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Legal, pensions and money

Is 'housekeeping' classed as income?

(114 Posts)
hope2021 Mon 01-Mar-21 21:21:29

just that really.

For the last 30 years I have been a stay at home mum. I have not earned a wage or paid an NI stamp. I totally realise I will not get a state pension. I am 66 soon. I repeat, I will not be trying to claim a pension

My partner took care of everything and gave me a housekeeping amount of money to run the house, and when our children started work, they contributed too, and still do. They will look after me always.

I realise now that a lot of people would look on this with shock and horror for not having a job, but that's the way it was in those days - Mum stayed at home, Dad went to work and then the children take care of us.

but back to my question, would this be classed as income by HMRC? as they have made the enquiry as to what I've been living on these last 30 years.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 02-Mar-21 09:13:08

Sorry Hope just read your post, you have 2 years left, I am indeed sorry to hear this, you didn’t put it in your original post

JaneJudge Tue 02-Mar-21 09:17:49

Your partner should have paid your NI contribution for you and I am quite shocked he didn't tbh, it has left you in a very precarious situation. Check the link Castilemon has put in her post and follow up to see how short you are of your contribution and top it up if you can. For your own sake.

No one cares that you were a stay at home Mum

paddyanne Tue 02-Mar-21 09:31:43

No one knows how long they have left,My OH's friend was told he wouldn't live past his 55.th birthday ,hes now nearing 66.Hopefully he'll live a lot longer as he's just become a GF and we're all delighted he's around to see tha wedding of his son and birth of his GS .

AmberSpyglass Tue 02-Mar-21 09:38:51

That was definitely NOT the norm in the 1990s. I’m sorry, but you’ve left yourself extremely financially vulnerable and it sounds like you’re starting to bear the brunt of that now.

Aveline Tue 02-Mar-21 09:41:41

I don't understand. The OP refers to herself as a 'stay at home mum' then says she doesn't have children to look after her?
Not actually married. Was she the housekeeper in which case she should have had a salary as well as housekeeping money? All very puzzling.

Alexa Tue 02-Mar-21 09:48:15

When my husband divorced me I was not fully paid up and I paid one smallish lump sum contribution in order to receive full state pension.

I had done some paid part time work during our 30 year marriage which began in 1955.

Hope should not feel she must excuse her choice. She has worked as a home maker and mother which jolly well ought to be recognised as a legit way to earn one's living.

mokryna Tue 02-Mar-21 09:50:43

I feel for you as some men are very controlling and you don’t realize the situation.
My ex wouldn’t let me take out a private pension when I stopped working in the UK to come here. I paid UK voluntary contributions for twenty years, thank goodness. My ex strongly disapproved but I fortunately went against him and his family who thought it was a waste of money. Sadly I didn’t keep up the payments, due to lack of money, for the following twenty years.
Couldn’t you pay some back payments, as some security is better than nothing?

Bibbity Tue 02-Mar-21 09:52:24

It’s not income in the formal sense.
You husbands money was income that you had an entitlement to. You agreed that we would be employed and you would run the home.
Also your children’s money works just be viewed as paying for their housing etc.

So you do not need to declare anything.

Jane43 Tue 02-Mar-21 10:03:31

Shandy57

Did you get child benefit for the children? NI is paid during those years.

It depends how old the children are. I stayed at home from 1966 when my first son was born until 1975 when I started working full time because part time jobs then were few and far between. I believe the NI credit came in that year or soon after so I don’t receive the full pension. I didn’t know you could pay the missing years until much later when I wouldn’t have been able to afford it.

Callistemon Tue 02-Mar-21 10:17:23

The housekeeping money is, as it says, money for running the household. So it's not classed as your personal income, for tax purposes.
Yes, that is correct.
It is for household expenditure, food, bills etc.
I'm wondering who paid for the children's needs eg clothing, shoes, extra lessons etc?

What happened to any surplus, if there was any?
I was wondering if you tucked some away in your own account, hope2021 - I hope so!

Gwenisgreat1 Tue 02-Mar-21 10:35:24

There are schemes you can pay into and virtually buy a personal pension - would that be an option?

Paperbackwriter Tue 02-Mar-21 10:39:41

Casdon

If you had a job until 1989 and you’re now coming up to 66, presumably that means you accrued pension entitlement for 16 years as well, so why not claim what you are due?

Yes, those 16 years, plus the years of receiving child benefit, all count towards a pension. You will be able to claim so please don't think you can't.

alibee Tue 02-Mar-21 10:49:18

I am not shocked at all and everyone has choices in their lives. I have been to university and had a full career my best friend for over 30 years gave up work in 1993 to have her children , supported by her husband and has never worked since. She has a beautiful home and garden, is a wonderful cook and her children are just delightful. Her life is not better or worse than mine just different which I admire - I am not a wonderful cook for info !
Check that you don't have a small pension running in the background I think you will find there will be a small one .

