Is it best if we get married ?

I think the laws of inheritance are slightly different in Scotland.
And that children have more of a claim ?
As Scottish law is more akin to continental law from the ancient roman civil law.
I may be wrong on this. Just something I remember being taught by Mr Sycamore many years ago.
Yes that really was his name.

Yes to marriage but make sure your wills and expression of wishes are updated as marriage invalidates any previous wills.

DD and her partner had a Civil Partnership ceremony recently after being together for thirty two years. They did it primarily for financial reasons, on the advice of my SiL’s accountant, and it was very informal, but they had vows and it was very touching. They are now Civil Partners in Law. It was a weight off my mind for a number of reasons.

I can’t think why anyone would live with a man and have children both from the woman's and mens view but mostly the children, financially not wise. if you are not certain of each other why have children?
You're not in that position so if you can’t commit but want each other to inherit, have a civil partnership.
Marriage and Civil partnerships save any more distress when one of you dies.

I've been married 28 years, separated for 15 years - we attempted divorce 10 years ago but DH is a narcissist and has to have his own way - no middle ground for him - so we only got as far as selling the house and splitting the profits. 4 years in family court because he wanted to cherry pick days & times weekly but then neglected our daughter in his care. She's 20 now and hasn't spoken to her dad for 4 years. We're still not divorced because he doesn't want to share his pension. He also wants control of me so stays married although I have nothing to do with him.

I can't afford to divorce him so he'll have to sort it, he's a civil servant and I don't think he can retire until he sorts the pension out. Very messy.

petra my husband did that . He died in 2004 aged 47. I got his private pensions but because of his age they where lump sums. They would have been worth more if I had them this year when I got my state pension. Out of his NI contributions he paid for 30 years I get 48p a week of his state pension .

There was a piece on this subject on radio 4 yesterday.
I’m almost certain that they said, if your partner has written a will leaving his pension to you then that is what will happen.

Celieanne86

I don’t know much about the money matters involved and I haven’t asked any questions but I was amazed when my son announced he and his partner were getting married after 35 years together.

They have three children and two grandchildren together and have always they were perfectly content and said a little piece of paper made no difference !

His partner retained her own surname but the children snd g.children have his same as mine.

They had a lovely wedding, register office and a small family lunch afterwards followed by an evening celebration then a lunch with me and his family as I was unable to travel to his actual wedding.

My daughter and I did wonder if there was a reason after such a long time and now it’s got me wondering. Incidentally my new daughter in law announced at the lunch she was taking my son’s name now she was actually Mrs.

Curiouser and curiouser 🤔

Unless you are married, or an iron cast Will made, there is no legal entitlement to any of your live in partners assets. It would pass to their children if spouse is on the birth certificate.
Live in partnerships have no validity in law.

mabon1

Yes BUT my son's partner died, she left this world up to her neck in debt of which my son was unaware, they had separate bank accounts, her statements went to her parents home together with any thing else financial, her money was hers alone, no joint accounts. He paid all the bills. If they had been married he would have been responsible for many thousands . Her next of kin was named as her son 16 years of age, clearly he can't pay as he is still at school. Beware.

It's not true that if they had been married he would have been responsible for her debts. You can't inherit a debt.

If debts are in a person’s sole name and they have no assets, the debts will not be owed by anybody else when they die. It's only if debts are in joint names or someone has acted as a guarantor that the surviving person or guarantor will be liable for the debts.

nationaldebtline.org/get-information/guides/debts-after-death-ew/

Yes to getting married . I remember my parents saying they got married in the March as it was better tax wise this was in 1950. Remember to up date your wills once married .

When a friend was widowed a few years ago she discovered her husband had a credit card which she knew nothing g about. He owed thousands. She wasn’t liable for any of that debt.

Apart from pensions (which can have different rules) you can leave whatever you own outright to anyone you wish, married or not. What IS important is to realise that once you marry all previous wills are null and void and if no new will is made then the laws of intestacy kick in. Nowadays that means that the surviving spouse gets the first £322,000 and half the remainder, while the children get the balance split between them. Depending on the size of the estate this split might do what you want it to, but it may well not.

A friend of mine, divorced for most of his adult life, had made a will making his two children (from his first marriage) the sole beneficiaries of his will. The daughter had a mental illness and difficulty in earning her own living. When he knew he was dying he hastily married his long-term partner who was a wealthy lady in her own right, and did not realise that he needed to make a new will to avoid the laws of intestacy kicking in. As a result the new wife inherited all of his estate (under the limit) and the children nothing at all. I am 100% certain that my friend would not have intended this. After his death the new wife promptly shipped in a new partner to the home she had shared with my friend.

