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Legal, pensions and money

DAUGHER IN LAW BORROWING MONEY

(34 Posts)
Grammy57 Mon 29-Nov-21 19:13:12

My grand daughter is an only child and is 14.5 years old. My daughter in law says she had very little money and basically I have been subsidising her for past 6 months. I have told her that I will always be here for her but she needs to start helping hersold. I got her contact details for CMS and Womens Aid. I have also told her about driving jobs which she could take daughter along with her. She said yes yes she would take a look - today she has asked for £500 to repair her car. I do not believe she is helping herself and I want to say No I worked all my life not to give you a free ride. I am afraid I will get angry and say unpleasant things - how can I say, this is the last loan ever, I cannot afford to sub you any longer> - really appreciate any suggestions/help

sodapop Fri 25-Mar-22 19:05:05

It's difficult for you Grammy57 seeing your daughter in Law and granddaughter in need. If you are able to lend the money then set up a proper repayment plan with your daughter in law.
You need to be honest and tell her you can't afford to help financially any more. Are there other ways you can help maybe, cooking meals, having your granddaughter to stay so your daughter in law can work etc.

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 25-Mar-22 19:06:24

Old thread

lemsip Fri 25-Mar-22 19:26:04

yes, an old Thread from NOV 2021............

.why or how did you find it rafichagran Fri 25-Mar-22

Nonogran Fri 25-Mar-22 19:48:29

If you think she can stick to a repayment plan the conversation can be “IF I lend you this money, how do you intend to repay it? What payment plan will you put in place?”

The contributor above who suggested you speak to the garage or ask for an itemised quote is a good idea.

If you have loaned money in the past which has not been repaid now is the time to explain “Sorry but you didn’t repay last time so I have to say no this time.”
I think you are being seen as a soft touch.

rafichagran Fri 25-Mar-22 20:01:04

I did not see the date, although I confess I usually look at that 1st. I will not comment further. Note to self, remember to check date always

M0nica Sat 26-Mar-22 14:54:12

I can see your problem Grammy57 - and £500, is a lot of money.

Two ideas occur to me, one already raised, if her car needs repairing and she needs it to work, insist that if you are paying, that it goes to a garage you know and trust so that there is some comeback, if the repair is not properly done.

Secondly, limit your help to items that directly benefit your granddaughter - school uniform, clothes, school outings; something of that kind, again money could be paid direct to the school or you could do the clothes shop with the girl.

MerylStreep Sat 26-Mar-22 15:00:06

I doubt if Grammy is still hanging on for advice
November 21

biglouis Wed 30-Mar-22 12:57:29

When I moved into my first (unfurnished) flat I asked my grandmother to lend me some money towards the cost of buying furniture. I made a list of the things i thought I would need - with approximate prices. I also set down how I proposed to repay the money at ££ a month and how long it would take.

My grandmother, who was a very practical woman, looked at the list and then suggested several things I had missed off. She said she would not lend me the money but was going to gift it to me. I refused and told her I would feel more comfortable with having it as a loan. After I had paid her back half she refused to accept any more and told me she would be very angry if I sneaked it into her bank account.

One did not argue with my grandmother.

We made several shopping trips to buy things and although our tastes in furnishings differed I know she enjoyed the outings and the fact that I appreciated her advice on cookers, kitchenware etc.