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Legal, pensions and money

no income

(255 Posts)
Lilylavender Mon 26-Aug-19 18:54:13

I dont understand why I have no money of my own
My hubby is 70 amd gets state pension plus pension credit which apparently inlcudes a small amount for being married
as i am only 62 have to wait 4 years for my pension if it ever happens as they keep raising the age
We dont actually have enough pension for hubby to give me some for spending money as we have two sons at home who also,pay board which pays for broadband etc
I feel like I am a second class citizen. A woman who brought a family up and has to ask the husband for any pennies. In the case of his bday anniversary christmas etc I cant go and buy anything is secret.
I realize that most women my age with pension age husband maybe in the same boat. I brought up 5 children over 37 years so never had a private pension nor worked full time.
I feel left out. Surely we should be paid something.

Nanniejc1 Tue 27-Aug-19 15:28:15

I think you’ll find that your national insurance stamps are paid for the years that you had children & until they left full time education.I always worked part time while our children were growing up so paid National insurance .Maybe you’re best to speak to Citizens Advice.

EmilyHarburn Tue 27-Aug-19 15:14:02

I think that to get any money before your retirement age, which quite unfairly has gone up, you would need to sign on. This would be very demanding and any money paid you as explained by Monica might result in your husband loosing some of his current allowances. If you went to the Citizens advice they would probably help you work our what is best for you to do.
Certainly when you do get your pension have it paid into your own account.

In the past women who had to work from home ran tupperware parties, or did Avon calling etc. Others make items which they sell on e bay. Some people go to car boot sales and then sell the stuff they buy for more on Ebay. You may wish to work out how to get some income to tide you over.

All the very best. When I had no job, as a housewife, I was a figure analyst for someones PHD just before computers came in.

MissAdventure Tue 27-Aug-19 14:47:31

Your husband should be sharing whatever money comes in with you.

It's not just his to spend; its towards household expenses.

If you choose not to work, then obviously there will be less to go round.

H1954 Tue 27-Aug-19 14:27:38

I've sent a PM to your inbox LilyLavendar.

H1954 Tue 27-Aug-19 14:26:51

Hi, I'm not going to pry as to how much your sons pay in board and lodging but maybe you could review both and put the rates up a bit? Not only are you feeding them, doing laundry and putting a roof over their heads you are no doubt doing all their cooking, cleaning, mending etc. Try getting that cheap elsewhere !!!! Charge enough to put a bit by for yourself.

Paperbackwriter Tue 27-Aug-19 13:49:23

Perhaps your children's rent money could be paid to you so you can decide how much is for bills etc and how much can be kept by you.

The pension thing is very difficult and confusing. I stupidly opted for the married woman's reduced rate of National Insurance when far too young to know what was what, and as my husband is a year younger than me I had to wait till I was 66 to get any of it. What I hadn't realised was that this meant I didn't get the 19 years per child NI credit so it turned out to have been a terrible misjudgement on my part. I've just had a few years off from the day-job (writing) but am getting back into it in order not to starve a few years down the line!

polnan Tue 27-Aug-19 13:49:05

I am surprised that your dh gets pension credit when someone, albeit children living in the house with you and paying towards costs.

pinkquartz Tue 27-Aug-19 13:42:37

Because many of you have been royally screwed over by Govt. you take all your frustrations out on a soul who simply asked for advice.
I am sickened at the huge amount of unkindness.

This is how the system works......they get all the "little people" to turn on each other rather than unite and go for those who are corrupt and greedy.
Our society is sick and the Govt corrupt and greedy but lets take it all out on one individual who can't make the system work for her.

I thought her post sounded like she is and has been controlled by her husband.......she needs help not attacking even if you don't like her.

there are also many helpful posts but I doubt she will find them amongst the critical ones.

So much for sisterhood eh! not on Gransnet clearly. the bitterness is clear to see.
but who did this you and me? not the OP but the Govt. so save your vitriol for them.

The OP didn't force you to work, the Govt did or you simply wanted to in which case be glad you could cos some of us are too ill to work.

Hm999 Tue 27-Aug-19 13:13:23

I always worked ft in a stressful job, 2 children, an unhelpful (ex) husband and no family nearby. I quite a lot older than OP, but often find the comments on here quite conservative (little c).
Am really shocked at some of the unsupportive comments here. She lived the life that our mothers led, maybe even our older sisters, and yet, despite not knowing where she lives (she could be out in the sticks, no jobs, no buses), if she drives, what her qualifications are or if her husband's job meant she could work, a lot of respondents have pretty much told her she doesn't deserve a pension. Five kids sounds like hard work to me.
I'm with ginger, "‘have to ask my husband for any pennies’ is to me, such a sad statement".

Gingergirl Tue 27-Aug-19 12:54:21

not sure where the word ‘ostensibly ‘ appeared from in my previous post as I didn’t actually type that!?

BusterTank Tue 27-Aug-19 12:52:50

I'm am in the same boat . I have started to do surveys on line which you are rewarded with vouchers . This helps with presents being they are Amazon vouchers . Also entering free competitions . I'm very much like you i don't like going cap in hand .

Gingergirl Tue 27-Aug-19 12:50:10

Apologies if this has already been said but your comment of ‘have to ask my husband for any pennies’ is to me, such a sad statement. I know that we have to wait longer for our state pension-and all of that is demeaning and unjust but presumably you are living with someone who loves and respects you....and if you don’t have joint access to your money, surely you can agree on a way of your being able to access a little of it for your own personal use. Unless you are a compulsive shopper to the extreme, why would anyone deny you the money you need for a certain basic quality of life. I do hear you say that there aren’t the funds for this...well, in that case, I think your adult child ostensibly need to pay more for living there. Your needs are as important as anyone else’s and until the state pension kicks in, I think you both need to review your finances and put a little for your personal expenses into the equation.

