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Spending money on yourself - easy or hard?

(91 Posts)
grannyactivist Tue 30-Nov-21 17:03:41

I want for very little, have no expensive hobbies and the hobby that I do have (family history), I have a subscription for, so when it comes to my birthday or Christmas I never know what to say that I 'want'.

A few year's back I began to fill in YouGov questionnaires - they promise a £50 payment for completing about a million of the things. I decided that when I got my £50 (if I lived that long) I would be wildly extravagant for just once in my life, and treat myself to some really expensive, super quality licorice. In the past I've made similar bargains with myself, but when it's come down to it I've simply been unable to bring myself to spend the money - on me! There's not much spare money and if there is any it usually gets added to our charity donations.

The £50 arrived in my bank a few days ago and I spent two days dithering, but I have spent it ALL on a licorice advent calendar (should have been £60, but I had an offer and got it reduced, with free shipping from Scandinavia).

I can't actually believe I've done that, and I'm alternating between defiance and utter shock at myself. My husband thinks it's hilarious, but is also deeply surprised (and encouraging) that I went through with my promise to myself. It's obscene, I know - and I don't even have the excuse of sharing it, because most of my family dislike licorice. blush

But - I also know that any one of my siblings would spend that much on themselves (and much more) without even giving it a second's thought.

So, what about you? Do you find spending money on yourself easy or hard?

MissAdventure Tue 30-Nov-21 20:28:51

Yes, still hobbling around, Calistemon.
I asked for recommendations a couple of years ago, on here (just in case I wasted money) in comfortable shoes.

However, I've now realised it's my feet, so have made a saving there. grin

MissAdventure Tue 30-Nov-21 20:32:08

My sentences are making less and less sense.

J52 Tue 30-Nov-21 20:41:09

Having been brought up quite strictly, on the ‘children seen and not heard’ method, I only had the basic needs, few treats.
Now I can easily spend on myself, but I do like getting a bargain. I also enjoy buying presents, so I suppose I like shopping!
Not boring food shopping .

nandad Tue 30-Nov-21 20:54:16

Well done GA. I too struggle to spend on myself, even to the point of not spending the money MiL has given me for Christmases and birthdays over the past 12 years! I feel I have everything I need and am truly grateful for the fact but I came from a family where every penny mattered and my mum didn’t spend on herself, so like you I baulk at personal extravagance.
My son tells me that Christmas and birthdays are the time to ask for something indulgent so for the last few years I have asked him for a donation to a local homeless shelter. Not money, DS gives me a budget, then the two of us go out shopping for food and other items the shelter are in need of. We have a great time shopping together, he gives me a present that I really want and I don’t end up with a stuff that sits in a drawer. I love it.

sodapop Tue 30-Nov-21 20:57:09

One of my weaknesses is books, I spend a lot of money having them sent from UK. I really dislike reading e-books.
My husband & I like eating out so we often go out for lunch. We were discussing this the other day and said how when we were young we never went to restaurants unless it was a really special occasion.

Coastpath Wed 01-Dec-21 10:18:48

I just went a little weak at the knees at the though of going into Liberty and buying a handbag. What a lovely treat and a treasure to last forever.

Blossoming Wed 01-Dec-21 10:35:15

I used to find it very easy, until I realised how much’stuff’ I had. Now I prefer to spend it on family and local charities.

M0nica Wed 01-Dec-21 10:39:29

If I would like something and I can afford it, and will use it, I get it. Why not? I can see absolutely no virtue in denying yourself something that you can afford and can and will use and which gives you pleasure. We all constantly make decisions on balancing what our income is and priorities are.

We all have our own personal list of spending priorities and the OP obviously gets more pleasure from her acts of charity than anything else and this is why she does not often indulge in luxuries like this and why she gets such pleasure on the rare occasions when she does.

theworriedwell Wed 01-Dec-21 10:45:23

I know just what you mean. I've spent over £1,500 on presents for Christmas and I'm agonising about buying myself a box of cocoa dusted almonds, I love them and DH will often give me some money for a treat before Christmas. Here's hoping.

