Marrying again and unsure who inherits my house

Denil963, I am so glad you did, hard enough splitting up without you losing your home and your children not getting
what their father worked for.

Here's a tricky one if you can keep track.....

I have a friend whose mother died when she was in college. A few years later my friend's widowed father remarried. He and his new wife (no children), continued to live in the same house that my friend grew up in and that her own mother had worked very hard for years, to help pay for.

When my friend's father died, in the late '80s, he left her a small amount of money, but his 2nd wife got the bulk of the estate which included the house.

Widow later hooked up with a divorced man who moved in with her. He had one child, a son who lived with his mother. I wasn't clear if widow and her new partner were ever married. She later died and in her will she left the house to her partner (husband?). He lived there alone for several years, until he got sick and died too.

Long story short, that man's son now owns my friend's childhood home. He lives there with his wife, two teen aged children and his elderly mother-in-law.

My close friend was in this very same situation a few years ago. On marriage, she changed her will to leave everything to her children, with new husband able to live in her house on her death until a) his death or b) his cohabiting/marrying another woman.

Sadly, she did die before him (very unexpectedly) and her wishes have been carried out. Her children know they will eventually be able to sell their house but are happy for him to live there whilst he is alive/single. They have done everything through their solicitors to ensure there are no emotions involved, or any chance of confusion.

I hope this helps - and many congratulations on your forthcoming nuptuals

I know a gentleman still living in his late wife's house some 20 years later. Her children can do nothing until he dies.

I can only echo the many cautionary posts wills are a nightmare. Not only can they be challenged, they can be changed secretly by a partner, carer or relative who influences an elderly person.
I am in a similar position with new partner, a new will has been written, assuming my new partner stays in the long term, provision will be made. When my family agree that I cannot make decisions myself they will get power of attorney so that any will cannot be changed secretly.

Everybody knows there will be No Marriage.
I’m lucky everyone gets on well, they all know and like my new partner so I have done all I can, not all families are so fortunate

You could make will leaving house to be divided equally among your children one year after your death. This would give your new husband a whole year to find alternative accommodation. Make sure your children know what you do so no shocks after death. An alternative would be to allow your husband to stay living in house but pay your children rent.

Chattykathy, I know of a case like that. Fairly early dementia, but the man had not yet been officially deemed to lack mental capacity.

A live-in carer, employed by his close and loving family to look after him, very soon completely estranged him from them, took him abroad and married him, and got him to change his will and leave everything to her - and it was a substantial estate.
He died not long afterwards.

They went to court but the woman was so clever and plausible that they lost the case.
The person who told me all this strongly suspected that the so-called ex carer has hastened her father’s end - she was an ex nurse - but since she’d swiftly had him cremated there was no way to pursue this.

People with dementia are incredibly vulnerable to the unscrupulous, particularly if they come in a guise of ‘caring’. Families need to be very vigilant and preferably have a Power of Attorney in place ASAP - often easier said than done, though, I know, since dementia can make people very suspicious of others’ motives, not to mention being unable to understand that they’re no longer capable of managing their own affairs.

Spot on Witzend. We had exactly that in our extended family, not with a carer but a long lost relative that appeared and took over.
She was challenged and agreed to half out of court - £200k nice pay for looking after Aunt Nells passing.

If someone has early onset dementia, you can see how they can be tricked but if they are of sound mind I can't understand it. If however your family don't care or visit I can.

In Scotland marriage does ot invalidate a will but you cannot disinherit your spouse or chidren their "legal rights " must be satisfied

Even without dementia people can be tricked, especially if they are made to believe that the UP (Unscrupulous Person) loves them, or else is so infatuated with the UP that they will do whatever they ask.

It’s a bit different, but an elderly neighbour of ours - no dementia but simply very naive and trusting - was conned out of over £100k, bit by bit, by oh-so-nice-and-friendly people who first told her that she’d won £1m in a lottery, and then needed payments for ‘tax’ before the money could be released.

I have sent a PM hopeful.