Is this the way to deal with loneliness as you get older?

Ginny, i am with you. I would have been easier to train a dog but he is lovely so i decided to keep him.

My husband is in better health than me so its anyones guess!

I think I could do this if it ever came to it.

Your arrangement sounds ideal Christo46.It has also helped you through losing your wife by the sound of it. Hope it continues to suit you both.

As I have no family and only one really good friend. She lives on her own also. I would like to have a largish house and us live together. We go away on holiday for weeks at a time with little problems as I am quite easy going. When I come back from our holidays I always feel down as I miss the company of someone to chat to. We also help one another out with crosswords etc. We are both very independent and she has a busy social life and I don't. We would need our own lounges though. She loves my dog has even bought him treats and his own bed for when we visit. I think the dog has more chance than I do.

You can still be lonely even when you are with friends, I had two friends one was my neighbour. They got on very well together and had a lot in commen they both came from Bermondsey i was a Greenwich girl, they would often talk about things when I was with them that I knew nothing about if I asked or mentioned something they would raise their eyes or look at one another and grin. They say two's company threes a crowd and I just felt left out and lonely at times, in the end I decided that I didn't feel I could be with them anymore.

Nor me my idea of hell .Im not social especislly less and less as illness has taken hold. And a lot of my family and friends have taken up rediance in tge cementary.

Hells bells NO NO NO. I can live with other half and have done for 42 years , mainly because he is very easy going. There is nobody else I could live with either friends or family. Perish the thought

Brilliant idea

My wife and I and a man friend have shared a house since 1991.
We had been close friends for a long time, and knew we should "get on well".
Sadly, my wife died suddenly and unexpectedly in January 2012, and having an existing housemate has been a real boon.
Kev and I are totally different characters in many respects - he is practical, "handy" and a joiner, whereas I am not, being more "creative" in terms of writing, Art and UK travel. Kev prefers to go to Turkey where he and a former work colleague have invested in a Timeshare in a yacht to sail the Med and the Aegean - they are entitled to two six week stints in any twelvemonth period.
Consequently, the loneliness and feeling "out of it" experienced by many people who have lost their partner is not a problem for us.
I'm sad not to have any grandchildren which I hear is delightful, but my superb daughter-in-law lets me "share" many of her younger nieces and their families.
My stepson is also a star - we have known each other since he was seven, and he and I getting on famously is the main reason my late wife married me, I'm sure.
Without I hope ever "poking my nose in", I take a keen interest in the filming, recording and PR international business they run from the HQ on Lord Street in Southport. They are in America at the moment seeing daughter-in-law's elder brother who lives with his English wife near Washington DC. They are fascinating people too.
If there are friends of yours who you think would put in lots in a communal living arrangement, do investigate. My enjoyment has not come about through "pot luck", believe me.

I have some lovely friends but as much as I enjoy spending time with them I wouldn't want to live with them I value my own company too much plus when family came visiting theirs or mine I would feel uncomfortable about it.

I don't have 3 friends, let alone ones I could live with ! I am far too set in my ways to share with anyone again.
My mother lived in an Abbeyfield house a few years ago. It was an ideal set-up for anybody sociable and cheap too, but she stayed in her room all the time. Meals were cooked by the staff, but Mum always took hers back to her room to eat. I noticed the last time I was in Witney that the house no longer belonged to the organisation.

That should be home not homes!!

Like the lady in the van VL!!!! Perhaps lovely Alan Bennett will allow you to park on his drive!!! DH and I live in a log cabin, built to our specs about five years ago. We sold our 'family home's and managed to achieve this particular downsize. It is very easy to look after, very economical to heat, with the addition of our own water supply and septic tank. It's been the best move we've made apart from our first tiny cottage bought in the very early days a very long time ago!

In my dreams I would like a lovely flat in a gated community ...there are some in France, including some women who bought a chateau together, which gives each of them a lot of indiviual space .....but sadly the 'rent' for each flat is 3,000 a MONTH not including maintenance of the grounds .....more than three times my income ! Nothing for it but to buy an old camper van and be an old age traveller ...

