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Ageing disgracefully

(122 Posts)
GabriellaG54 Thu 06-Jun-19 15:58:51

Reading about one or two of the vets at the memorial gatherings I was disappointed and yes, disgusted to read that one nudged HM the Queen and made inappropriate remarks to Melanie Trump.
Now I know they are oldies but for heaven's sake, does that mean such behaviour can be overlooked or thought of as acceptable? I think not.
It's just grubby behaviour not chuckleworthy or nudge-nudge wink-wink.
My dad would never have crossed the line thinking his age would make it ok.
It isn't.

Happilyretired123 Sat 08-Jun-19 10:13:55

I am sure Mrs T has had to endure worse from her husband -known for his mysognystic remarks! And that HM would understand no offence was intended. Lighten up-the vet is in his 90s!

GabriellaG54 Sat 08-Jun-19 10:14:04

sarahellenwitney
Role not roll. hmm????

DanniRae Sat 08-Jun-19 11:44:16

Just back from the park with the dog and I didn't get a wolf whistle but definitely a 'look' from a man passing by. It's made my day but probably a case of "Should have gone to SpecSavers!" wink

Summerlove Sat 08-Jun-19 11:46:10

janeainsworth, do we need to extend that same tolarance to current young men in the worlds armies today? I think not! You don’t get to be inappropriate no matter what you have done.

In this case, it’s a little over blown, but the principle applies.

jani, a woman doesn’t have to put up with comments no matter what she’s done in her life. I’m not a fan of the Trumps, but things like that don’t lift other women up at all. Shouldn’t we be supporting vs tearing apart?

It’s not PC madness. Calling it that really undermines the struggle.

janeainsworth Sat 08-Jun-19 12:42:15

do we need to extend that same tolarance to current young men in the worlds armies today? I think not!

I don't understand your comment, Summerlove. We were talking about an old man of 93, who served with the Allied Forces.

Summerlove Sat 08-Jun-19 13:27:00

You said we should extend the courtesy to somebody who was willing to give their life for the country. Current younger men in the military do the same. Do they get a free pass to say whatever they want as well?

I thought it was a pretty clear comment.

My point being, you don’t get to say rude things just because you’re old and just because you were in the military.

janeainsworth Sat 08-Jun-19 13:45:53

You said we should extend the courtesy to somebody who was willing to give their life for the country
Yes, in the context of this thread.
Sorry, not going to get into an argument with you.

Callistemon Sat 08-Jun-19 14:02:46

I cannot see what he said that was untoward..

If he'd said it to me I'd be pleased and might have given him a wink - but I'm not as young or glamorous as Melania. Thankful for any compliments that come my way.

Callistemon Sat 08-Jun-19 14:05:50

Summerlove it wasn't 'a pass' or a nasty, sexual remark.

Quite honestly, I feel sorry for men today with some of the po-faced women there are around.

That is not to say that being sleazy, making totally inappropriate remarks (such as Trump has made in the past) or inappropriate behaviour is anything to be condoned.

This remark does not come in that category.

Are there any male Gransnetters who could be encouraged to comment on this thread?

Lazigirl Sat 08-Jun-19 14:13:52

I think this comment has been completely overblown, but I have often heard similar from older men. The other day one chap told me he had been treated by a gorgeous young physio, and he wished he was 20 years younger and I found it distasteful. I know we live in different times but like Summerlove I don't find it acceptable, and definitely wouldn't if my OH behaved similarly. Not that he's 93!

Magrithea Sat 08-Jun-19 18:24:44

For goodness sake! It was
said in jest and The Donald was right there! He took it in the spirit it was intended so why can't you?

Summerlove Sat 08-Jun-19 19:07:54

The rallying cry of anyone trying to put people down . It’s a joke! Why can’t you take it that way” ??

Callistemon Sat 08-Jun-19 20:28:49

put people down confused

I think it is you who is doing that summerlove

MawBroonsback Sat 08-Jun-19 21:26:36

Did you mean ex- servicemen GabriellaG ?
I find this Americanism “vet” irritating. A vet is someone my dog sees for her booster jabs or when she is poorly.

