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Privileged Pain

(110 Posts)
TerriBull Tue 17-Sep-19 11:09:13

Can someone explain this to me, according to The Guardian it's what David Cameron experienced when his disabled son died. Is a newspaper able to interpret someone else's grief and speak for them? shock Whilst not in anyway in the same financial bracket as DC, my husband lost his son a few years ago, we weren't, or aren't on our uppers, reasonably comfortably off, in that we are fortunate. Our financial circumstances never mitigated my husband's pain and grief. it's always something he will carry with him.

humptydumpty Wed 18-Sep-19 13:54:45

Slightly off-topic but I found DC's account of the help he had from Sarkozy when his father died very moving.

Anniebach Wed 18-Sep-19 14:05:50

Yes Ben Fogle says it all

Oopsminty Wed 18-Sep-19 15:18:02

This is a discussion we shouldn't be having. The Guardian was very wrong. There has been an apology.

Money will never help in this situation

4allweknow Wed 18-Sep-19 16:53:32

I lost both parents when I was relatively young, but the pain of the l my daughter dying in April is just beyond bearable at times. How can a newspaper relate grief to wealth.

blue60 Wed 18-Sep-19 20:59:50

As a mother of a disabled child myself, I can empathise with ALL those who go through emotional suffering, financial suffering and the daily challenges of trying to do your best by your child.

It is not easy to live with; we worry most about our child's future when we are not around anymore - we try not to dwell on it too much but put things in place so we can be as prepared as possible. We have to jump through hoops to get anything even though money is not an issue for us personally.

The press writing such articles does a huge disservice to all carers, and they should hang their heads in shame. Apalling journalism, if you can call it that.

There is no such thing as 'privileged pain'.

trendygran Wed 18-Sep-19 21:22:27

Anniebach. I echo. Your words exactly. I lost my younger daughter to suicide 9 and a half years ago, just 16 moths after losing my DH very suddenly. There is no connection between any amount of money an dthe grief felt then -and still now ,even though life has to go on ,somehow.

Anniebach Wed 18-Sep-19 22:18:23

blue60 I so admire you

trendygran. Yes life has to go on and so does the pain ,

4allweknow so recent , I hope you have support

True , there is no thing as ‘privileged pain’,

Chaitriona Thu 19-Sep-19 04:39:08

Ordinary people with children with disabilities hoped that because David Cameron had a child who was disabled he would be more understanding of how the government’s policy of austerity was making things particularly hard, in some cases unbearable, for many parents and children in this very vulnerable position and as Prime Minister would do something to mitigate the effects of austerity upon them. But he did not. Being privileged does not protect people from the pain of having a child with disabilities or losing a child. And we should be compassionate to anyone in that situation. However having a child with disabilities and losing that child does not exempt the parent from their own moral responsibilities or David Cameron from his responsibility for the effects of his policies as a politician. He did not show compassion for other families with disabled children in a less financially privileged position than him and his personal grief does not absolve him from that.

janeainsworth Thu 19-Sep-19 08:00:00

Chaitriona Ordinary people with children with disabilities hoped that because David Cameron had a child who was disabled he would be more understanding of how the government’s policy of austerity was making things particularly hard, in some cases unbearable

I am talking very generally now and realise I will get flamed for saying this.

But what you are saying in effect is that politicians should base their policies on their own personal circumstances.
They should not.
They should approach each problem they have to deal with from what is known as the ‘veil of ignorance’ which means that they assess it without any prejudice or prior special knowledge. They have to look at how a law or policy will affect everyone, not just a particular group in society.

I’m not defending the Coalition Government or the Conservative Government’s austerity policy at all.

I’m just saying that to blame David Cameron personally for the effects it had on disabled children because he had a disabled child himself is wrong and unfair.