Calistemon Wed 01-Dec-21 10:55:11


Yes, still hobbling around, Calistemon.
I asked for recommendations a couple of years ago, on here (just in case I wasted money) in comfortable shoes.

However, I've now realised it's my feet, so have made a saving there. grin

It's my feet too, MissAdventure.
I don't think God was concentrating when he got to that bit of making me.

Calistemon Wed 01-Dec-21 10:56:34

Do people point out to you, very helpfully, that you're hobbling, MissAdventure?
As if you didn't know?

ayse Wed 01-Dec-21 11:03:33

I finally got round to buying three new jumpers in the Woolovers sale. I haven’t had any new ones for several years and I’d started darning them. This was rapidly followed by 3 thermal vests for DH as he feels the cold. Oh, and the new Vax stick as the Dyson wasn’t doing the job at all.

Susan55 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:26:16

I don't believe there is anything wrong with treating yourself to something you really want if you can afford it. Why not? It's important to keep yourself happy (and others too but not at the expense of your own happiness) so if buying something you would really like is important to you and makes you happy .... and you can afford it .....then go for it!

katy1950 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:26:16

Chocolate chocolate and more chocolate sorry can't resist don't feel guilty at all

Keeper1 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:28:22

I think you are jolly brave if it is anything like the Danish liquorice I tried...

It was very very salty

Startingover61 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:32:03

My ex-husband was a BIG spender and we were always in debt. Now that I’ve been on my own for a few years and am comfortable financially, I have begun to spend money on myself. I enjoy reading, so a fair bit goes on books, although I do visit the library often. I’ve also recently bought a couple of nice jumpers. My most extravagant purchase, however, is an opal ring, bought a few weeks ago. It’s very pretty and I wear it every day. It’s taken me a while not to feel guilty about indulging myself though. My dad died leaving quite a lot in the bank. Sad that he never enjoyed the money he worked hard for.

Juicylucy Wed 01-Dec-21 12:34:36

Far to easy unfortunately

greenlady102 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:38:29

easy...why should I not?...the bills are paid, the pets are fed, my charity donations are monthly and automated.

Theoddbird Wed 01-Dec-21 12:47:00

Occasionally I treat myself...not often. I did buy a gorgeous pair of Timberland walking boots two weeks ago on ebay....brilliant condition and half the price of new.

Pammie1 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:52:11

I find it difficult to the extent that I dither for a long time about whether and how much to spend and then google reviews to get the best deal on whatever it is I’m looking for. My one exception is skincare - the range I’ve used for years is quite expensive but I’m economical with it !

Missiseff Wed 01-Dec-21 12:55:41

Very, very easy. Life's too short not to.

Tmeadow2 Wed 01-Dec-21 12:56:59

I had my daughter when I was 18 (single parent). I am 70 in April and struggled for years to provide for my child who was my life. I worked from her being 3 months old until I was 60. Life was very hard but I managed to buy a house and get out of the awful mouse and cockroach infested Council flat. She married at 19 and I met and married a lovely kind man the year after. I bought a sandwich shop a few years later then we bought a post office and newsagents. This was the best and worst move of my life. My daughter moved house to be near me and worked in the post office with me, all we did was laugh. Then my world came crashing down in 2008 when my daughter passed away with bladder cancer, she was diagnosed and died within 6 weeks. I still cry daily and miss her so much. I didn’t spend money on myself for years as there was no spare cash. I am still struggling to spend any money on myself. We own a 4 bed detached house outright and have plenty in savings. It all seems futile to me now. I just can’t justify spending money on myself.

Lucca Wed 01-Dec-21 12:57:44

I spend large amounts quite easily but can be illogically stingy (with self) about small amounts😂

Happysexagenarian Wed 01-Dec-21 13:04:52

Oh I find it very easy! If I like it and want it I'll buy it. No hesitation, no guilt.

Enjoy your liquorice Grannyactivist, but don't eat it all at once - could be disastrous! I absolutely love liquorice too.

Lizzies Wed 01-Dec-21 13:13:37

Deedaa I am the same. Although I did dither over spending more than I had ever spent on a weeks holiday on going to an hotel over Christmas! I did book it and have got my fingers firmly crossed that there’s no lockdown.