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Meet ups/where are you?

Be kind

(106 Posts)
Jo61 Wed 15-Jan-20 06:44:29

Noticed negative comments to other members of Gransnet in one of the trending threads. I've closed my Facebook account for this very reason hoping to join a mature site. Can we please remember what we tell our children and grandchildren...... be KIND to each other. Surely we can express our thoughts without fearing backlash. I'm hoping to speak and maybe meet new people using this site, and don't want my membership to be short lived. Was it Bambi's mum that said "if you haven't anything nice to say, don't say it at all".... could be a miss quote ....... have a lovely Wednesday everyone

Mythbirtthedragon Wed 15-Jan-20 06:59:24

With you 100% on this one, Jo61. Many years ago, at a Tai Chi class, the teacher mentioned that a step back can be as effective as reaction. Just pause and think.

BlueBelle Wed 15-Jan-20 07:08:01

Although I totally agree with your post and the sentiment it doesn’t happen in the outside world and it won’t happen here either, there will be disagreements and opposite opinions and because the world is running on divided lines there will be strong feelings and high emotions and they will be expressed

I think what we should expect is respect for others opinions, but even a saint would sometimes fall off the wagon when thinking passionately about something we care about

My advice would be stay away from the political and more divisive titles most titles will give away that there will be strong feelings in them so don’t read them
I remember once sitting near a very lovely girl at work who said she never listened to any news programmes as they were too sad so consequently she lived in a little lovely bubble, she used to wear pink fluffy slippers under her desk at work and have balloons around her desk and dozens of photos of her wedding, but she wasn’t living in the real world (I think much happier yes) but not a life I could admire as she didn’t want to know anything about others troubles she shut her ears to people starving and wars and bad treatment because it would make ‘her’ unhappy

I totally agree let’s all be kind in our disagreements if we can but don’t expect utopia on this forum it’s not that for sure

Welcome and I hope you stay and chat Jo61 but pick your threads

Shelmiss Wed 15-Jan-20 07:08:08

I’m also with you on this Jo61. I’m too nervous to post sometimes. I know we all have different opinions, and can get very defensive of those opinions, but you’re kind.

Jo61 Wed 15-Jan-20 07:08:33

Here here smile

Chloejo Wed 15-Jan-20 07:18:51

I agree I’ve posted on here and have had some not very nice replies. I don’t get in involved in a slanging match I just ignore them and read the more helpful replies . There are always people ready to judge but they don’t know the full circumstances. If you can’t say anything nice don’t bother to comment I believe some people like to try and wind people up so I don’t rise to the bait

Jo61 Wed 15-Jan-20 07:51:01

Thanks bluebells, yes you're right, the thread was about saving plans for grandchildren so was caught out actually!! Haha x

Sara65 Wed 15-Jan-20 08:09:21

I agree, just because you disagree with someone, doesn’t mean you can’t be kind.

But I sometimes find myself wondering if some people are for real, and how they ever get through life with their self pity, and failure to ever see they are ever at fault.

It’s a strange situation, because you would be unlikely to ever meet half the people you’re chatting with, and if you did meet them, you probably wouldn’t like them, or they you.

timetogo2016 Wed 15-Jan-20 08:15:23

I think it was Thumpers mom who said that and I am with you and her 100%.
People these days seem to look for the bad and not the good in others very sad.

Jo61 Wed 15-Jan-20 08:23:37

Haha that's right, I loved watching it when my girls were young.
Well we can use constructive comments without being destructive!! On that note I'm off to work. Thanks for all your comments

janeainsworth Wed 15-Jan-20 08:41:57

jo61 Just a word of caution.
it’s not really a good idea to join a forum and start lecturing the existing members on how to behave.
You’ll be instantly marked out as one of the dreaded ‘thread police’. hmm
In fact most posters on Gransnet are kind people and don’t need you to tell them how to phrase their posts.

NannyJan53 Wed 15-Jan-20 09:07:02

I agree with janeinsworth . In fact I saw the thread in question, and saw it as a difference of opinion, nothing nasty or unkind at all.

Violettham Wed 15-Jan-20 09:14:36

Suc h a goodmessage jo61 I agree completely. I just want to see help and encouragement on here.

Auntieflo Wed 15-Jan-20 09:14:46

Maybe I am another one of the Thread Police, but why is your post under "Meet Ups/ Where are You?"
I am nice in real life!

NannyJan53 Wed 15-Jan-20 09:19:04

I did wonder that too Auntieflo

MawB Wed 15-Jan-20 09:22:00

MawB Wed 15-Jan-20 09:18:19
Add comment | Report | Private message Jo61 Wed 15-Jan-20 07:51:01
Thanks bluebells, yes you're right, the thread was about saving plans for grandchildren so was caught out actually!! Haha x

I am confused
While not disagreeing with the sentiment, why is this on “Savings accounts ” and “Meet-ups” ?

annsixty Wed 15-Jan-20 09:24:40

To be absolutely honest I had forgotten that I took part in that thread and having checked it out I plead guilty to posting unkindly.
I am seriously thinking of leaving GN, I feel I am far too old and far too sensitive to deal with certain new posters who don’t want to just state their views without unkindness or sarcasm.

Yennifer Wed 15-Jan-20 09:29:50

I don't mind the blatant opinionated people, it's the passive aggressive double meaning people that irk me with their comments that you are mad if you take it the "wrong way"

MawB Wed 15-Jan-20 09:30:38

No way * annsixty* - don’t even think about it. You are not unkind and nor are you too old or too anything else! flowers

dragonfly46 Wed 15-Jan-20 09:31:57

Please don't leave ann you play a valuable part on these forums.

I tend to back off from threads where people are voicing strong opinions, being the coward that I am, but I do enjoy the gentle threads like Good Morning and Soop's Kitchen.

There is something for everyone on here, you just have to find your niche.

Jane10 Wed 15-Jan-20 09:35:09

I agree with MawB. Don't leave annsixty!
Every now and again a new poster comes on and says we should all be nice. This is usually met with 'we're not Pollyanna' type responses. The forum is for all and not everyone is nice in real life nor can everyone be expected to be in digital life. Some people have strong feelings about certain topics. Just avoid the politics threads and you should be OK.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 15-Jan-20 09:38:37

Annsixty please do not leave GN, you have been a very good virtual friend to me and lots of others flowers

Sarahmob Wed 15-Jan-20 09:45:12

I have sometimes joined in on threads but confess I steer clear of things that might be controversial because of the unkind responses I have read. I feel we are all entitled to our point of view and as long as stating it politely and kindly, entitled to share it without having to worry that it might upset or offend.

NannyJan53 Wed 15-Jan-20 09:47:14

Another one saying do not leave Annsixty you are a valuable and trusted member here flowers

FearlessSwiftie Wed 15-Jan-20 09:47:33

Totally agree. People tend to forget the things they are teaching their children