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Legal & money

Son looking for money.

(86 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Tue 14-Jul-20 18:48:22

My son has helped me look after my money so he knows I have still cash from an inheritance. However I don't have a work pension so don't have more coming in. He knows I gave other son help when he got married so now he has asked for quite a large sum to buy a rental as an investment.I feel I can't refuse but worry about the future.

Lucca Tue 14-Jul-20 18:50:41

Just say no? Explain why. Maybe this rental investment could be a shared investment though

Nonogran Tue 14-Jul-20 20:32:45

Hello K2000,
Why not, if you feel you can afford it, give your son exactly the same as you've previously given his brother? Explain your worries about your future & hopefully he'll understand. He can only have what you're willing to give anyway, so stand firm. You could legally make it a loan to be paid back? Take advice on that.
Alternatively, on the premise it's to be a rental place, why not buy the property as Tenants in Common. You would then be entitled to a percentage share of the rent which might be helpful to you? IF however the house is for him to live in, it will presumably increase in value which I suppose would not be fair on his sibling whose money was spent differently.
I gifted my only child a generous unsolicited contribution to her first home just before I retired. However, I made it clear to her "That's it because I'm shortly to retire." She completely understood & was thrilled to bits!

janeainsworth Tue 14-Jul-20 20:33:40

There is only one question really and that is, can you afford to give away any of your capital, or, as Lucca suggests, jointly invest in a property with your son.

If the answer is no, then you’ll have to explain this to your son, and perhaps also explain why you gave money to your other son, and not to him.

You don’t say whether this capital that you have is invested & providing some income for you, or just sitting somewhere doing nothing. But if you do decide on a joint property venture with your son, you need to work out carefully the risks involved and the likely return on your capital.
Depending on the sum involved, it might be wise to talk to a financial advisor.

JuliaM Wed 15-Jul-20 09:17:29

There are also tax implications for your son should you have the misfortune to pass away within 7years of him receiving the gift, he would then be liable to pay a lump sum back to the inland revenue upon your death. Likewise, if you were joint owner of this rental property with him as Tenants in common, there may be other legal implications if and when this asset became part of your estate and had to be delt with during probate, or taken into consideration should you eventually need to fund any care costs for yourself, either in the community or towards care home fees. I would strongly advise you to seek proffesional legal and financial advice before agreeing to such a request.

Floradora9 Wed 15-Jul-20 15:54:58

Only tax implications if you leave over the inheritance tax limit. It is over £30000.00 now

welbeck Wed 15-Jul-20 16:14:55

most people who own a house or flat are over the limit for IHT.
so i don't see the point of a pp, who says about the 7 yr period.
presumably your son would be one of yr beneficiaries, so whether the tax was payable by him on money given, or on the totality of yr estate, it would still diminish the value of the inheritance. if you see what i mean. i suppose he might have to pay more, if within 7yr, than would be loss of a share of total estate. i know what i mean. can't seem to express it.
anyway, it's all hypothetical.
you need your money to live on now. keep it.
he is looking to increase his wealth through an extra income stream, and capital asset. that's a luxury.
you are in the position of needing to pay for necessities.
that trumps any financial acquisitiveness of his.
i bet he has enough to live on.

Cabbie21 Wed 15-Jul-20 21:23:08

Have you got enough to live on? Are you still working, or living on your State Pension? Do you get or might you be entitled to Pension Credit? If so, this is means- tested and if you have given away your savings you will be considered as still having the money when being assessed,.
Giving away money whilst in receipt of benefits, or in the hope of being entitled to PC is counted as Deprivation of Assets.

Humbertbear Thu 16-Jul-20 07:25:42

Investments are for people who have money lying about. Your son clearly doesn’t have spare money. Your answer should be no.

JennyNotFromTheBlock Thu 16-Jul-20 07:33:52

Well, if you have enough money to live on then you can give him the exact amount of money that you gave his brother. But if you don't feel like it, it's your right to refuse. You don't have to give him money, after all, it's your free will.

kircubbin2000 Thu 16-Jul-20 08:18:19

I think I might lend it to him.He has no savings and is in a worse position than my other children so he needs something for the future.

