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confused about 'Love'

(60 Posts)
annab275 Sat 10-Feb-18 13:08:39

My Oh and I live in the North West and he has just come back from shopping with a tale about someone getting upset as he called her 'Love'. He was trying to get to the yoghurts and a trolley was in his way, so he said 'sorry love' and moved the trolley as he thought it was hers. Actually it wasn't. So she turns to him and gives him a right earful about being sexist. He says 'Pardon?" not quite understanding what she is on about. Personally I have no problem with anyone calling me love. How about you?

Anniebach Sat 10-Feb-18 13:24:12

Good grief, world realy has gone mad, I use 'my love' when addressing people , even my Tesco delivery chap, and females too

Bridgeit Sat 10-Feb-18 13:42:47

I agree,it will be a very sad world indeed if it becomes unacceptable, political correctness is getting out of hand. In the West Country everyone is ‘ my lover ‘ not literally of course, well maybe!( that bit is a joke )
My OH once said to a female ‘ all right my lover’ to which she rather haughtily replied ‘ my lover you will never be’ to which he replied ‘ thank God for that’ !

yggdrasil Sat 10-Feb-18 14:00:31

This bloke came out of a shop door too quickly and nearly bumped into me. He said 'sorry love'. His fault, his apology, what's to complain about? :-)

MissAdventure Sat 10-Feb-18 14:25:38

'Love' doesn't offend me. I use it myself, sometimes.
Other names irk a bit, depending on who's saying them, but certainly not enough to rant at someone.

Greyduster Sat 10-Feb-18 14:29:37

Personally, I can’t bring myself to call anyone ‘love’ except members of my immediate family - certainly not total strangers; but I have no objections to being casually called ‘love’ by others. It just goes over my head. It is accepted terminology in this neck of the woods.

POGS Sat 10-Feb-18 16:08:59


I think GN has seen a few threads that show how some people feel using words such as love, Darling upset them and others find it perfectly acceptable, even comforting .

It's getting to the point where saying nowt, doing nowt is the safest option, sad old world isn't it.!

eazybee Sat 10-Feb-18 16:11:28

Silly woman.

nanaK54 Sat 10-Feb-18 16:14:56

I think some people just love to be offended - please feel free to call me love, sweetheart, darling, duck grin

One of the ladies working in our local shop always says "hello young lady" - suits me! smile

KatyK Sat 10-Feb-18 16:15:59

I rather like all these terms. I like being called love. I have been called 'hun' and 'sweet' by younger folks. I like it smile

MissAdventure Sat 10-Feb-18 16:21:57

A lady working in a charity shop called me "My old cock-a-lora" smile it made my day, though I don't know what it means or anything.

Cherrytree59 Sat 10-Feb-18 16:24:43

I am guilty of using Angel
As yet I haven't had any complaints.

I like Pet as used by my parents and grandparentssmile

MissAdventure Sat 10-Feb-18 16:27:20

I love "Hen", my exes daughter used to call me that.

MaizieD Sat 10-Feb-18 16:46:59

When I lived in Sheffield many years ago some of the men used the term of men and women. All sexes were addressed as 'love'. I don't think it would bother me although it would depend on the context. If the man was using it in a condescending way I would find it offensive.

OTH, I'd find being called 'young lady' very patronising...

maryeliza54 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:10:57

Context is everything - I don’t use it in everyday life outside the house and notice its use ( or variants) when I go back up to the North/Midlands. I think it’s usually very clear from the context how it’s beimg used - as Maizie said,it can be used condescendingly just part of everyday normal human interaction in what are basically impersonal interactions. I would never respond negatively in the latter type of situations but in the former.......

maryeliza54 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:11:31

Or before just

maryeliza54 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:14:29

The last time I was called ‘young lady’ I was with friends of similar age. We just burst out laughing and told the young waiter that he should have gone to Specsavers. It was all vey good natured

loopyloo Sat 10-Feb-18 17:26:13

In a taxi the other day going the driver asked " young lady, how good is your walking? As there is a quick route if you can walk."
I replied that I could go the route he suggested as could manage the 5 mins stroll.
Thing was he looked as old as I am. And he did save me some money!
Personally I hate being called " Dear". Young person at a garden centre called me Sweetie. Was furious.

ninny Sat 10-Feb-18 17:29:00

Where I live the favoured word is duck, alright duck, thanks duck, even the lady shop assistants say it. Sometimes I think and I am not trying to be controversial that if a man says love to a lesbian they would probably take offence, or an ardent women's libber not pc enough for them ?

Bathsheba Sat 10-Feb-18 17:29:28

I think your OH should have said "Oops, sorry, my mistake. You could never be 'love' to me!"
Some people do rather make it a mission to be offended at every turn confused. I've little time for them.

M0nica Sat 10-Feb-18 17:37:05

So what is sexist about calling anyone 'Love'? It is a gender neutral word. I have been called 'love' by other women as often as by men

As eazybee says, silly woman.

Christinefrance Sat 10-Feb-18 17:57:46

I agree Bathsheba it seems to be thing to do now to find an insult where none was intended.

MaizieD Sat 10-Feb-18 18:04:11

It is a gender neutral word. I have been called 'love' by other women as often as by men

I think it would only be 'gender neutral if men called other men 'love', Usage towards women and by women doesn't sound entirely neutral to me.

janeainsworth Sat 10-Feb-18 18:08:18

anna I think the person who got upset with your DH possibly hadn’t lived in the northwest for very long, or she would have realised that ‘love’ is a perfectly normal way to address people!

Orange123 Sat 10-Feb-18 20:47:11

For me, it depends on the age of the person speaking to me.

If someone younger than I calls me Hon or Dear or the like, I find it condescending. However, if they are older than I am, I quite enjoy it.