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The Queen's Speech on Thursday

(52 Posts)
Gaunt47 Mon 16-Dec-19 07:24:25

We have been told that the Queen's speech at the opening of parliament will be shorter than usual, so I would like to suggest the following text:
"Listen up, you horrible lot of time wasters. Just get on with it. I've had enough of the arguments and the procrastination. Alright? Right. Otherwise heads will roll. There's probably still something in the constitution which allows me to get rid of the lot of you if I want to. You've been warned."
Does anyone have any other ideas about what could be succinctly added so that the poor woman can get home promptly to take her crown off and have a nice cup of tea?

travelsafar Mon 16-Dec-19 07:51:33

Anyone know what time this will be on please. Didn't get my weekend mag with tv guide this weekend.

H1954 Mon 16-Dec-19 07:59:41

Yes Gaunt47, that looks just ideal to me! Straight to the point, appropriate and HM can get home and crack on with her Christmas preparations! 😆

Anniebach Mon 16-Dec-19 08:26:17

Dennis Skinner will be missed

Tooting29 Mon 16-Dec-19 08:30:41

I am reading this on behalf of my Government. Some of it is true and will be delivered and other bits perhaps not. I still want to be Queen of Scotland and spend my summer holidays there. Just stop arguing and get on with it

endlessstrife Mon 16-Dec-19 09:13:07

It’s always 3pm. It’s not live, so don’t worry about her getting a cup of tea!

Elegran Mon 16-Dec-19 09:35:40

"Let me tell you a story. My Prime Minister wrote this one. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far away . . . ."

" . . . . and they all lived happily ever after"

Smileless2012 Mon 16-Dec-19 09:49:01

Spot on I would say Gaunt, you could have a future helping the Queen write her speechestchgrin.

Urmstongran Mon 16-Dec-19 09:58:00

I’d love to think when HM was asked again she’d be like ‘Brenda from Bristol’!

‘What - ANOTHER ONE?’
🤣

Callistemon Mon 16-Dec-19 10:08:54

Gaunt47 that gave me a laugh grin

Urmston, love Brenda from Bristol
"Not anotherrr one"

Elegran grin

A bit of lighthearted fun on a rather gloomy Monday, thanks Gaunt and everyone

Davida1968 Mon 16-Dec-19 10:13:34

Thanks Gaunt47. I love it!

NotSpaghetti Mon 16-Dec-19 10:14:24

Elegran 🤣

Marjgran Mon 16-Dec-19 10:17:54

Some are muddling the Christmas message with the official Queens Speech listing the government objectives for the new parliament

Authoress Mon 16-Dec-19 10:20:28

Let's have proportional representation next time so that people actually have a chance of their votes being meaningful. And fact-checking of all manifesto and election claims.

Wilma65 Mon 16-Dec-19 10:26:05

It’s usually about 11 am

Callistemon Mon 16-Dec-19 10:26:18

I can't see any muddling Marjgran - all posts seem to relate to the State opening of Parliament on Thursday.

She's probably wondering why the heck Boris chose December, she has to get all dressed up in her posh frock, no warm coat, go out in the cold and wear that heavy crown.

"Not another one!"

mimismo Mon 16-Dec-19 10:27:56

Stop faffing about and earn your wages!

Margs Mon 16-Dec-19 10:47:11

Spot on Gaunt47. I wish the Queen would say EXACTLY that.....

Jillybird Mon 16-Dec-19 10:47:21

LOVE all the above! I'd want to add: I, as Monarch, would like you to consult with the users of schools, the users of the NHS and those affected by lack of police BEFORE you make final decisions as to how to proceed with 'improvements'. Any extra money for services needs to be targeted where it will help users (not to pay expensive "consultants"). The End

grannygranby Mon 16-Dec-19 10:48:33

Callistemon, endlessstrife said it was always 3pm thinking it was that other queens speech. Marjgran was right

cathieb Mon 16-Dec-19 10:51:50

hear hear Jillybird.... and a lot more in similar vein to cut through all the un-thought-out spend spend spend nonsense of the last few weeks!

grannygranby Mon 16-Dec-19 11:00:10

I’m gently startled that anyone takes any notice of what the queen says at any time.we never watched it at home without any great fuss just seemed ininformative platitudes. I didn’t realise we were such an anti monarchical family.
As for opening of parliament it’s her job. It’s a spectacle, utterly meaningless she reads a script read by the new government of which she had no say. She is in a gilded cage. Irrelevant.
You’d think at her age she have nothing to lose in speaking truth as she sees it, but no, she serves the status quo whatever it is as long as her family survives. Sacrifices all integrity. Dream on

TrendyNannie6 Mon 16-Dec-19 11:00:59

Love it Mimismo

ReadyMeals Mon 16-Dec-19 11:01:56

Maybe Charles could deliver it this time.

Nannan2 Mon 16-Dec-19 11:06:50

Do you mean her christmas day speech,Endlesstrife? Yes that's always 3pm.but i think op meant the parliament speech.isn't that a different one? Anyway,she won't dare say too much cause i think i read somewhere that government STILL has the power to have the reigning monarch put to death?(unless of course she gets it in for them first?)tchgrin