no income

I've sent a PM to your inbox LilyLavendar.

Your husband should be sharing whatever money comes in with you.

It's not just his to spend; its towards household expenses.

If you choose not to work, then obviously there will be less to go round.

I think that to get any money before your retirement age, which quite unfairly has gone up, you would need to sign on. This would be very demanding and any money paid you as explained by Monica might result in your husband loosing some of his current allowances. If you went to the Citizens advice they would probably help you work our what is best for you to do.
Certainly when you do get your pension have it paid into your own account.

In the past women who had to work from home ran tupperware parties, or did Avon calling etc. Others make items which they sell on e bay. Some people go to car boot sales and then sell the stuff they buy for more on Ebay. You may wish to work out how to get some income to tide you over.

All the very best. When I had no job, as a housewife, I was a figure analyst for someones PHD just before computers came in.

I think you’ll find that your national insurance stamps are paid for the years that you had children & until they left full time education.I always worked part time while our children were growing up so paid National insurance .Maybe you’re best to speak to Citizens Advice.

benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/AboutYou

This may help, also.

I sympathise, and yet. Why not get a part-time job as you are young enough. Would be nice to enjoy meeting people too- and at last, have your own money.

Oh why are some women in this situation? Even some younger ones that I know. I brought up three children and had a full time job, now I am retired on a good state and occupational pension, especially as I worked until I was 72, I am now 75. It is such a luxury to stay at home and not work. Certainly not a right.

agreed

My first born is 34, my last born is 18 and so I could have easily stayed home for 34 of those years. Some of them I worked full time, some part time and others not at all. However, bringing up children should always be the first priority in my book and making them latchkey kids when they are heading for teenagerdom is the worst time in my opinion. I think teenagers need more support in some ways than younger children as they are often being lured off a safe path which can be difficult once they’ve strayed.
I think the main thrust of the OP’s complaint is that the pension age has changed. I feel exactly the same. No private pension scheme would ever get away with it.

With us, the boot is on the other foot. I have my pension, but DH doesn't qualify for his because they moved retirement age.

I agree it is unfair, after all we contributed to our pensions during our working life on the understanding that retirement age was what it was when we started to work.

Not living in the UK, I don't know what you are or will be entitled to, but surely it would be worth going to Citizen' Advice and checking whether you are entitled to anything at all, what you will be entitled to at retirement age and when that is and whether your husband is receiving everything he is entitled to.

If the sons who are living at home are in work, surely they should be paying rent, rather than just board? They are after all using heating and electricity, watching your TV and doing their washing.

Admittedly, we shouldn't need help from our children, but paying a fair share of the household expenses isn't charity.

surely money from the sons will affect the benefits they get ?

But occupational pension schemes have been changing (worsening) for years their benefits , age of retirement and contributions for years now - some of the private ones even went bust or were embezzled and so affected the rights of many. It’s really not acceptable to think that the state pension could have stayed as it was. Earlier in my working life many other ni based benefits were much more generous - they’ve lessened a great deal. If people want to have several children over an extended period of years, then fine, that’s their choice but don't come crying when that has meant less pension and less savings in retirement.

If you go on the uGov website it explains all about lodgers and tax. If you haven’t got an income it looks as though this would be tax free if they paid you. You would need to check of course.
I’m not suggesting that Lily charges her sons this amount but it gives an indication of the rent some lodgers pay.
You say that your husband can’t afford to give you any of ‘his’ money so I am presuming that he doesn’t have any spare cash either?
If that’s the case then it is fair, if not then it’s not and you have a problem that goes deeper than lack of money.
I did home sewing when my children were small, making bags for Avon. That was such a faff that my friend and I went to work in the anadin factory doing the evening shift. We left the children with husbands from 5.30 in the evening. It was quite good fun and a bit of a rest!

If you stayed at home and brought up children all these years (after 1976) you should qualify for HRP (Home Responsibility Protection). This HRP gives you a credit every week towards your pension and you need to look into it. I stayed at home after my daughter was born int she was thirteen when I went to work for 18 hours a week which was when I contributed off my own bat. That, HRP and anything I paid before (1976) was added up and I was awarded a full state pension. Good luck!

jaylucy you are quite wrong when you say everyone over 60 gets free dental care OH NO you only get free dental care if you are on benefits
So you are not correct at all it’s £22 for a two minute check up I ve just had one and I m on a ‘not full’ pension but not on any benefits at all

Yes. Worked (still working a 60+ hour week) AND brought up daughter. So while I feel for you, I feel my not getting a pension until I'm 67 is more unfair.

