As usual I'm much too late to take part in a very interesting discussion. Will chuck a few thoughts in anyway.
The impression I get (from the world in general, not the OP) is that some people seem to think there's a magical country called Woman, and they can simply cry 'I defect!' and hey presto, they are fully-fledged citizens of their chosen nation.
If someone chooses to live in a country other than that of their birth, and do so legally, it takes time and effort.
Add to this the fact that people are a bit more complicated than countries, and that anything to do with sexuality in any form is one of the most complex things about we rum things called people, and it's quite a subject.
I was born into a world of straight, gay, lesbian, bi, cross-dressers, and good-tempered dressers. I was raised by these people and I wouldn't change one bit of anything about it. It was quite normal to consider same-sex couples married and beyond the pale to measure any human being by any standards other than those of compassion and respect. One of my dearest friends was born male and, decades ago, became a woman through a series of operations that called for tremendous commitment. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her terribly.
A few of these friends and family members ventured into politics, public works, etc. Most did not, but the ones who did focused on the sort of things Rosieroe mentioned - things that affect the entire population and had nothing to do with themselves as defined by sexuality. They would have found, and those above ground still do, the idea incredibly demeaning.
I see a whacking great red flag when people in public life seem to think that gender issues are more important than, say, healthcare, child abuse, homelessness, etc. It's the same red flag I see whenever there's blatant self-interest at work: when rich politicians try to enforce policies that will make them richer, and so on. (Most of the time, sadly!)
The poor souls trapped in Grenfell Towers probably didn't have gender identity uppermost in their minds as the flames closed in. We've got to take care of the basics first. Everyone's idea of 'the basics' will be different, but one of my many mad ideas is that having safe places to live might deserve a slightly higher place on the list of priorities than gender issues.
That probably sounds much harsher than I intended. I care enormously about the way LGBTetc. people (all the ones I used to be able to group under the heading of 'people') feel and are treated ... the ones who are my friends and family happen, by and large, to agree with me. That's a lot of LGBTetc. people.
My grandparents and parents knew an amazing chap who did ground-breaking research in hormones, genetics, and sexuality/gender. (I know everyone says 'ground-breaking' about everything these days, but his work really was.) His findings were astonishing: the number of people born with hormone levels at extreme variance with their biological sex was greater than anyone had previously imagined. This increases dramatically as children enter puberty. The amount of children born with both sets (or very nearly both sets) of genitalia is greater than most people would want to know. I fully understand that many people feel 'trapped' in the wrong body: it must be horrendous and my heart goes out to them.
However ...
I know I'm the world's biggest bore about 'I don't think this is really about (blank), I think it's about (blank),' and I am sorry, but ... I think that this is frequently about both the over-sexualisation of society on the whole, and the 'I feel this way and I can demand because I feel' culture.
Someone else wrote something about 'the me culture' ... I think it was on this thread but could quite possibly be confused! I'm very sorry I didn't make a note of the person's name. And it's possible that the remark may have been in reference to an entirely different subject! Either way I think it applies here.
I can't imagine going through life full of male hormones in a female body, or vice versa. It would be a nightmare, but many people have found ways to deal with it maturely. If you can't deal with anything about your life maturely, if you can't understand that people have very legitimate concerns for the safety of some of the most vulnerable in our society, please go away til you've found an appropriate way to air your views. I'll gladly listen to you when you've discretion enough to combine your beliefs with a form of behaviour that approximates the age of sexual consent (or, hopefully, over.) N.B. I mean people in the public forum, not on GN!
It feels so much like we're being dictated to by adolescents who've just discovered their sexuality, but haven't yet learnt its part in the scheme of things. When it hits you it's overwhelming, marvelous, and a bit terrifying. You're giddy and you've no idea that to the rest of the world you just seem a bit ridiculous. At the time, that's the way it's meant to be. It isn't meant to stay that way, though, is it?
SueDonim, thank you so much for your posts. I've learnt a tremendous amount.
So much division and hatred in this world of 'inclusiveness.' I'll never understand it. Surely most of us heard Prince sing 'act your age, not your shoe size' but not many listened!
