Spend or save

Will you need work done on your house one day? Will you need to replace an appliance which stops working? Or a car? Might one of you one day want a medical procedure carried out privately? Might one of you need to go into a care home and would rather choose something nicer than the local authority will pay for? The list of things for which you need savings is endless.

But you must enjoy yourselves now. Inevitably you spend less as you get older because your physical abilities decline. I’d make sure I’ve budgeted for necessary things like household maintenance, save some, but also enjoy yourselves now. Life is short, it can be changed or lost in an instant, and money in the bank is no good when you’re dead.

We have savings plus our pensions - state and private. OH has constructed a spreadsheet with everything on it! Once a month I do our accounts and he updates the spreadsheet. He has allowed for things like new cars. We have reasonable holidays and OH’s two main hobbies are not cheap. Beehives! Neither of us have BUPA anymore as it was getting ridiculously expensive. OH has paid for two hernia operations privately and to see a specialist in Lyme disease. I paid for a tooth extraction as the waiting time on the NHS was 18 months. As people say, we can’t take it with us but we’re not extravagant. Our three children will inherit the house and any money left in the pot.

The perfect balance.

I keep a certain amount in savings for all the reasons already mentioned. Anything in excess I will spend on all the things I enjoy doing.

I would not be happy if my OH wanted to spend a large percentage of our savings on his hobby, I would rather we spent it on something that was beneficial to both of us. In fact we have done just that recently having to spend a big part of our savings on an operation privately for for Mr J. We could no longer wait for the NHS due to the deterioration in his health. I feel that this choice will benefit both of us and was the right way for us to spend our money. Not for everyone I know but absolutely right for us.

Save or spend is the proverbial, how long is a piece of string!

We have to enjoy life now without spending every penny we have - and it depends on your regular income from pensions and investments.

What is his hobby that's could take up a large percentage of your savings?

How about when/if you need care? How do you plan to pay for it?

You are only 70 years old - lots of years to come

Keep in mind though that only 4% of over 65s, and 15% of over 85s go into care. Your home would be sold to recoup the costs if that happens to you, so you don’t need to save large amounts for it as well. You are more likely to need care support at home if you live to a very old age, so you do need to financially plan for that so you can live at home as long as possible.

OP said they were in their 70s, which could mean anything from 70 to 79. Obviously it’s ideal if your income can provide a decent standard of living and some treats, as well as topping up the pot for the unexpected. But we don’t actually have any idea of how well off they are, what their respective incomes are, how much they or each of them have in savings - nor should we - so apart from answering the question as to what we should consider saving for, there’s not a lot to be said. I suspect this is really about how much the husband is spending, but we can’t say if it’s unfair or unaffordable or leaving them vulnerable.

This is a dilemma I have been facing.
My H was a careful spender but we were very generous with our two children, over generous in fact.
He died 4 years ago and I have a reasonable pension income but I also have savings.
I am now 86 and am deciding how much to spend on just me.
There is a house to inherit so they will not be left without.

It is a difficult one, none of us know how long we are going to be around for or how much money we will need. Some hobbies can be expensive, joining a golf club for example but if it’s something you enjoy and can afford why not. I wonder what the hobby is, if it’s something like collecting classic cars then that could be very expensive!
Things can go expensively wrong with houses, cars, pets, health etc so you just never know what you may have to fork out for, even a trip to the dentist can cost hundreds of £’s. That’s said, life is for living and we all want to try & enjoy ourselves while we’re here.

I think if you have been careful all your life as we have done it is hard to suddenly start spending.
We are trying to spend a little more on fun things as we have more than enough for future eventualities.

I think you should have a think about leaving an amount as a safety net

Then.... Then you have a think about whether it is fair for husband to use a large chunk for his hobby rather than something that benefits you both

It is a joint hobby but I wouldn’t spend so much. He does work hard and also has to help with the cooking - arthritis and knives don’t go together, so deserves relaxation. As dragonfly46 says having struggled for so long it is difficult to start spending. It is not enough to cover care home costs. Not worried about leaving our children anything as they are better off than us!

Then the answer is to compromise, find something cheaper but still fun

dragonfly46

I think if you have been careful all your life as we have done it is hard to suddenly start spending.
We are trying to spend a little more on fun things as we have more than enough for future eventualities.

Pretty much how I feel.
A friend of my husband’s has treated himself to many hobby things and also a very posh new car and paid £15,000 for a hip replacement. That’s after being very frugal all his life.
He says “I don’t want to be the richest man in the graveyard.” 🤣

Unless a house is in a trust, it may not be possible for it to be inherited, as it could be needed to be sold to pay for residential care.

I am pleased that I spent my savings on travelling and helping my grand children? Now that I am very old and housebound what would be the good of money in the bank.
I will refuse to go into a care home as long as I can pay for home help.

It is a joint hobby but I wouldn’t spend so much. you say.

Why not? What is it that makes you not want to spend on something you both enjoy?

Maybe examine why you feel like this - and then discuss with your husband?
I think if you ask yourself "why?" you may be closer to an answer.

It’s about a balance - of course one should ideally have some savings for the proverbial rainy day - but life is definitely for living! My financial advisor recommended that my last cheque should bounce!

We struggled financially at the time when we had small children, we managed through mr working at a few jobs I really didn’t enjoy. We’ve been able to do more for our children - including paying university fees and guaranteeing rent so they could live in decent accommodation, and it’s been a pleasure to see them fulfilling their ambitions and getting on in life, as many younger people we know would love to have settled accommodation.

When we downsized and retired here we split all savings/money from the sale of our larger house 50/50. We have a joint account for bills that we both pay a set amount into each month and our own personal a/c and own savings account. This way each of us can spend our savings on whatever we want. For holidays we pay half each. It works out well for us as I'm a saver and OH is a spender.

Re care home costs. Once you have over £23,500 savings (in england) you pay full amount for care home fees and. ‘Better’ care homes require. ‘Top-up’ from a third party (family). First person, from joint household value of house does not come into equation but 2nd one it does and then it will all go until you are on £23,500 mark. However, supposedly, from 2025 the maximum should be paid into care is just over £85,500 but that has been decided by todays government and we all know about u-turns. It may be a ploy to get the older voters support now. Who knows.