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Policies please!!!

(311 Posts)
trisher Mon 23-Oct-17 10:19:06

Dear Gransnetters
I am making a sincere request for any ideas and policies you think might help me and my government cling on to power keep the country on a strong and stable path. We are willing to consider anything. Sajid has already launched a housing idea, Michael is busy searching through Jeremy's bins for cast offs and Boris has promised to keep his nose out of things is focussing on foreign policy. But I am sure some of you have really good ideas. Don't worry about u-turns I am willing to swivel 360% and more if it will keep me in power is in the country's interests. So please send them to me. Desperately Seeking Solutions Theresa @No.10

durhamjen Sun 12-Nov-17 12:51:55

"The Accidental PM" ?
Otherwise known as lots of accidents waiting to happen.

trisher Sun 12-Nov-17 13:05:18

I'm very much thinking about "If" , you know from the poem "If you can keep your head when all about you "
It was going to be "Strong and Stable" but I've changed my mind.

durhamjen Sun 12-Nov-17 13:50:27

Sorry, but you'll have to stop hiding so we know you've kept your head.

JessM Sun 12-Nov-17 17:57:06

I'd suggest Pride and Prejudice, but it's already been used. Same applies to Great Expectations.

trisher Sun 12-Nov-17 18:35:22

I'm also puzzling about who to dedicate the book to. (It takes my mind off the other disasters) It should be my dear hubby of course, but there are so many others I have to thank.

mostlyharmless Sun 12-Nov-17 19:29:43

You could dedicate it to David Cameron. He's the one who left you in this mess resigned so that you could become PM.

trisher Mon 13-Nov-17 10:32:43

Mmm so "To David C without whom I wouldn't be where I am today."
I'm thinking "For Boris who always spoke his mind"
or
"For Michael G who cleared the way for me"

durhamjen Mon 13-Nov-17 17:03:09

Dave C as in call me Dave.

mostlyharmless Mon 13-Nov-17 18:43:09

Possible book title for you Theresa.
"Theresa in Blunderland" courtesy of yesterday's Observer.

durhamjen Mon 13-Nov-17 20:54:16

I think you need to forget about the book and be a bit more responsible.

www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/pound-sterling-latest-updates-exchange-rate-theresa-may-leadership-brexit-cabinet-conservative-a8051621.html

You are being blamed for this.

trisher Tue 14-Nov-17 10:15:05

I'm being blamed for everything! But I have the solution for Brexit. Everything will be put to a vote in Parliament (I know I said it wouldn't be before, but they don't call me Turnabout Theresa for nothing). All MPs will have a vote. Then when we don't have any agreement and finish up in a complete mess I can blame them! Isn't democracy wonderful

mostlyharmless Tue 14-Nov-17 10:36:19

What a brilliant idea Theresa! Offer a meaningless vote when it is too late to change anything! Sounds very democratic.
As you say the ensuing disaster will be all Parliament's fault. Then you can cut and run having done your duty of obeying "The Will of the People" and delivering Brexit.

durhamjen Tue 14-Nov-17 16:08:35

Ignore the fact that this is on Voxpolitical.
Even you, Theresa, might enjoy this twitter exchange between Ralph Little and Jeremy Hunt.
By the way, is he hiding again since this?

voxpoliticalonline.com/2017/11/14/actor-ralf-little-schools-jeremy-hunt-on-mental-health-provision/

It's about one of your pet projects.

JessM Tue 14-Nov-17 16:43:46

Oh Ralf Little is much better looking than JH as well isn't he? Maybe you'll have another place on the cabinet soon and you could. It could do with an upgrade in the handsome department. I do feel sorry for you having to have meetings with them so often. Must be a trial. Do you ever get a bit ratty with that husband of yours for "supporting" you in your bid to become PM?

durhamjen Tue 14-Nov-17 16:55:43

Henry V111 powers - if they don't agree with you, just chop their heads off.
Very 21st century.

durhamjen Thu 16-Nov-17 11:24:15

Here's a good housing policy, building in cloud cuckoo land.

www.24housing.co.uk/news/more-than-40000-new-homes-could-be-built-on-londons-roofs/

Mamie Thu 16-Nov-17 11:35:36

Tell me Theresa, is it true that Larry the Cat ate the Brexit position papers? What a naughty pussy!

durhamjen Thu 16-Nov-17 11:42:25

You'd think Theresa realised that that excuse never washed with teachers, either.
She needs to write 500 times, "I must not tell lies..."

Here's another lie, told to parliament yesterday.

politicalscrapbook.net/2017/11/may-boasted-about-high-pay-under-the-tories-on-the-day-real-wages-fell-for-the-eighth-month-in-a-row/

How about it, Theresa; a promise to tell the truth? Your lies are so easily uncovered.

trisher Thu 16-Nov-17 12:09:18

I'm going to rely on Charles 11 here and his reply to Rochester's rhyme
We have a pretty witty king,
Whose word no man relies on;
He never said a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one.

"My words are my own, but my actions are those of my ministers"
And we all know that my ministers are a lot of useless bas unpredictable.

(Larry the Cat has protested that he won't be blamed for the fiasco going on at No. 10 and is considering starting his own thread)

Mamie Thu 16-Nov-17 12:13:37

Please tell Larry the Cat I love his Twitter feed. Especially when someone said how angry you looked at something and he said, “you haven't been sick in one of her shoes”.
Was it leopard skin? ?

trisher Thu 16-Nov-17 12:22:03

Oh dear! I just thought I had put too much moisturiser on one foot. And that explains why the cabinet all looked as if they had a nasty smell up their noses (although they usually do any way).

Mamie Thu 16-Nov-17 12:31:02

You should definitely look at his Twitter feed. He often calls Palmerston the cat down to No. 10 from the FCO for a telling-off. Perhaps you could learn from his example?

durhamjen Thu 16-Nov-17 14:48:27

I should keep him inside on Tuesday lunchtime. You are going to get a big food delivery for your foodbank, courtesy of the People's Assembly.

durhamjen Thu 16-Nov-17 15:29:03

Are you listening, Theresa?

www.taxresearch.org.uk/Blog/2017/11/16/its-time-the-treasury-listened-to-the-national-audit-office-when-it-comes-to-government-debt/

The NAO tells the truth. Time you copied them?

durhamjen Thu 16-Nov-17 15:51:42

By the way, we know you don't like reading things, because David said you didn't have time to look at the Brexit papers.
Just have a look at the pictures.