Sleeping wth children

I remember being full of dire warnings to someone who regularly slept with her children: they just would not go to bed alone. Well the children have turned out to be the nicest possible who wouldn't dream of sleeping with their parents any more. And the parents are very much together. I was wrong big time.

When you read the article it sounds innocent enough but I can't help thinking there is trouble brewing. It may be OK occasionally but in life the line of least resistance doesn't always turn out to be the best.

Each to his own.

At our wedding we were given a good piece of advice:
'The best thing you can do for your children is to love your husband/wife and put him/her first'.
We've always done this, but I can see that problems would come if either partner were selfish or joint parenting strategies weren't agreed.
I would never consider ousting my husband from the marital bed in favour of my child. (A good book and a cup of horlicks though....... )

It sounds like a pretty good birth control measure.

If it works for this family it"s no one else's business.

A child should sleep independently from day one, apart from risk to baby a mother needs her rest.

We just played musical beds. Never quite knew where anyone was going to wake up in the morning. I was always too tired to get up in the night; either the kids came into our bed [and joined the cats] or I got up and went to see why they'd woken up and just fell asleep with them. The only family member that wasn't allowed in our bed was the dog [she had a basket next to the bed]. Oh, and the guinea pigs.

It just sounds to me as though there is something very amiss with that marriage.
Is this mothers dependence problem or the childs? At six he should sleep on his own unless he is poorly.
It does not bode well.

If there is a problem with the child sleeping elsewhere [could be for lots of reasons] the answer would be to buy a king sized bed for all 3 of them.Perhaps the husband is a shift worker though, so doesn't want to disturb anyone.Their own business though, really.

I'd never heard of co-sleeping at the beginning of the 70s. DS1 slept in the Moses basket from Day 1 and once my parents had gone home, he also had his own room, albeit with connecting doors open either side of a Jack and Jill bathroom. Young brother slept in our room for a while after he came out of SCBU, but eventually had his own space. They both grew up to be normal, independent and affectionate young middle-aged men!

Something else people need to stop worrying about. So long as there is no incest what the hell does it matter?

Musical beds in our house too and always included the dog.

This tradition is continuing when DGS stay over. I don't care who sleeps where as long as everyone gets a decent nights sleep..

DD's obviously grew out of it as will GD's but in the meantime I love wakening to a sleepy GD beside me.

Oh, that's just not right. One thing for a child to sleep in with Mum when he's poorly, but not as a regular thing like that. He needs to be in his own room with his own things round him, and in his own bed. How long is she going to keep it up? He could be in Cubs in a year or two and needing to go on weekend camps. Ridiculous.

God, I hope she's not still breastfeeding him!

And what about sleepovers?!

My 6-year-old GS has already been on two overnight camps/sleepovers with the Beavers. He had the nerve to complain to the leader that a weepy homesick child was keeping him awake.

Just took the trouble to read the article. The child started sleeping in his parents's bed when he was ill 18 months ago. Around this time father started working abroad for 26 weeks of the year, a further disruption for the child, and both parents were happy that the child continued to sleep with mother.

The mother says her relationship with husband is rock solid and their sex life has improved since they started sleeping apart.

As soon as the child is ready he will go back into his own room.

Can't see why we have to be alarmist/judgemental about the situation.

Incidentally I would never have put my husband before my children when they were small. Different now they are middle aged perhaps.

Parents' i mean.

People can be terribly sanctimonious about child rearing . If it works for this family then there's no problem.other cultures in the world would find it strange that we put our babies in cots in another room away from their mothers. Anyone read the continuum concept jean leidlof ? back in the 70 s 80 ?

I agree with Atqui - no child abuse here so let them do as they wish; and you are right - sleeping apart from a baby or young child would be seen as cruel in some cultures.

I am certainly not being sanctimonius! In the article the dad didn't seem too happy with having to sleep on a little single bed in the spare room whilst young son occupied his place in the marital bed. Understandably!

Just not right. Not doing that boy any good at all. Not at 6!

article in good old Daily Mail

Atqui I like the way the comedian Michael McIntyre referred to his success at child-rearing when, having looked after one child each all day, he said to his wife 'mine's still alive, so's yours - I call that a good day!' Yes, good enough is fine most of the time, with occasional bursts of brilliance and disappointment.

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