Buttonjugs Thu 16-Jul-20 08:47:22

Don’t gift or lend it, you won’t get it back. He doesn’t sound like someone who is good with money. I lent my son a largish sum to pay off his debts. He promptly went on to acquire even more debt and I doubt I will ever see my money again, even though I explained it was earmarked to be put into a new business venture. You need to look after your own financial security first and foremost.

Jess20 Thu 16-Jul-20 08:49:47

Do be fair to your children, if the gift to the first was a wedding present then you need to be clear to son number two that this gift/loan is in lieu of a future wedding present. Nothing worse for a child than to feel the parent favours one more than the other.

Sys2ad2 Thu 16-Jul-20 08:50:00

You should never have let him help with your finances then he would not know if you do not have a pension then i suggest you say no it's your money. Just because you gave to his brother doesn't mean you have to give him any. Is he working ? if not then say get a job and if he is then tell him to save up so i think you should just say no.

SylviaPlathssister Thu 16-Jul-20 08:50:43

Kirkcubbin you have to think of your future. If you need to go into a nursing home the Social services are in the UK are quite ruthless, but luckily not very efficient.
The first thing they will ask is ‘ have you got a house’ if you have they will put a charge against it. They can’t sell it if there is someone over 60 in it. But they will sell it when you die to recoup payments for your care.
If you need money in the future will your son be so willing to give you money and will he have the wherewithal. ? The SS may ask him to pay you back.
There is quite a lot to think about.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to give children a large amount of money unless you don’t need it and don’t expect it back ever.

Suzey Thu 16-Jul-20 08:53:13

If you don't need it and it won't leave you skint give it to him

CarlyD7 Thu 16-Jul-20 08:54:42

"I feel I can't refuse". Errr .. yes you can refuse and must for the time being, to buy you time - time to have a session with a financial adviser and sort out your finances independent of your son - he knows far too much! Then look at getting advice from someone like Age UK. Work out how much you will need to invest to give you an income to live on - it will be much more than you think. Could you really live on the state pension? As others have said, if you give away your savings you won't be able to claim benefits like Pension Credit. If you decide to loan him the money, you must draw up a legal document and have it signed and witnessed (it will be proof that it was a loan and not a gift if you need any benefits in the future). Before you say Yes, you really must sort out if you have enough to live on. Please don't be emotionally blackmailed into this - you need to ensure your own position first; then you will be in a better position to help him later on. (BTW because of changes in the law, buy to let is not the money maker it used to be so make sure he's checked all that out too). Does he have a job? Is it low paid? Maybe money to help him retrain would be more useful?

Esspee Thu 16-Jul-20 08:57:10

How many children do you have?
Frankly I wouldn’t give more to one than the others as it fuels resentment.

polnan Thu 16-Jul-20 09:01:36

I have two grown sons, 50 ish. one has children one does not (not a choice)

we helped the younger one, not with huge lump sums, and now help the other one, again not lump sums

neither one of them has asked to be "treated the same"
not a concept in our household, but help as and where we can and when needed..

50ShadesofGreyMatter Thu 16-Jul-20 09:01:46

Sounds like you feel emotionally blackmailed. Remove him from anything to do with your finances, say it's not possible to give him money at present and that things will be evened out in your will. Do not feel the need to explain yourself to him.

Sugarpufffairy Thu 16-Jul-20 09:02:28

The difference I see is that the other son was given money as your choice. This son is demanding money! There is a subtle difference. This son has done nothing to advance himself in life by the looks of it. He does not look like a good bet. Make sure you have enough money for your needs first. We do not know what is going to happen in the future so work it out from the most expensive scenario

NotSpaghetti Thu 16-Jul-20 09:09:55

Does this son have a house of his own?

You say he wants it as in "investment" - but is this an investment for you? I ask this as you say he helps you with your money..

Juliet27 Thu 16-Jul-20 09:11:49

I agree with Humbertbear

Investments are for people who have money lying about. Your son clearly doesn’t have spare money. Your answer should be no.

Cid24 Thu 16-Jul-20 09:14:20

If you can afford to , maybe give it to him but make it clear that it’s his inheritance and there won’t be any more , maybe?

timetogo2016 Thu 16-Jul-20 09:14:35

Spot on Lucca.