaughter can hand to my daughter. That way, there is no possibility of my grandaughter accidentally fatally overdosing her mother which would scar her for life. The problem is, a baby cannot be self sufficient and my daughter is really worried about how Young Carers will view her ability to cope. Because the pain when it comes is excruciating, she can't manage without the morphine but neither can she predict when it will happen which means that she can't have a carer be there for those times. Social Services obviously can't pay for somebody to be there just in case. She is hoping she won't need the morphine again quite so much as she needs it now but we just don't know what is likely to happen. This is a very new aspect to her disability which we weren't expecting.
Before she got pregnant, her husband wasn't working and they have both realised just how much better things are now he's got into the swing of things. He feels very selfish saying so but he thinks he can't cope being at home 24/7 again. He doesn't think his employer will be very happy if he suddenly has to down tools to go home. I am unable to step in because I have commitments to other family member.
Does anybody know of anything she can do as I am sure she has a right to be a mother and is petrified of her baby being removed from her care because of the medically prescribed morphine?

GillT57 Mon 24-Jun-19 21:40:32

Oh icanhandthemback I can read your relief! Thank

GillT57 Mon 24-Jun-19 21:43:11

Sorry phone trouble! Thankfully someone official has finally worked it out and done some joined up thinking. Hopefully the few understandable behavioural issues with your granddaughter will be dealt with before they escalate. All you need now is for this baby to get here!

pinkquartz Mon 24-Jun-19 22:14:01

to icanhandthemback. I just want to wish you all the best
I have some understanding of this kind of situation and I know only too well how hard it is, not only to be chronically ill and in pain but I know the effects it has on near family which are often ignored or overlooked by other family amd friends. None of us are in a vacuum!
I was denied help for a long time and so my daughter had to help me a lot. This is all in the past now but I was shocked at how little Social Services will help. And family too far to help.

I am pleased that your DD will now get help to claim PIP.
I think it is essential that her partner can work. His mental health is also important.

I hope that your DGD also gets the support and help she needs. I think a day with you and your other GC is a great idea.

I hope that the baby comes v soon and all goes well. I will be thinking of you and your family and wishing them the best possible outcomes.

paddyann Mon 24-Jun-19 23:28:27

I'm delighted your family is getting the help it needs.I hope that your daughters labour is short and that she has a safe delivery and that she can get some quality of life back.I 'm sure that when that happens you might be able to sleep at night and will feel the benefit of it too.I knwo that we sleep with one ear open waiting for a call,often there are hospital visits at 11pm or midnight or even later and you cant relax not knowing what the night will bring.Lets hope life hets easier for you all and that the new baby brings joy with it ,my mother always said a new baby brings luck with it .

Iam64 Thu 27-Jun-19 08:23:32

Icanhand, thanks so much for this update. It’s good to see adult social care advocating for and supporting your daughter. Children’s services should respond more effectively with encouragement from adult services
Meetings are good because schools and other agencies have to be honest, often they’ll minimise concerns when talking to family. For the best of intentions probably but not helpful. Best of luck to all of you, hope all goes well with the baby