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Brexit dividing my family.

(432 Posts)
iluvsylvanianfamilies51 Fri 06-Dec-19 13:10:03

I voted leave in 2016 and had no idea it would come to this. I really think this country has never felt more divided. Walking on eggshells when discussing things with friends, family, neighbours. Not wanting to offend but not wanting to back down. It is horrible.

What makes me sad is that it feels like families are splintered and there's so much resentment. Grandkids all voted remain and kids voted remain and leave. All have arguments about it all the time and I feel them getting more closed off to each other.I t is unbearably sad. We shouldnt be divided like this.

I'm sure others feel the same but the reason I post is because my granddaughter sent me this video and I think it articulates it really well. You may not like Labour or momentum but I think we will agree that this tension between leave/remain leaves us weaker. And when I voted in 2016 I didn't think it would be so drawn out. I feel embarrassed about that

twitter.com/PeoplesMomentum/status/1202573131606573056

I have been on the fence about who to vote for but I despise Johnson for his comments on single mothers (AND his racism!) and I think Labour are the best chance we have to get a better leave deal and bring our country back together again. In 2015 I never expected political division to make living rooms tense and communities divided. I wish we could have it back and this stalemate to be over.

Gingergirl Sat 07-Dec-19 09:52:58

Personally, I don’t really think the Brexit issue alone is what divides. I see it as more that it’s brought up to the surface,individual differences between people in all aspects of life. They always were there but it seems that some feel it’s ok to vent them extensively and react against others’ opposing views. It seems that we need to relearn how to exercise tolerance and self responsibility. It’s as if someone has said ‘I want out of the EU...and as you’re asking, theres another thing...and another thing..and this annoys me....and this....’. ?

timetogo2016 Sat 07-Dec-19 09:53:25

Why would anyone argue about poxy Brexit.
I doubt anyone will even notice on a daily basis.
I don`t remember this much fuss when we joined up in the first place.
Were all allowed our own opinions anyway.
I would never dream of saying to anyone they are wrong to vote either way.

KateF Sat 07-Dec-19 09:53:34

I am happy for you Tweedle24, and that is how it should be of course, If you accept that GillT57, why not accept the same courtesy to friends who have differing views to you ??

Or is your view the only view, it be be a boring world if everyone thought like remain robots.

Chaitriona Sat 07-Dec-19 09:59:58

I feel very distressed about the effects Brexit will have on this country, particularly the effects on the NHS as I am elderly and chronically ill. That is selfish, maybe. But I do care about everybody else as well. We will be defenceless against a takeover by American based medical insurance international private companies. Also against big Pharma. The cost of drugs will rise enormously. I can feel rage with people who voted leave if I let myself. I fantasise shouting, “I told you so”. The thing is most of the people who voted leave will be among those most affected by this. I suppose my rage is with a faceless mass. When it comes down to individual people we are all human, fallible, with strengths and weaknesses. I am one such myself. Rage dies. You see the person. I think I will keep my rage for the vested interests who promote and encourage what is worst in people rather than what is best for their own ends.

jo1book Sat 07-Dec-19 10:00:10

This is a Party Political Broadcast for Momentum and all it does is make sure the Tories get in.

josiew58 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:00:12

@growstuff, that's a very sweeping statement, how do you know that I have different values to yours simply based on a decision I made 3 years ago ? People from all walks of life voted for what they believed in and the die was cast. I don't think anyone expected David Cameron, who enabled the vote, to walk away from the result the day after, what did he think was going to happen, he should have been prepared either way. Now it's just turned into a farce, the politicians should all be working together for the good of the country, instead they are all bickering and fighting like children and I'm not confident that there is any one party that actually have a clear vision of the way forward. The here and now with people being murdered on a daily basis should be first and foremost issue and there should be a ceasefire on inhouse fighting while they all get together and agree on an immediate solution !! As for the second referendum that is being offered, if it happens and if the result is the same will it then be accepted or will it go on to be best of three ??

maddyone Sat 07-Dec-19 10:03:16

For God’s sake, nothing is going to happen to the NHS! It’s already half serviced by companies from abroad, many of them in the EU.

Nannan2 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:04:01

Hear hear,Maddyone!smileand Hilarybee? If its upsetting/ hard to cope with to find this out then why would you 'enjoy' asking folk how/why they voted in the first blooming place?hmm

love0c Sat 07-Dec-19 10:05:57

jolbook pleased to hear that!!!!!!

Sb74 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:12:19

I find it all a bit pathetic that families are arguing and falling out I ver it. I might have discussions and debates with mine but it’s not causing any issues. What will be will be. And I think Op you’re bang out of order coming on here trying to encourage people how to vote. I would never want Jeremy Corbyn in power so falling on deaf ears here. Are you part of Labour’s campaign undercover?

