Spend or save

Good, Judy54, sometimes it's the best way.

Yes Callistemon21 I am sure that if both partners needed new knees it would cost about £60,000. In this case it was not a knee operation but something much more complicated. We did what was right for us.

Sorry. Was way too excited to see that you were communicating and had found a way forward... I had been reading a post about how intractable a different problem was - but just wanted to shout "talk about it" and I seem to have sent you a kiss (for effort?) when I wanted to send 💐

Tizliz

Well we have come to a sort of compromise. He is a bit of a hoarder so is selling off things he doesn’t use anymore. He has raised 10% of the money he wants already - just needs to keep the enthusiasm up. Bonus of the house being a bit tidier!

How lovely! SO pleased you have sorted something out.

I hope you have years of fun with your (shared) hobby. X

Thanks Norah not sure what will happen if I ultimately need an op! Thankfully I am fairly fit and need to be to care for Mr J.

Judy54

I would not be happy if my OH wanted to spend a large percentage of our savings on his hobby, I would rather we spent it on something that was beneficial to both of us. In fact we have done just that recently having to spend a big part of our savings on an operation privately for for Mr J. We could no longer wait for the NHS due to the deterioration in his health. I feel that this choice will benefit both of us and was the right way for us to spend our money. Not for everyone I know but absolutely right for us.

Brilliant! Well done you.

We save for what care we may need. Apart that we spend now on our children, GC - providing well for all, whilst we are alive.

Spending mostly on Holidays, medical care, and property.

And always remember "there are no pockets in shrouds" !

Judy54

I would not be happy if my OH wanted to spend a large percentage of our savings on his hobby, I would rather we spent it on something that was beneficial to both of us. In fact we have done just that recently having to spend a big part of our savings on an operation privately for for Mr J. We could no longer wait for the NHS due to the deterioration in his health. I feel that this choice will benefit both of us and was the right way for us to spend our money. Not for everyone I know but absolutely right for us.

If both partners needed new knees that would cost about £60,000 at the moment if both went privately because the waiting lists are so long!

I know full well that council-run care homes charge fees Saggi. I’m sure we all know that. My point was that if you are able to pay for a private care home you have more choice rather than just accepting where social services decide to put you.

Well we have come to a sort of compromise. He is a bit of a hoarder so is selling off things he doesn’t use anymore. He has raised 10% of the money he wants already - just needs to keep the enthusiasm up. Bonus of the house being a bit tidier!

My Aunt needed care and was in a nursing home costing just over £4000 per month, she had to pay for everything as she had her own home. So I would say enjoy your money but keep a bit back for essentials such as replacement appliances, decorating, any necessary building repairs. Can your husband still enjoy his hobby but spend a little less? Less is more they say.

Interesting story about your parents Spaghetti - sounds like they lived those last four years of life to the full

I'm just curious, as to how old they were and did they just make a guess as to how long they would live?

I think many occasionally fantasise about throwing caution to the wind and living the life of Riley before we die, but then you might live much longer and be in penury!

Do you think you don’t pay in a council run homes ‘Germanshepherds mum’…. My husband had to go into full time care last year after my third stroke and increasing arthritis, and his violence toward me (Alzheimers)….we pay near £1000 per month for the privilege , leaving me with bills on a home I can no longer afford….so heating not been on since March…..and trying desperately NOT to spend more than £40 per week on food! Our savings have halved in 12 months. Spend that money Tizliz……cos somebody else will , and you or Mr. Tizliz will end up in next room to somebody who’s never saved but ends up with same treatment in a home anyway.Oh… and my husband was in a private run home ….much worse than his nice council run one….more regulations I presume !! Does anybody still think some care homes are free accommodation!?

knspol - my parents only had four years of retirement. They were self employed and sold everything up and moved to the area they had always loved. They didn't buy but took on a "long term" rental as the house was part of a massive estate so was secure.

They lived very well for those four years - had foreign holidays, outings, visited lots of people, catching up with distant family... and they bought "treats" for themselves and others. They supported charities there and immediately turned their "holiday friends" into full-time ones. They seemed 10 years younger.

I feel really lucky to have enjoyed "watching" them really live life "to the full" as they say, after years of hard work. They were always outgoing and very busy with a strong social life etc but they were mostly careful. There had been some tough years and they really deserved this new and exciting time together.

Some people thought it was reckless not to buy another property (and to live for the day) but i am grateful that they had that time free of worry and free from the constraints of work.

You never know when your time is up.

I am 75

At 70 I wondered why I was saving, next week I am using some of my savings to fast track myself to see a consultant.

Some months ago my neighbour had a bad stroke and is existing at home with the help of 4 pairs of carers a day. It has brought it home to me that old age is needy for help and sometimes that and comfort can only be bought.

My late DH and I have always saved but now ,although I am so very grateful that he has left me without any money worries, I do wonder if we should have spent more money enjoying the life and time we had together. Who can know what's around the corner.

Spend it. If you need care, you'll only end up paying for those who spent all their money if you save it. What's more, you'll have access to better facilities if you end up in a council run dementia homes. You also won't feel quite so betrayed when you've shelled out £6500 per month for care, to find that the lack of it meant you ended up in hospital at death's door and the "safeguarding" investigation was really a white wash.

You're a long time dead, enjoy life whilst you can.

My spending is mainly making this house more comfortable, my DH would happily spend it all on the garden, but my theory is - we live in the house - especially this summer!

We're helping our children financially as much as possible now, whilst keeping enough to live on. This means that none of them have mortgages so are in less difficulty than many young families. They won't inherit much when we die but they need it more now than they will then.

Agree casdon

Hithere

Those % of going into care - are they including family members taking care of them?

Those numbers seem way too low

The figures are right, it’s for people who are in care homes. Far more people are looked after at home either by family, private or state carers. The point of mentioning it was to suggest people didn’t save specifically for going into a care home, but that is prudent to save for care at home.

Meaning, don't posters express surprise how much carers cost?

So do costs truly go down as you age or go up?