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Spending money on yourself - easy or hard?

(91 Posts)
grannyactivist Tue 30-Nov-21 17:03:41

I want for very little, have no expensive hobbies and the hobby that I do have (family history), I have a subscription for, so when it comes to my birthday or Christmas I never know what to say that I 'want'.

A few year's back I began to fill in YouGov questionnaires - they promise a £50 payment for completing about a million of the things. I decided that when I got my £50 (if I lived that long) I would be wildly extravagant for just once in my life, and treat myself to some really expensive, super quality licorice. In the past I've made similar bargains with myself, but when it's come down to it I've simply been unable to bring myself to spend the money - on me! There's not much spare money and if there is any it usually gets added to our charity donations.

The £50 arrived in my bank a few days ago and I spent two days dithering, but I have spent it ALL on a licorice advent calendar (should have been £60, but I had an offer and got it reduced, with free shipping from Scandinavia).

I can't actually believe I've done that, and I'm alternating between defiance and utter shock at myself. My husband thinks it's hilarious, but is also deeply surprised (and encouraging) that I went through with my promise to myself. It's obscene, I know - and I don't even have the excuse of sharing it, because most of my family dislike licorice. blush

But - I also know that any one of my siblings would spend that much on themselves (and much more) without even giving it a second's thought.

So, what about you? Do you find spending money on yourself easy or hard?

Granniesunite Wed 01-Dec-21 19:22:56

You enjoy. Lifes too short.

DillytheGardener Wed 01-Dec-21 19:36:49

My husband and I don’t scrimp and save. We are bit tight with food at home and by own brand everything, but then we eat out fairly regularly and spend a —small fortune— bit so it evens out. I don’t buy overly expensive clothes, make up etc but I do buy a lot of it. My parents spent their money freely too so I guess I take after them.
Hope the liquorice was fab grannyactivist

tidyskatemum Wed 01-Dec-21 19:49:58

I’ve always felt guilty about spending money on myself without understanding why and would never buy anything at full price if it was for me. However, since moving to the wild West of Scotland I’ve become hooked on online shopping and looking forward to the next delivery. Most of what I’ve bought is for the new house but I have treated myself to a couple of things I would previously have dithered about for months.

Shelbel Wed 01-Dec-21 20:06:13

In my previous marriage money was very tight and I had to be frugal (whilst he was out buying 3 motorbikes). Now happily remarried there is more money available and I buy what I need or want within reason. Hubby doesn't like to spend on himself that much and likes to buy me things. I feel spoilt tbh but I don't have expensive tastes, we are not smokers, we don't drink a lot or spend money on holidays etc (if only at the moment!) It is nice not to be counting every penny.

Yellowmellow Wed 01-Dec-21 20:48:00

After being a single mum and not spending much on myself, I do now. Never spend what I don't have, but it gives me pleasure to treat myself and those around me

M0nica Wed 01-Dec-21 21:38:14

I actually not that clear what spending money on yourself means. Clothes and self-care products are necessities. Some domestic appliances and items for the house are not necessary, but are nice to have or make life easier. I would classify my Kenwood Mixer (50 years old) or airfryer in that category. Both were Christmas prsents, that i put on my list.

What about my car? All my cars have been old bangers, but I indulge myself by choosing them for their colour, idiosyncrancies or are for being at odds wth my persona.

And, of course, spending on yourself can mean spending on others, buying things for children because of the feeling of satisfaction you get when your children have something no one else has. That can apply to spending on other people. You can value the approval of certain groups of people and use being charitable as a way of buying the respect and approval you so desire.

So, exactly what do you mean by spending on yourself?

GagaJo Wed 01-Dec-21 21:41:48

I love buying my DGS things. But he has got a houseful of toys and doesn't need more clothes. I don't want 'stuff' for myself. So. Saves me money, I suppose.

grannyactivist Thu 02-Dec-21 01:11:08

M0nica I mean spending money extravagantly for my own singular benefit - and in this instance it won’t even have a permanent or long-lasting use!

M0nica Thu 02-Dec-21 07:54:16

grannyactivist but you said when it comes to my birthday or Christmas I never know what to say that I 'want'.

Present lists do not necessarily need to contain things that are extravagantly for my own singular benefit. As I said mine may contain household appliances, clothes, things that make life easier (this Christmas, a shopping bag with wheels.). So you can see why I am uncertain about what spending on yourself really means.

Riverwalk Fri 03-Dec-21 08:47:58

Grannyactivist I was intrigued by the idea of fancy liquorice so had a look at their website - supply is now winging its way from Denmark to DS2 in Switzerland.

I'm always on the lookout for novel gifts that will be used or eaten - not even sure if he likes the stuff but generally likes all sweets particularly Haribos, so I'm sure he likes liquorice especially covered in chocolate! smile

sf101 Fri 03-Dec-21 09:28:26

Having spent most of my life on a very tight budget, I am only now beginning to realise I can afford to buy myself some quality items. I saved like mad once the kids left home for my retirement and was able to retire at 62 on a small private pension. I now have just one year left before I can claim the state pension and a tidy amount of savings that I have hardly had to dip into because I am so good at being careful.
I now have to unlearn the habits of a lifetime and start spending cos you can't take it with you!

MayBeMaw Fri 03-Dec-21 09:46:04

After a lifetime being careful with money, I have no guilt about spending money on myself!
My winter fuel allowance went on two warm jumpers and a cashmere poncho, based on the principle that they will keep me warm without contributing to global warming hmm

rafichagran Fri 03-Dec-21 10:03:36

I always spend on myself, I have no guilt at all. I love pieces of art, going to coffee shops, eating out, clothes and candles. Mortgage, car and all bills paid, so I can spend on other things including myself.

M0nica Sat 04-Dec-21 09:18:25

My personal expenditure has risen (and fallen) with available income. Any decisions to indulge, or not, have been dictated by that. In the early days of family formation an indulgence would be a magazine, packet of liquorice allsorts and an afternoon to myself. Now I buy several magazines each month and haven't eaten a liquorice allsort in years.

I really sympathise with sf101 about learning to spend after many years of being careful. I had an uncle, who grew up in poverty but whose academic ability got him into the Civil Service where he reached a senior level. He never ever lost the frugality and, almost, miserliness, necessary in his youth. he could be generous to anyone he though tneeded help, but wouldn't spend a penny on himself. His clothes came from charity shops, the house was always freezing and he could never enjoy eating out. he and his wife were childless and a very worthwile charity inherited a lot of money when he died, but i always thought it so sad he, himself could never enjoy the fruits of his labours.

jeanie99 Mon 27-Dec-21 23:42:22

If you can afford something and you would love to have it, buy it.
Why not, life is for living, we earn our money, why not treat yourself.