Power of Attorney worries,advice please

There is something called a Living Will in which you can give your wishes for health decisions should you become incapacitated. You might might need a solicitors advice to write it but it’s your decisions that will included including a DNR in certain circumstances should you wish.

Thank you,tanith. I am more worried about surviving and not being able to manage daily financial decisions etc

Would you trust a friend's child enough?
I am slightly squirming myself at writing that.

fancythat

Would you trust a friend's child enough?
I am slightly squirming myself at writing that.

I was just about to ask if you had a relationship with any of your friends’ children?

When i spoke to a solicitor, he said that everyone who has been granted power of attorney will probably need to consult a solicitor anyway.

Unfortunately I don't have friends with children able to help.
Has anyone heard of qualified solicitors known as Lifetime Lawyers ?

Not sure how friends' children would feel about taking on such a responsibility, having borne it myself for my late mother and stepfather. It's a big ask.

bookwormbabe

Not sure how friends' children would feel about taking on such a responsibility, having borne it myself for my late mother and stepfather. It's a big ask.

Well you would ask them wouldn’t you And you’d only do that if you felt your relationship with them would mean you could have the conversation

Can I ask OP who are you leaving any assets to?

Could you put your questions into AI and see what info it comes up with? It must trawl all the legal sites. Of course read with care.

I completely agree bookwormbabe.Too much to expect of anyone .

avitorl

I completely agree bookwormbabe.Too much to expect of anyone .

It really isn’t, it all depends on the circumstances and the quality of the relationship.

I think if I were me, I'd feel more comfortable using a solicitor. I wouldn't want to give that responsibility to anyone other than a close family member.

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Be VERY CAREFUL...ive just been through the most dreadful 3 years of my life. Long story short, I live 200 miles away from mum 96, only relative nearby was a grand daughter, she set up a POA online, only found out 3 years later, stole £100.000, fraud department didn't want to know, safe guarding office didn't want to know, I'm a pensioner, I couldn't afford a solicitor, she put mum in a care home, mums worst nightmare, i wanted her to live with me, my neice wouldn't let her, she died 6 mths ago, paid 1600 A WEEK to be unhappy at the end...BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO

MissAdventure

When i spoke to a solicitor, he said that everyone who has been granted power of attorney will probably need to consult a solicitor anyway.

Of course he would say that!!! Total rubbish.

The Powers of Attorney are easy to follow legal documents. Did both of those by myself, just downloaded from the web, and followed the very extensive advice given on completing them.
They sit alongside my will (also done by myself).
No need for Solicitors either to draw any of these up or to use them.
I am fortunate that my children are happy to take on these responsibilities when necessary, so I have no problems.

For the OP, perhaps they should have a chat with their local Age Concern who may have some ideas as how they should proceed.

I'm sad to hear that you've no one to turn to for this. I would advise you to use a solicitor, do a Google search for your area.

Age uk - offer support through our free Advice Line. Lines are open 8am-7pm, 365 days a year. We also have specialist advisers at over 120 local Age UKs. You can contact us on 0800 678 1602.

Please take advise on who you could use. Someone totally independent such as Age UK, or even ask you MP who they would suggest. Solicitors are costly and would obviously suggest you use them.
I am sorry that you are in this situation

Reading this has just triggered me to think again about doing my POA. I’ve had the forms for a long time but it’s difficult getting my two children in the same place for long enough to fill forms in with them there.
I’ve heard it’s easier doing it online as you get prompts to help. The problem is that there are a lot of pages to be printed but I don’t have a printer. Would it be worth buying a printer just to do this ?
Third option is to use a solicitor but I guess you still need to pin down adult children to be together to sign the forms.
I’ve dithered for too long and done nothing but feel guilty and must get them done soon.
Advice please if you have already done it and how you found it. Thank you

Did ours on line. First print children signed incorrectly - must state all given names. Reprinted, posted to them and returned by recorded delivery. Now submitted by recorded post, acknowledged in process.
Done the financial one first, health one next. Best advice based on our experience is to take your time, check & double check. Can you print at your local library?

Get a Solicitor. I have..
Then your are not worrying about relatives not wanting to be be involved or dying off before you do.

Takes them completely out of the equation and gives you more power and independence. Put yourself first.

Pippa22

Reading this has just triggered me to think again about doing my POA. I’ve had the forms for a long time but it’s difficult getting my two children in the same place for long enough to fill forms in with them there.
I’ve heard it’s easier doing it online as you get prompts to help. The problem is that there are a lot of pages to be printed but I don’t have a printer. Would it be worth buying a printer just to do this ?
Third option is to use a solicitor but I guess you still need to pin down adult children to be together to sign the forms.
I’ve dithered for too long and done nothing but feel guilty and must get them done soon.
Advice please if you have already done it and how you found it. Thank you

Pippa22 you and your children don't need to be together to do the signing. There is a specific order in which different parts have to be signed but that is all. If I remember correctly some signatures have to be witnessed.
It really is easy if you take your time.
I'm not sure what to advise about the printer - possibly you could get the blank pages printed elsewhere eg a library then fill them in. That would be cheaper than buying a new printer if you don't need one for other things

Pippa22

Reading this has just triggered me to think again about doing my POA. I’ve had the forms for a long time but it’s difficult getting my two children in the same place for long enough to fill forms in with them there.
I’ve heard it’s easier doing it online as you get prompts to help. The problem is that there are a lot of pages to be printed but I don’t have a printer. Would it be worth buying a printer just to do this ?
Third option is to use a solicitor but I guess you still need to pin down adult children to be together to sign the forms.
I’ve dithered for too long and done nothing but feel guilty and must get them done soon.
Advice please if you have already done it and how you found it. Thank you

Have either of your children got a printer, or access to one? You could them get them to print the blank forms off for you all to look at and then complete when you are ready.
I do need to take my own advice though! I have started mine on line but not yet printed and signed etc.

If you have a Will, naming an adult person you know, as your beneficiary, you must be expecting them to outlive you.

Can you ask them to hold POA?

Alternatively, if you have a couple of same-age-as-you trusted friends and relatives, you can appoint a number of POAS so that if one dies or needs to be excused, the other is ready. This is very normal.

DH and I currently hold LPOA for each other , but because eventually one or both will be "unable" we have also appointed two sons as backups . Our lawyer recommended it.

Without a POA especially for property and finances in place, if you lose mental capacity, which can happen suddenly, for example after a stroke, your bank account is frozen (even in the case of joint account holders)
It can be a costly and lengthy business then for someone to apply as a deputy, to the Court of Protection to act for you. It is better to appoint a local solicitor, if you do not have anyone else to trust to do so.
My MIL wouldn’t agree to POA and then developed dementia, and DH had a really expensive, stressful time dealing with Court of Protection.