Power of attorney query

I was in a similar position.
You apply for a deputyship through the Court of Protection.
I did the form myself rather than paying a lawyer £800.
It took me a couple of days, it’s not easy but perfectly doable if you take it in bite size chunks.
It took about 3 months to come through and made my life a lot easier.
You do not become liable for anything it just gives control.
I think you should get this in place should your Uncle lose capacity too.

i recommend an appointment with your nearest Citizen's Advice Bureau. This is the kind of issue they frequently have to untangle. Alternatively, Age Concern have advisers who can help you through this maze.

Going to the CAB for advice is definitely a good place to start, but you may find that you will end up having to consult a solicitor. These things can be incredibly complicated. I went through it all with my own mother and my husband is now going through it with his parents.

As your father no longer has capacity you can no longer apply for POA or LPA, but would have to go through the Court of Protection if you wanted to take control of your father's finances. The one thing I would strongly advise is not to let the care home persuade you to act as guarantor, they have no legal right to do that and you could end up seriously in debt. Other than that, as others have advised, seek professional help.

Just to emphasise.. you are not responsible for your fathers care home costs.. they will get their money from his estate .. in time.
Under no circumstances agree to be guarantor.. it is dimpky mot necessary.

Sago and Caramme are correct. Your father is now mentally incapable of granting a power of attorney so getting deputyship is the way to go. You can do it yourself online as Sago says. I see no point in consulting Citizens Advice.
Do not agree to be guarantor for your father’s fees. You are not liable for them - becoming a guarantor would make you liable. This sort of action by care homes is despicable.

Do not act as guarantor.Care home should not have asked you. Protect yourself.

You may find this helpful Maybelline.
www.gov.uk/become-deputy

This is actually really helpful to me too. My husband has POA for both his parents, who are now in a nursing home. The home has provided him with forms to fill in, which ask him to act as guarantor. Right away that rang alarm bells with me and I told him to be extremely wary of signing anything along those lines - and this thread has confirmed my concerns. I know I certainly didn't have to do anything like that for my late mother, although that was a few years ago now. So thank you ladies, that has helped us enormously. I hope this thread also proves useful to the OP.

I should add the cost to me was about £400 with an annual audit charge of £60.
I think I claimed this out of my mothers estate.

Hi everyone. Thank you all so much. It’s been really helpful.

Liz

Do not agree to be a guarantor, no matter how much pressure they put on you, how ever much they try and emotionally blackmail. Just stand there and say No, No, No, No. Refuse even to discuss the issue.

I have been subject to the kind of pressure put on people from all sources when dealing with a situation like this. Just say NO, end of discussion.

You cannot get POA anyway as your dad has lost mental capacity. You would need to go to Court of Protection

You absolutely must not agree to be a guarantor. Get legal advice and go from there

So sorry you are dealing with this; I know how hard it is

It has to be the Court of Protection if mental capacity is absent. Do not agree to be a guarantor - there is no legal obligation to become one.

Just one question out of curiosity really. Are you allowed to go to the court for deputyship if the elderly person is of sound mind? If so, it sounds like it may be a simpler and cheaper process than Power of Attorney. Also, would it possibly be a feasible idea to have a “wait and see” approach. Do nothing until the person becomes mentally incapacitated, then go for deputyship. After all many people die while still being of sound mind which means POA is never required.

No. The person has to lack mental capacity. If they have capacity the correct thing is for them to grant power of attorney. If you do nothing and wait until the person has become incapable of managing their affairs (which could happen in an instant due to, say, a stroke) there will be a delay before deputyship is obtained during which time all manner of difficulties may arise as their money can’t be accessed. Gambling with someone’s wellbeing in this way is not to be recommended.

Thank you very much GSM. That has clarified it for me.

As next of kin, I pleaded with my late mother to organise POA, she went to her solicitor and told her that I was coercive and wanted access to her funds.
(I found the letter from the solicitor to my mother stating this)
As a result the solicitor advised her not to proceed, my mother didn’t think to put someone else forward.

9 months later after a severe urine infection my mother lost capacity.
I found her a nursing home and arranged for fees to be deferred, however there was a mix up and the local council ended up pursuing me for £35,000!

Her 4 bedroom house was haemorrhaging money, I couldn’t do a thing, every time I went to clear and maintain I had to have someone with me as I really had no right to be there and she had told friends and neighbours that I stole from her.

On top of running a business, my own home and hers dealing with my mothers affairs became hugely stressful.
One day I got a final demand of nearly 40k from the council in the post along with a letter telling me her nursing home was closing, I had a my first ever panic attack.

I was awaiting deputyship to come through , my husband had managed to sort the nursing home arrears and got the council to admit they had not put the deferred payment plan in force.despite having all the paperwork.

In this time I was pretending to be my mother on the phone to try and stop bills such as Sky, every kitchen appliance that was insured (£240 a month) all the charities she had signed up to, broadband etc.

Eventually I got deputyship and was able to sort the finances then sell her house, I managed a private sale through a neighbour but unfortunately she was a bent solicitor who spun it out for months then demanded I pay her £3,500 toward the cost of rewiring and some pointing, she was going to get a mortgage for the full amount and pocket the cash.
My solicitor advised to give her a 72 hour deadline for the agreed amount but to be prepared to lose the sale.
I called her gave her the ultimatum and reiterated that I would not be prepared to pay her a bean, she paid up!

The organisations I had to deal with, COP, Adult Services, Council tax, HMRC NS&I etc were all dreadful with the exception of HSBC who went above and beyond, they were so kind.

I cleared the house alone over a two week period, it was cathartic, I hated the house and all the unhappy memories it held, I didn’t want anyone else there with me.

The week I sold the house and breathed a sigh of relief Covid hit.
The one advantage was I didn’t have to visit my mother and
the first glorious weeks of lockdown gave me the much needed time to heal, I really believe that if I had had to continue to work I may have had a breakdown.

My mother was a nasty woman with severe NDP, however if she had just done the one thing and organised POA then she would have made mine and my husbands life so much easier.

She died in June 2020, if I told you the story of the parish priest and the funeral, I really don’t think you would believe me!
She was the gift that kept on giving!

Please, please make sure you have given POA and made a will.
To not do this is selfish behaviour.

We should all do this. It saves our loved ones from going through what you did - which is by no means untypical when suddenly dropped into that situation - and it gives peace of mind that your affairs are in order.

DH and I have just done our POA’s on line via the Government website. It was relatively easy and far cheaper than using a solicitor.

Next is our wills, definitely using a local solicitor as they will be rather complicated.

Me and DH have done our wills and POA this year. Having big problems with my elder daughter my youngest and her partner who we trust completely are now our two designated people named to act for us. I have also got myself and DH a book each which will give them all the contacts for everything eg Energy company, Sky, passwords for websites etc. These books also contain pages where you can write all your wishes for after you have passed such as what you want writing on any social media sites to your contacts. Well worth while thinking about.

I hope you’ve registered the PoAs too, so they can be used immediately that becomes necessary - which I hope it won’t.

Germanshepherdsmum

I hope you’ve registered the PoAs too, so they can be used immediately that becomes necessary - which I hope it won’t.

If you mean me Germanshephersmum, yes. We did ours with a solicitor and it's on it's way to the Office of Public Guardianship to be registered.

No, sorry, I meant GG, whose post was the latest when I was writing. A solicitor will always advise doing it straight away, but perhaps sometimes people do them online and don’t follow through to registration as it’s an extra cost - I don’t know as we too used a solicitor.