Nannan2 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:12:51

We were a united kingdom before we were ever in the previously called 'common market' ( before renamed EU) and we traded with others and we had our NHS,and our schools,our education and everything else,why woulď it be be any different if we're not in it? Or indeed,if we are? Whats done is done but maybe if bickering politicians hadnt dragged it out so long we'd now be settled again and 'on our way up' instead of still worrying,waiting,and wondering? And why not just ban all political stuff on gransnet& mumsnet and make it a politics free zone?hmm

Sb74 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:14:33

I agree that nothing will happen to the NHS. I doubt much of what Corbyn says will happen. He’s just scare mongering. I would be devastated if someone as ridiculous as Corbyn got in. He would ruin this country. I’m backing Boris.

Authoress Sat 07-Dec-19 10:17:27

The difference between Brexit and a normal parliamentary vote is that the result can be regularly changed in the latter, as the normal pendulum swing of politics takes affect.
Brexit, however, was (allegedly) a single one-time vote; and as few people disagree that both the question and the process was deeply flawed (Boris bus, anyone?), it's impossibly divisive.
The consequences for individuals and the country are so great that my belief is that we must have a second referendum, now we have some idea of what it is we're voting for - and this time, have fact-checked statements and a 2/3rds majority, and a clear costed picture of what the Boris deal or a putative Corbyn deal might mean.
If the country actually does want to walk away, knowing the full spectrum of the consequences, then fine; let's do it. But we are very far from that informed consensus view atm.

CarlyD7 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:18:18

This reminds me of a family get together in Devon last summer. Fuelled by alcohol, an argument broke out between a grandparent (who voted Leave) and a grandson (who had voted Remain) - he's also a hospital doctor and gave them a blow by blow account of the staff he's lost since the Referendum. He also pointed out his resentment of a generation who had enjoyed (in his words) "secure jobs, final salary pensions and the right to work and live wherever they chose in Europe" pulling up the ladders behind them, one by one, so that his generation had none of that. His mother shushed him up, but he was obviously seething. Apparently, the rift has still not been healed. I suspect that this is going on up and down the country, sadly.

CarlyD7 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:20:24

@Authoress Completely agree. If we walk away then, we know what we're losing and what the new deal is. 3 years ago it was all too vague and too simplistic.

CarlyD7 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:20:25

@Authoress Completely agree. If we walk away then, we know what we're losing and what the new deal is. 3 years ago it was all too vague and too simplistic.

NannyG123 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:20:25

I voted to leave, still think we should leave, although I don't trust any of them. My dd and sil voted remain. I don't like confrontation so we just agree to disagree.

jo1book Sat 07-Dec-19 10:22:08

This post is a political tactic. You start to talk to grans about family and then slide in an advert for Momentum. Very crafty. Might work with some people but not with the wise women on here.
If Labour lose next week, Momentum are doomed to fade They are fighting for heir political life.

4allweknow Sat 07-Dec-19 10:27:49

Why are so many comments about racism and Brexit? There must be some who voted to leave who are not racists but perhaps looked at the Canadian Australian, American etc systems for immigration systems. On racism I have had experience of this between Scotland and England since the 70s and it it still goes on. Basically based in "these English bast..ds coming up taking our jobs, buying our houses, free education" so would suggest a bit more thought on calling someone out on racism towards EU immigrants when its rampant between our own nations. Don't discuss referendum, politics with anyone, the vote is private, you can keep it that way, if you want, or be lead into arguments, its your choice.

Sb74 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:27:56

I have reported this post as when I read again it reads so obviously as as PR stunt.

Hm999 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:31:51

I work hard at not discussing politics or religion with friends, neighbours, in-laws etc. But if I found that friends didn't care about poverty or racism, I would distance myself. (Neighbours and in-laws are harder to lose)

Pix5 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:31:54

My family are not divided. We respect each other’s opinions. I don’t agree with their politics and they mine. I’m not going to force my opinions on my kids like my parents did me.

Sb74 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:34:52

I don’t think the OP has been back since called out about this being a political post. I don’t think it’s a genuine post. It’s an insult to our intelligence is what it is.

Mollygo Sat 07-Dec-19 10:42:12

Like others I have friends and family who voted differently. I voted remain, but don’t berate some of my children for voting leave. We don’t let it interfere in family or friendships. Some from both camps are more overtly racist than others. Some get heated in discussions (which is why we mostly avoid political discussions). The only mistake everyone made and continues to make was to believe what politicians say or promise will happen. On that we’re ALL agreed on.

Stella14 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:42:14

Well said Growstuff. It seems increasingly that so many Leavers are all about ‘winning’. Yet when asked, can’t give a sensible answer about the value of leaving the EU beyond the usual platitudes.

Fortunately, among my family and friends, only my granddaughter’s husband voted leave. We all make a point of not discussing it with him. If there is a second referendum though, my granddaughter will no doubt revisit it with him.