Dee1012 Tue 02-Mar-21 10:57:05

I have it on good authority I have about 2 years left.
If you are in poor health the perhaps a talk with Citizens Advice?
There is support available that isn't contribution based.

Best wishes.

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 02-Mar-21 10:58:23

In answer to your OP if your partner (not married it says) paid you over your Personal Allowance for you to spend on yourself, not for household costs, then that should have been declared as income and NHI,as it was then , and taxes would have been paid. I’m assuming that this wasn’t the case so you won’t have built up any Pensions from your time at home.

All you can tell the HMRC is the truth.

Grannygrumps1 Tue 02-Mar-21 11:05:09

TrendyNannie is right. Don’t bank on your kids. And what would happen if they lost their jobs. For new state pension you need to have paid a minimum of 10 years NI payments. If you haven’t paid that you will get nothing. This changed to stop people coming from overseas and claiming our benefits. If you’ve given nothing then don’t expect anything. You’ve lived a very privileged life if you haven’t worked.

Grannygrumps1 Tue 02-Mar-21 11:06:59

And no housekeeping is not an income if you haven’t paid any tax or national insurance. You living in cloud cuckoo land.
Sorry to be blunt.

Teddy123 Tue 02-Mar-21 11:08:44

Dear Hope, I was like you and stopped working in 1978 when my twins were born. I was 32.
Looking at mums nowadays it seems a lot easier to go out to work with the little ones at nursery, school, etc.

So when I wanted to claim my pension, I had some years built up from the age of 17 - 32. I was then given the option of buying some extra years which it cost me about £4000.
I wasn't allowed to buy the full amount of missing years.
State Pension is inadequate to live any sort of life. But it's better than nothing.
I'm shocked that some on here find it strange that some of us wanted to be around for our kids. Not to mention aged parents who needed a huge amount of help coinciding with my little ones being adults!

Sarnia Tue 02-Mar-21 11:13:49

TrendyNannie6

While you are saying you were a stay at home mum and not wanting to claim a pension that’s totally your choice, but what I’m more shocked about is your children will look after you always, I take it you mean financially!I wouldn’t expect any of my AC to contribute to me and look after me always, that’s not why I had my children, Are you in the U.K., I’m very surprised that you expect your children to do this, I wonder what their wives / husbands think

Totally agree here. I don't think my children would stand by and watch me struggle but I didn't have my children as a form of insurance against old age and infirmity.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Mar-21 11:14:18

No. Housekeeping money given to you from your partner's earnings is not classed as income.
You need to contact Citizens Advice to see what you are entitled to. And claim it! But I get the jmpression you are very ill? In which case I'm sure your children will take care of you.

M0nica Tue 02-Mar-21 11:23:52

Hope2021, do I understand from your comment ^ I have it on good authority I have about 2 years left. So it shouldn't be to much of a drain on them both.^ That you are terminally ill?

Presumably that is what you mean when you say you will not be claiming a pension. I am so sorry. What a time for you to suddenly have the tax people chasing you.

But to answer the question the asked. No, housekeeping will not be treated as income, even though you are not married. because although not married, you are living in a domestic household and the money your receive is spent on that household. So that is one worry off your plate.

vampirequeen Tue 02-Mar-21 11:24:22

Talk to the pensions people. They'll want to know about your money simply because you won't be showing up on any system. You'll have some stamps due to Home Responsibility and you may be entitled to income support. Are you still living with your partner? If so, he will be able to claim you as a dependent and will get extra state pension. You must claim what you're entitled to. You maybe didn't go out to a job but bringing up children and caring for a home is still work. I doubt you were a lady of leisure who sat at home all day and had staff to care for the house and children.

Rosina Tue 02-Mar-21 11:26:47

I stayed home to bring up the children in the seventies and early eighties - I was happy to do that as I wanted to be with them, but also OH had a demanding job with very long hours - often working on Saturdays too - and there wouldn't have been much family life for the children if I wasn't there either. I was told that qualification for child benefit meant your NI contributions were paid. when I got close to retirement (by then working full time ) I had a letter asking if I wanted to make up my contributions for the years I spent at home - there was a shortfall. Certain that this would be hundreds of pounds at least, I enquired and the payment needed was about £65. It might be worth your enquiring about this hope2021 - you might be pleasantly surprised.
I can't see why some people feel 'shocked' at women staying home to bring up children - it's a personal choice, I was lucky enough to be able to do it, but we were hardly rich and went without some luxuries - didn't have a car for example.

kwal Tue 02-Mar-21 11:41:34

AGREED. I wouldn't dream of expecting my children to look after me. I brought them up to me independant and to work for what they want so I would be a bit of a hypocrite if I didn't follow suit. I know they would help if it was really necessary but I wouldn't ask.

cc Tue 02-Mar-21 11:42:25

You will get a pension, as others have said you will be credited with NI for the years you claimed Child Benefit (ie until the youngest was 18) and you can also make top-up NI payments now to increase your pension. Apologies if others have said this, I've not been able to read all the comments.