Was your headmaster father an elderly ex- serviceman?
I had thought you told us your mother was widowed quite young ? confused
Whatever, you could cut them a bit of slack. Did HM seem put out?
None of our or your business then.

MawBroonsback Sat 08-Jun-19 21:30:31

I was an occasional 'life' model in LSA during my late teens/early 20s

Was this before or after the nursing training, raising 4 children and Law degree GG ?
Your CV gets more extensive every week
#hardtokeepupattheback

Callistemon Sat 08-Jun-19 21:34:22

Vets is extremely irritating, I agree.

And I am sure Melania has heard worse.
On a scale of 1-10 of un-pc remarks this registers 0.

Day6 Sat 08-Jun-19 21:46:51

Oh, for goodness' sake!
He probably thought he was being charming about a beautiful woman - he wasn't being sleazy at all

I have pinched your words Callistemon because I am in total agreement.

Poor old boy. He is what my mother might have called a 'charmer' and the Trumps were not offended either.

Do posters think this old soldier, in his nineties, should be frogmarched somewhere for some sort of sensitivity awareness course?

He is of his time and most women of our age who were on the receiving end of wolf whistles and suggestive comments in our youth came through that period unscathed. Sexual harassment is NOT okay, but we live and learn and grow and become more enlightened.

Those who cannot put this incident into some sort of perspective may be in need of much more help than that old, brave (and charming) ex-serviceman is.

MawBroonsback Sat 08-Jun-19 21:46:59

grin
Hardly worth clutching one’s pearls for.

Day6 Sat 08-Jun-19 21:50:11

I not only loathe the word 'vets' (I just typed vests! grin) but hate the modern trend of referring to our armed forces as "the military". Another awful (imo) Americanism creeping in.

Bathsheba Sat 08-Jun-19 22:26:55

Role not roll. hmm ????

Correct me if I'm wrong (I know how you love to do that), but I could have sworn I read in a recent thread that you were going to desist from pointing out people's grammar and spelling mistakes on GN.

You just can't help yourself can you GG?

FarNorth Sat 08-Jun-19 22:48:11

Jeezo, the old guy was meeting the United States President, and the Queen. He can be excused for making a remark without brain being fully engaged.
How much on the ball do we all think we would be, in the same situation.

I don't know if the queen-nudging even happened, or if it was just a joke from the man's daughter.

Lighten up, GG.

janipat Sun 09-Jun-19 00:55:49

GabriellaG54 you state you were a life model for artists and never received inappropriate remarks, but Melania Trump did raunchy nude photo shoots for mens' magazines that I would expect to attract a different audience.
And of course if this old gentleman was 20 years younger he'd be the same age as Donald Trump........

Elvive Sun 09-Jun-19 09:38:26

I thought the comment was toe curling tbh and just because you are very old/served your country does not make it in any way funny.

Having said that, I'm sure a lot of toes were curling under expensive shoes during the visit.

Tooyoungytobeagrandma Sun 09-Jun-19 10:42:04

I think considerimg who she is married to (shudders) a joke from an elderly gentleman would be taken in good spirit. As for saying things you are thinking out loud as you get older well bring it on. Ive held in so much over the last couple years for the sake of "harmony" be great to say what I actally think. But then no doubt someone will say "oh dont mind toyoung shes lost it and dosnt know what shes saying" . My df had altzheimers and said some very strange things but nothing ever nasty or hurtful whereas my fil was vile. Im sure HM has heard worse and is of an age to have seen and heard it all wink

justwokeup Sun 09-Jun-19 15:17:06

I agree the Trumps hear/read much worse every single day. This from the media, who are supposed to be professionals but forget that, and have their own agenda (about everything actually). One old gentleman, being what he perceives to be charming, only made them smile, whatever their own thoughts. Well done Mr President and First Lady for chatting. IMO, when you get to 90+ you can say pretty much what you like even if the rest of us PC people don't like it. I'm sure we can cope with it, I know I do almost every day.