confused about 'Love'

I felt really ancient the first time a shop assistant called me ‘dear’. Unfortunately I’ve since then become used to it. I’m dreading hearing ‘pet’.

As others say, so many use ‘love’ in the North West of England that you cease to notice, so maybe it was an uptight visitor? Your DH shouldn't worry about it.
I don’t live there now, but never bother about anyone calling
Me love, dear, sweetheart etc.Although the patronising ‘bless’ gets a bit annoying,?

Wonder what that woman would have made of the usual morning greeting offered in the office I worked in in North Manchester some time ago. The usual morning greeting was "Y'alright cock?"
It was offered as as friendly greeting and no one, to my knowledge, ever took offence or umbrage.

Oh dear. Haven’t they got more serious things to be worried about? Some people seem to see offence where none exists ! Political correctness gone mad.?

I agree NanaK54 - I think some people just love to be offended and pick you up before you’ve fallen down, so to speak. Like you, they can call me duck, love, sweetheart, darling, as long as it’s not said in a condescending way, and I think we are all old enough here to know the difference!!!

MaisieD, where I live men have called other men “love” and “duck”. It’s just an expression.

I agree with Orange about the context in which words such as "love" are used. I find it a bit irritating if a much younger person addresses me in that way, but I wouldn't get up in arms about it. (I really don't like being called "dear" by anyone - and yet two of my friends use that term to each other as well as to me so nothing is meant by it).

I think why people get annoyed about it is that it could be perceived to confer a degree of power on the person saying it over the recipient. After all, it is unlikely that such informality would be used by a person towards his or her boss.

However, I think that many people who routinely use words like "love", "sweetheart" and "darling" are just being friendly. Generally speaking, this sort of thing doesn't bother me but, as with most things, context is important.

I once knew a young teacher who greeted her class every day with a big smile and " Good morning my lovelies" The children all smiled back. Set a new day off well.
I don 't mind being called love,or indeed ' flower by a stranger but dislike 'dear' Makes me feel old

I don't particularly like it but I certainly wouldn't make a fuss about it. It's not so bad from people of one's own age but I don't like it from a 'youngster' - it's patronising.

My husband does this and I do keep telling him to pack it up as it is sexist. But he does not see it that way, it jars with me every time I hear it but I think he is making a point now!

How can something be sexist if both men and women use/say words such as My Lover, Babber, Lovely, Darling, Love, Honey, Pet, Dear.

To my way of thinking most of these words are simply colloquial speak .

There is of course also the fact not everybody uses colloquial dialects , common parlance, informal language and it is most likely they will be the ones who find it upsetting because it simply is not a normal way to communicate in their experience . Having said that the like or dislike of using common endearments /language greatly varies and crosses all sections of the population .

Is it sexist though or nothing more than common speak if both sexes use such words? Each to his/her own I suppose.

Where I live everyone and anybody calls each other love. I think it's a same it's seen as anything other than a friendly acknowledgement that you exist.

It doesn't bother me, one way or the other. Your husband said it with benign and innocent intentions. Such a shame he was given an ear bashing.

'Love' is used regularly around here along with 'pet/petal'. When I was working I was told to stop calling children 'petal' as it was a form of disrespect. I don't think either me or the children thought of it in that way but apparently OFSTED didn't like it.

vampirequeen same goes for 'flower' sadly.

I’m happy for anyone to call me love, or any of the other teams mentioned, with one exception. For some reason, I find the word dear patronising. Strange, because I used to work with a woman who called everyone dear, and I had no problem with that, but maybe that’s because she was older than most other people there.

I think it was very rude and unkind of that woman to be so disparaging and frankly ridiculous. When I was first married DH and I lived in deepest Cornwall, and I can remember being slightly taken aback at ' My lover'! When we left two years later, I would have been mortified NOT to be referred to like this!
I really don't mind how anyone refers to me, so long as its not with malice. I have to admit though that I do find 'bless' a bit much!

NonnaW I so agree about hating 'dear'. Our old next door neighbour, a pompous medic, called me dear a few times and he was only 10 years younger than me! I'm very happy with most terms of endearment, 'love' especially as I'm from a Lancastrian family who used it all the time when I was growing up.

I don't mind being called love but not by people/shop assistants younger than me, also I cannot bear being called Sweetheart by anyone young enough to be my grandchildren, That does sound condescening, like I am a silly old doddery bat ,

Here on Merseyside "love" is used so often in conversation and I am never offended by it,I would far rather be acknowledged by some term of endearment than ignored.

It's a funny world. I like people being friendly, "love" "pet" "duck" are just affectionate terms and oil the wheels of daily life, until of course, they sound patronising, or until someone thinks they are sexist. Such a shame your sweet DH was misunderstood. Upon which note I give my funny story. A colleague of mine came to work in Derby. He used a lot of taxis. Born in Turkey, though living here many years, sometimes he was puzzled by our ways or language. "How do the Taxi Drivers know I'm a Doctor even when I'm not going to the Hospital?" he asked me. "Why?'" says I. "They always call me 'Doc'". Aha! Methinks. In Derbyshire, everyone calls you "Duck" but with their regional accent, to a man who lived 20 years in London, it sounds like "Doc!"

Lilypops I agree! you've hit one of my irritation buttons, I hate being called "Darlin" and especially in hospital the patronising "Do this for me Darlin'". It's a certain type of person who says it. I dare not describe. Others treat you as if you are sensible and with respect. I was particularly upset when the Carers started calling my mother "Darlin". I did ask them to use her name and one of them told me 'She likes it". In fact I don't think she knew what it was about. It was a hard time, my mother would have hated it before she had Alzheimer's, and would have corrected their pronunciation too.

I think there is too much political correctness in everything these days i dont mind being called love, or any other term of endearment if its usual in the area im in i wouldnt take offence, but like some others for some reason i dont like being called dearIt does sound condescending for some reason
Also agree with not being called darling in hospital
In some areas men call everyone love,i remember hearing my brother who lived in Huddersfield call another man love, didnt realise everyone in that area did ,to men or women

When we lived in the NW we knew we'd landed back at Manchester when we were called love.
If it happens to him again his response should be along the lines of, having slowly looked her up and down, Sorry, I can see you're no-one's love.

It's rather demean ing and belittling to be called love or dear. Perhaps it's acceptable in the north.