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Sleeping wth children

(96 Posts)
lucyinthesky Thu 06-Feb-14 15:06:55

Daily Mail has an article to day written by a mother who co-sleeps with her 6 year old son while her husband sleeps in the spare bedroom. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2552637/I-share-bed-six-year-old-husband-spare-room.html
At the end of the day has anyone got an opinion on the rights and wrongs of when a child should learn to sleep independently and whether some mothers today are right in always putting child before husband?

petallus Fri 07-Feb-14 10:00:48

The father seemed okay to me.

Anyway, he snores loudly and keeps his wife and son awake so it serves him right.

Years ago I sent DH into the spare room because of dreadful snoring, shouting and kicking in his sleep.

He loves having his own room and won't come back now but anyway it's only a short distance across the landing!

Agus Fri 07-Feb-14 10:08:59

petallus grin. A good night's sleep all round!

Atqui Fri 07-Feb-14 10:10:59

Sounds good petallus. nothing like a good nights un disturbed sleep. I think there are quite a lot of people who like to have 'the bed to themselves', but are too embarrassed to admit it. it doesn't preclude intimacy at other times as the Daily Mail person said.

grannyactivist Fri 07-Feb-14 10:34:52

jingl don't feel too sorry for poor dad; it's a double bed he's sleeping in and he still gets to [ahem] 'visit' his wife alone from time to time. wink

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 07-Feb-14 13:18:24

Oh yes. Small double bed.

Still very wrong as a seemingly permanent thing. And the mother is enjoying it far too much. Sooner or later she will have to realise she no longer actually has a baby. hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 07-Feb-14 13:20:23

And the writer is bound to put the situation across in the way most favourable to herself. Who knows how often the dad grumbles.

petallus Fri 07-Feb-14 18:09:03

Are we talking about 'a husband's rights' in this day and age?

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 07-Feb-14 18:47:20

Not exactly petallus, unless we are talking about his right to sleep in his own bed. With his own wife. Which is the normal thing in any marriage.

More to the point, it's bad for the child!

annodomini Fri 07-Feb-14 18:56:26

That child is going to feel very put out if (though it seems unlikely) he ever has a sibling.

Atqui Fri 07-Feb-14 20:06:37

Who's to say what's normal jings

petallus Fri 07-Feb-14 22:00:42

If you say so Jingl.

I must remember to tell DH we have had an abnormal marriage for the past ten years or so.

grin

petallus Fri 07-Feb-14 22:01:38

And we thought we were happy.

Damn!

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 07-Feb-14 22:20:47

I thought this was a sensible discussion.

Obviously got it wrong.

annodomini Fri 07-Feb-14 22:23:11

We each speak from our own experience, jingl. So be it.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 07-Feb-14 22:27:49

Absolutely. moon

thatbags Sat 08-Feb-14 07:53:46

Children often feel "put out" when new siblings arrive. That's just life. Something they and their parents have to deal with. Nothing new.

Various combinations of sleeping arrangements within families are nothing new either. There is absolutely no right or wrong if all it's about is everyone getting a good night's sleep. None of it is set in stone and never to be changed.

Definitely a shrugworthy situation and just the DM trying to make something newsworthy that really isn't, as it does.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Feb-14 09:06:06

But in this case it isn't about getting a good night's sleep. Not any more.

Now it's a case of the mother not wanting to let go because she is happy with the arrangement. No more persuasion is being applied.

Are there really no other posters (or lurkers) out there who think the same? Just me and, I think, annodomini? Quite surprised really.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Feb-14 17:08:06

Bump

Because it's amongst the lost threads.

petallus Sat 08-Feb-14 17:18:39

Did you read the article jingl?

You seem more concerned at the situation than the husband.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Feb-14 17:28:16

Yes, I read the article. I don't care about the husband tbh. He's big enough to look after himself. I'm more concerned about the harm it must be doing to the child. Quite apart from the fact that, at six, he should be becoming more independent of his Mum, he is going to believe that he is the centre of the universe.

In other words, a spoilt brat.

We are not talking about a one year old!

Most little boys want Mummy to themselves but they have to learn that that isn't how it's going to pan out.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Feb-14 17:33:05

I wonder if the father is not doing enough to form a good "boys together" relationship with his son. Wonder if the father is the one to actually see the boy into bed at night, and read to him. Mummy needs to take a back seat.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Feb-14 17:36:44

Would be interested in hearing views of a wider range of grans. We need a poll.

Is the mother crazy?

Or is she ok in this?

Mishap Sat 08-Feb-14 18:57:13

It's all fine. A lot of it goes on. It does no harm. Panic not!

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Feb-14 19:30:06

It's weird.

nightowl Sat 08-Feb-14 19:59:17

We all have our own weirdnesses jingl grin

One day this little lad will tell his mum he wants his own space. Hopefully before he's 15.