My OH and I have lived together for 24 years in my house, which I’ve lived in for over forty years, initially with my two children - the family home. I own 81% of our home, OH the remaining 19%. I had a devastating first marriage and, although my OH and I get along ok, generally, I really don’t wish to marry a second time. He has suggested a civil partnership. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We each have wills. He has 2 daughters and 2 grandsons. I have 2 children and 4 granddaughters. My OH has investments and we both have private pensions.

DH and I have been together for nearly 17 years and got married 6 years ago. We were quite happy being not married but were advised that it would be more beneficial if we were.
We changed our wills once we were married and hopefully will now live happily for the foreseeable future.

Yes BUT my son's partner died, she left this world up to her neck in debt of which my son was unaware, they had separate bank accounts, her statements went to her parents home together with any thing else financial, her money was hers alone, no joint accounts. He paid all the bills. If they had been married he would have been responsible for many thousands . Her next of kin was named as her son 16 years of age, clearly he can't pay as he is still at school. Beware.

Hurry up and post the banns, dear lady!

If you don't marry, whichever one of you is widowed, can neither decide where or how your partner should be buried, cremated, inherit anything from him/ her, nor decide if your beloved is unable to make decision him/ herself in the final phase of existance what should or should not be done.

And open separate bank accounts while you are about tidying up your affairs and write your wills!

I have friends who live "separately" in their house. They agreed they wanted to be separate but for tax purposes have remained married.

Very rich friend went off one day, and married her partner. When I asked if it was for tax planning, she said yes! I believe that unlike marriage where it is assumed that everything goes to the spouse, unless there is a will saying otherwise, you have to make a will if you only have a civil partnership.

My DH and I got married after living together for 19 years. The motive was purely financial, as at the time pensions and investments were not automatically passed to the partner.
At the age of 66 I am secure in the knowledge that I made the right decision We have POA's in place and wills, so our families will have less hassle to go through when ee snuff it.
Meg.

I don’t know much about the money matters involved and I haven’t asked any questions but I was amazed when my son announced he and his partner were getting married after 35 years together.

They have three children and two grandchildren together and have always they were perfectly content and said a little piece of paper made no difference !

His partner retained her own surname but the children snd g.children have his same as mine.

They had a lovely wedding, register office and a small family lunch afterwards followed by an evening celebration then a lunch with me and his family as I was unable to travel to his actual wedding.

My daughter and I did wonder if there was a reason after such a long time and now it’s got me wondering. Incidentally my new daughter in law announced at the lunch she was taking my son’s name now she was actually Mrs.

Curiouser and curiouser 🤔

Usedtobeblonde

My friend and neighbour lived with her partner for 25 years and when he died his SP and occupational pension died with him.
She just gets a reduced SP, I don’t know why.
There was a house and savings but she had to downsize considerably to reduce outgoings and give her more capital to live on.
She very much regrets not marrying.

All spouses widow/widower occupation pensions are usually reduced amounts because the pension is continued for the duration of the second life. It is sometimes further reduced if the widow or widower is much younger than the pensioner.. Some pension scheme do recognise long term partners as named beneficiaries and will pay out a reduced spouses pension even if not married.. Others only recognised lawfully married spouses to a reduced spouses pension
although the marriage can be recent.

It is generally better to be married before ones partner dies but it doesn't necessarily mean that the remaining spouse will continue to draw their spouses full pension. It is always best for their to be separate pensions for each person.

A friend of mine has been with her partner well over 40 years. No children. She said they didn’t need a piece of paper to prove their commitment to each other.

Several times myself and others told her what we had read about losing out if you are not married or not a civil partner. Finally a few months ago they signed up for a civil partnership. No fuss, just did it. Recently she had a birthday and received a card from him with “to my wife” on the front. She says it’s just the same as being married but I don’t see that myself and I still don’t get why they didn’t just get married.

My friend and neighbour lived with her partner for 25 years and when he died his SP and occupational pension died with him.
She just gets a reduced SP, I don’t know why.
There was a house and savings but she had to downsize considerably to reduce outgoings and give her more capital to live on.
She very much regrets not marrying.

Thanks are all advice .

The reason why I suggested Labour party is because up until 2027 pension pots were not included in assets for inheritance tax so his will was under that amount , include the pension and it's over for the unmarried / or those not directly related.
As I said we are together 25+ years and didn't overly feel the need to marry but this has given us more of a need to = unromantic .