FC61 Tue 27-Aug-19 12:14:27

You have two sons at home who pay board which pays for broadband ? Super fast broadband is £47 month so maybe twice that with TV/Sky maybe ( don’t know don’t have tv) . But two grown men should be paying reasonable board so why not your husband take the part for rent and bills and you charge something for all that cooking cleaning washing !!! I would organise it with my sons if my hubby was difficult ! Like hello boys , cooking £7 wk each, washing £5 a week, cleaning £40 a week ( joking) . That’s £68 a month each ! Nothing to do with your husband unless he is the cook/cleaner . After all if they’re working they’re earning , if they’re unemployed they should learn that life costs . Well it’s what I’d do if I didn’t want to work outside the home ( not everyone can cope with that)

absthame Tue 27-Aug-19 11:51:59

I really find it difficult to understand why one person in a marriage does not recognise the need for their spouse's right to be not only their partner/ friend but to also be an independent individual and that includes having some degree of financial independence.

Most males expect to be able to buy the odd pint or newspaper etc for themselves or presents for whoever, why the hell should their spouse be expected to beg for the same privilege, if that's what it ishmm I don't understand itconfused

nanasam Tue 27-Aug-19 11:39:33

It appears Lilylavender has left the building, perhaps she didn't like hearing home truths from some people.

mosaicwarts Tue 27-Aug-19 11:36:24

I'm with you all in spirit Zahorodnyj0909. It is shocking, and we are all being swept under the carpet. I am glad for WASPI's constant efforts.

I am now 62 and widowed and have to juggle all my finances, I am starting to get it down to a fine art but it's not the retirement I'd imagined. If I had received notification of my pension being deferred to 66, I would have increased my savings plan and wouldn't be in this situation. I found out from a friend! I cannot get a job locally as unemployment here is rife, recently a zero hour contract job attracted 500 applicants, I wouldn't get a second look. I thought of trying to get a job as a cleaner as there are many holiday cottages here, but they are spread out throughout the county, and I have nerves about driving unfortunately.

Lilylavender, I am sorry you don't have any money of your own at all. Could you 'make' things and sell them on Etsy? My daughter paints old records, she recently sold one for £20. The craft movement is very active and there is money to be made with Christmas coming smile

harrysgran Tue 27-Aug-19 11:34:53

Finding it difficult to be sympathetic I work full-time I'm 62 and have another 4 years to wait however it really makes me annoyed that a friend who never worked and who has a wealthy husband and an extremely luxurious lifestyle has been claiming hers for years from the age of 60 I might add I also brought 3 children up if the lady is too ill to work then she could surely get a benefit but it does seem like it's a choice not to earn her own money over the years so therefore I don't understand how she feels upset now

EllanVannin Tue 27-Aug-19 11:27:45

Yes, I have an axe to grind because when my late H was ill with terminal cancer and because I was looking after him and working at the same time, I applied for AA back in the 90's. He was turned down !

I applied 2 years ago after a mini-stroke because it left me dizzy and wanting to be sick all the time. At 77 I was turned down ! I never went out for weeks.

Yes, I did ask why me when seeing others who used a stick when it was convenient, applying for everything and duly receiving whatever there was, for nothing.

Zahorodnyj0909 Tue 27-Aug-19 11:24:00

Hi, The rise in State Pension age for women born in the 50’s is so unfair. As we await the Judicial Review, hundreds of women from Waspi, WePaidInYouPayOut and other Pension groups are gathering outside Media City, Salford Quays, Manchester on 7th September at 2pm. The Government nor the Press are listening to us about how unjust up to SIX years have been added to SPA with little or no notice of this hike. Come and join us everyone!

Molly10 Tue 27-Aug-19 11:23:29

I'm not sure if LilyLavendar is really complaining at having to wait for her pension or whether she is really having a gripe at her too tight husband.

If you have brought 5 children up you must be a lady who knows how to budget.

There are 3 contributing adults in your household so all costs shared you are in a better situation than most.

Have a chat with your husband. You are certainly not in the worst WASPI scenario.

EllanVannin Tue 27-Aug-19 11:20:35

I bet there are a few pensioners now who've never worked but still get the same pension of those of us who have worked all our lives-------now that's not fair !! I do know one or two and the state makes up the shortfall whatever that is.

I know everyone has to have money of sorts but when I think about how hard I worked and nearly killed myself in the process I ask myself why I bothered.

chrissie13 Tue 27-Aug-19 11:18:42

Lily, if, as you say, your health issues are so bad that you'll never be able to work, surely you would be entitled to some sort of benefit to tide you over until you get your pension. If you haven't already done so, you should make an appointment at your Citizen's Advice and they will help with your options.

humptydumpty Tue 27-Aug-19 11:18:31

OP has not posted for a while - can we have some feedback on these posts please, lily?

suziewoozie Tue 27-Aug-19 11:18:20

Isn’t it still the case that you have to have paid contributions for at least 10 years to get a pension - you can’t get it just on credited contributions for child care - quite rightly

PernillaVanilla Tue 27-Aug-19 11:17:27

I am 63, still working full time and have done since I was 21, excepting 8 weeks maternity leave with each of my children.
Surely, OP you could find some work that you could do?