At least today working parents get tax free childcare which is a sort of tax relief on child care costs. When I was paying child care costs, it all came out of my taxed income. I paid NI, income tax, pension contributions and some of what I paid subsidised the women who stayed at home by contributing to their NI credits. That was unfair in my book and I’m glad now there is the scheme to help towards the child care costs. There was no logic in the situation before - why should working mothers like me have subsidised stay at home mothers?

I'm not sure, paddyann, because the money from the sons would be for their keep and towards household expenses. If they are paying the correct amount there shouldn't be any 'profit' although that would be for Lilyl to sort out.

It does sound rather a sad tale although I do know some women who never went back to work after having children for various reasons. Perhaps if someone hasn't contributed at all to a scheme they shouldn't really expect to profit from it. That being said, I am very grateful for the few years of Home Responsibilities Protection I did receive.

Some women, of course, were persuaded out of paying a full stamp years ago and told they would get a pension on their husband's contributions. Unless they had a chance to opt back in they will not get a pension in their own right.

I think Lilyl needs some further advice.

Lilylavender. Im not sure if you are a local authority tenant, or rent private. In which case you can put a claim in for housing benefit and local Council Tax support. They will access your claim on all income that comes into the household including what your sons pay. It may be that all combined earnings, pensions etc are too high for any benefits in this regard but it could be worth a try. If you own your own home this will not apply. Local Council support will not be granted if your total income is too high. It may be a good idea to write down everything that comes into the house and everything that goes out and see if there are any savings that can be made. It may be that your sons need to contribute more. If your husband claims anything on your behalf you should have that money. You say you are not fit for work, in that case go and speak to your local Jobcentre for advice on what benefits you may be entitled to. Disability benefits are there to be claimed although there is a process and you will be assessed at a medical.
Like many on here I have worked since I was 17, brought up two children, had various part time jobs, worked at home when my children were younger, did long hours with two jobs when I got divorced with no maintenance and trusted them to be at home. I sometimes feel guilty about the long hours I worked but I managed to keep my house and hopefully a reasonable lifestyle for them. And my retirement has been put off until I am 66. I still work full time.
It may be time for you to evaluate your home life, try a part time job, even as someone has said be an Avon rep, join some groups to get ideas on what you can do and meet others in your position. Talk to everyone at home.
There is now talk of the pension age being increased to 75 and I do pity those poor people if that comes into law. (There will be too much opposition but it is a scary thought)

Help towards childcare stops when the child is 11.

Its the same old tale isnt it.
The inference that a woman who stays at home to care for her children and home isnt working. Her contribution is worth nothing ? Really ?
I agree that its a lifestlye choice but one which some women and their husbands made in the past .
Ethel bags your comment was disgusting and ive reported it.
Why make spitefulcomments like that ?

I did think that remark was totally uncalled for.

Homemaking and bringing up five children would have been considered a full-time job a few years ago and going out to work a doddle in comparison.

I worked full-time as a teacher until just before
I had our daughter. After that I was able to take two and a half years off although I still had some private pupils, which helped. I made up all the NI contributions I had missed when I went back to work.When she was two and a half I did supply teaching, which fitted nicely around her as I found an excellent lady , who is still a friend, to look after her. She started school at nearly 5 and I was able to do some more work, teaching adults in the workplace, as well as the supply. I taught for a year if France as part of my university course, so I also get a small French pension. If I ever needed more money for something when I was younger I took on a weekend part-time job to help make ends meet! (eg paying the mortgage). It was hard work, but worth it. Admittedly, I didn’t have children to look after, but a little part-time job would have been helpful for this lady, money-wise and would have given her a break from the children.

I didn't work. Well, I worked for six years of my life, until my first child came along. After that I put all my time and energy in bringing up my children and making a comfortable, happy (most of the time) home. Nothing wrong with that. My daughter does the same now.

In fact, I think the world might be a happier place if more women could do that. I am sorry for the women who have to work to make ends meet, but many work for their own benefit and maybe to the detriment of family life.

Lets face it, family life in this country does rather seem to be going tits up these days.

The OP should have a joint bank account with her husband. She has obviously worked hard for the benefit of him and his children.