Not sure it would work with 3 people but maybe 4 or 5? I have friends I could live with but I'm not sure they could live with each other. Couldn't cope with all being retired, we'd have to be mixed ages. I have a friend 25 years younger than me who has some physical problems so she could do the cooking and I could do the garden.

The house would have to be big enough for us to get away from each other!

Corncob, you can have your own TV in my communal house and you can bring your dog, too! ?

I once didn't have the choice, I left my abusive husband to live with a friend who owned a very large house. She had been left by her husband, with three small children, and I had my daughter. Yes, it took a while to adapt, but we had an amazing time as well as sad, broke and unhappy ones. As she said - you do need a hug sometimes. We gradually did her house up to accommodate other tenants over a couple of years, and saw many men and women passing through, although some stayed for years. It wasn't that they couldn't afford to live elsewhere - she had a couple of very big flats in that house, as well as just rooms - it was that they wanted to be able to have company when they needed it, until or if they felt able to face living alone. If anything happened to DBH I would go back to her like a shot.

She now has an amazing network of friends all over the country.

Admittedly none of us co-owned her house, and at times we didn't like her rules, but things always got ironed out in the end. In many ways it was like a marriage, that period of adjustment to each other to start with, although it was also like being young again and finding that your flatmate was always nicking your clothes...

No way,I like to watch what I want on TV and do my own thing. The dog is my company and am happy with that.

I've heard of this, probably in the USA. I'm not sure but I think a big house belonged to only one person and the individual rooms were rented to other women, not necessarily friends. There was a communal kitchen and living room. The women were interviewed to make sure they were likely to fit in and were financially able to pay their way. I suppose it was run as a kind of hippy cooperative! I think there was an agreement (albeit informal) to care for each other but not on a 'nursing' basis. I think they had one communal dinner each week. I rather like the idea. It would work as long as the house was close to doctor, dentist, shops and transport services and legal contracts were agreed. If I win the lottery, I might do it! I'll need to start doing the lottery...

My friend and we're discussing this yesterday . We shared a flat when we were student nurses with 2 others and 3 of us are still close friends .The other one died sadly a number of years ago. We decided that even though we had a great time then, we couldn't do it now as we are too set in our ways. I would go mad with the one that doesn't get up till lunchtime and she would kill me with my "Tigger" attitude at 7am ! I could possibly live with my sister ( she also is a early bird ) but not my brother,as he would be constantly turning the heating down ! My DD often talks of buying a bigger place and building a granny flat if I am left alone . As long as it's completely self contained I think that's maybe the way forward nowadays . SiL's mother has one with her middle son and I THINK it's being considered by my DS and DiL as her father is widowed and very lonely .Trouble is we all live too long

My friend did this in the 1990s. 4 of them all widowed due to move into a large house. 1 withdrew just before the closing date and the others agreed to continue but would have to rent out the extra room to university student to make house pay.

i went to visit my friend. The kitchen was great we brewed up and went to sit down in the dining area in another room. Here a housemate followed us, our chatty conversation was not the same with an 'observer'. then next time my friend could not go out with me as she had promised to give this person a lift to her evening class. Turned out only 2 out of 3 had a car and this one didn't. i knew that at this stage this set up would not work.

In fact they had to get this person rehoused and then sell up and then sadly the person died and the 2 left found they were the guardians for her learning disabled daughter!!

My friend went to live in a house of her own but then in 2010 moved into sheltered accommodation. This too had its problems but she got over them and stayed.

My friend is occasionally contacted by university researchers doing research in shared living in older age. She enjoys these interviews.

I thought it was a brilliant idea to begin with, but then thought it through and had to admit that it wouldn't suit me.

My big problem with all forms of retirement living arrangements, including Granny Annexes, is that they are just too small and restricted in room numbers. No matter how enjoyable the social arrangements may be, if when I am in my own accommodation I do not have the space to accommodate all my other interests, I am going to be frustrated and unhappy.

I couldn't actually share my home with anyone, mainly because I don't know anyone also on their own who I could tolerate living with, but live in a retirement community apartment, so there is always a degree of companionship if I want it.

I'm a widow and my friends of my own age are all married so this doesn't seem an option. I have my sons living with me and do often feel a female friend would be easier and less messy!