Lending/gifting money to children

What a *** cheek!

My reply would be "what makes you think that our assets should now become your assets? And by the way, thanks for enquiring about my health!!"

Itsa shame they don't spend time working out their own finances instead of yours.

You really do need to firmly tell them no, so they're left in no doubt that there's no more discussions to be had.

Hearing that you're just getting over cancer makes it all the more insensitive and greedy, to say the least.

No way would ever give up my "home" and investments and nobody else should either.

Other investments or property that are likely to attract IHT it's your choice, many do give away extra wealth but not the home.

I don’t think cheek, even bare-faced comes close! I’m sorry you’re upset and probably now trying to understand what they see you as - an open purse?
I’d think seriously about giving your daughter PoAs at some point.

Think of yourself, try to put this in its box and continue to recover.

Thank you so much for all your lovely support and comments, everyone!

Sorry, you were faced with that on top of recovering from cancer.
Sounds to me as if they’ve been getting ideas from the endless stream of AI stories about children deciding their parents will soon be incapable and that the children should take over their property and finances.
It would be a “no” from me.

I love donkeys Pigma....a good option. You could put yourselves in a very difficult financial position. And lessen the enjoyable things you might want to do. A heartless comment at a vulnerable time for you.
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It seems that some people are in a position to financially support their adult children so it has now become an expectation from an entitled generation.
So sorry you were met with this request. It must have been very upsetting. I’m not surprised you were lost for words. Now you are home you can write a firm reply, saying No.

As well as being an absolute cheek, it assumes you have money to spare. Perhaps you should turn the tables and say you are struggling and looking to them to help you out!

And yes, if you need to pay for care costs and have given away your home this is deprivation of assets and you would be treated as if you still had them ie get no help with care costs.

No, but thank you for asking.

Rinse repeat.

The cheek...

Be a Big Fat No from me, especially since they asked.

Dear god the cheeky bugger. Tell him to get lost.

Bl**dy Cheek !!!!

What an outrageous suggestion.
I bet you were rendered speechless that your daughter and her husband would even consider this a reasonable thing to ask of you.

Whatever you do don’t even agree to think about what they want you to do.

Honestly just when I thought I had heard everything on here about selfish entitled grown up offspring, along comes another .

That is outrageous. They need to be content with the home they have while they work for something better. Why should you incur the cost of renting or sell your home? As another poster suggested, just tell them you're on a low income and can't afford to rent or take on a mortgage, and have no wish to sell your home. Hold onto your savings too. You'll need them in future.

What a cheek your son in law has even suggesting it.

Surely the son-in-law wouldn't have raised this without his wife's agreement? I'm not sure it's fair to put it all on him.
Neli's daughter has already tried to introduce the topic.

NotSpaghetti

Surely the son-in-law wouldn't have raised this without his wife's agreement? I'm not sure it's fair to put it all on him.
Neli's daughter has already tried to introduce the topic.

Well he certainly shouldn't have raised it with or without telling his wife, it's not as if they needed the money, it was a very clumsy get rich quick scam.

If his wife really didn't know he's got a lot of humble pie to eat.

Nelli123, as with the others here, I am appalled by the behaviour of your SIL, especially after you have been through such a difficult time.
You have achieved that rare thing on GN- complete consensus.
Your house/ money/ possessions are yours, and your partners. You have spent your time, money, and energy raising your DD to adulthood. Any time, money, or energy expended thereafter is a bonus to them.
Such impertinent expectations by offspring would drive me, too, to investigate donkey sanctuaries and , possibly unkindly, purchase a calendar from the charity as a Christmas gift to the family to indicate my support for the organisation.

Oh Nelli123. This beggars belief. What a thing to ask you just as he’s picked you up and especially as you have been so unwell. Of course you should say no for the reasons given here. I should certainly talk to your daughter and tell her how upset you are by this request, especially from him and not her. I imagine that she (not him) will inherit your house in your will or does your parter have children too? If so, something to consider is that, should your daughter pre- disease him, he would then inherit everything. He certainly doesn’t deserve that now so please make arrangements in your will to ensure that it doesn’t happen. A solicitor will advise you.

Have you replied to your DD and SIL yet? If I were you I wouldn't mention it again unless they do and then say you thought they were joking and of course you don't want to move house. Then move on to another subject. Try not to dwell on it but just think of it as a stupid, immature, ill thought through request and try not to be hurt by it.

mumofmadboys

Have you replied to your DD and SIL yet? If I were you I wouldn't mention it again unless they do and then say you thought they were joking and of course you don't want to move house. Then move on to another subject. Try not to dwell on it but just think of it as a stupid, immature, ill thought through request and try not to be hurt by it.

Thats probably what I would do if daughter knew nothing of the scheme.

This is awful Nelli123, please be on your guard for any other offers to 'free up cash' for them. I would have a heart to heart with your daughter to see just how this idea has come about, as she surely cannot support his disregard for your wellbeing. Take care.

This is terrible!

I would have to say something to my duaghter to find out if she was aware of what her husband was going to say. She might have even told him to say it on the car journey without her there to "sound you out."

What selfish people. Mid-sixties isn't even that old! Why would you want to be saddled with rent or mortgage repayments when you are currently free of this?

You and your husband could go on for another 20-30 years, and they want to take your home away!!

My money my decisions like it or lump it!

I have not raised the issue with them, partly because I wanted to have a nice happy stay at their house and enjoy the company of the grandkids and my daughter. Having a quarrel or even a "discussion" was the last thing I wanted. I think I will just leave it for now, and if they raise the matter again, my partner will tell them a big fat NO. They will be visiting us next month so we shall see.

My partner doesn't have children of his own and my daughter will inherit him once we've both gone, but indeed that could be another 20-30 years. And to expect him to just give away his own assets now would be unfair to say the least. He saved hard to buy his own flat in London when he was still single, and the proceeds of the sale were enough to buy our current little home outside London.