Hands up, how many of us have an unplanned pregnancy?

? @Galaxy me neither

Yes, our lovely first. Had been told after my car accident and nearly losing my leg - that I should not get pregnant due to bone depletion - so ... I did.

I was 3 months pregnant be the time we found out.Happy days.

What now?

None of mine were actually planned they came along when they came along

MOnica, please don't apologise, well done/lucky you x

My first and third children were unplanned. Only the middle one was "costed out".

First and third left us broke, and we were so grateful to both sets of our parents who helped us out enormously.

We didn't get any benefits other than Child Benefit, apart from one 18 month period when my husband was out of work

Respect to all you parents, and now, grandparents. My mother had four children, she died after the fourth one was born. My father fought tooth and nail to stop the authorities from taking his children from him and putting us into care. We got through it, but it wrecked his health.

That experience probably influenced his children. The eldest two have no children, I am the eldest, the youngest two have just one apiece. Both have grown up and have one apiece of their own.

We have always been surrounded by babies though and we are Godparents to eight children. We saw them grow, we had them stay to give parents a break, we went to their weddings and we welcomed the next generation.

So here we are, fifty two years married, still together, still in love, still buying her surprise bouquets, favourite chocolates and the fragrances that she so loves, but no children of our own, and that's not due to fertility issues.
I do hope I have put that in a sensitive way.

When I had my first child the woman in the next bed, who had just had her sixth, told me that every one of her children had been concieved when she had been relying on a different type of contraceptive.

I was told that I was infertile and believed them. I wasn't.

Nope. One planned pregnancy, one child.

DGS however was a miracle baby. DD didn't want children but is anti abortion. I was desperate for a grandchild.

To me, he has is a perfect miracle.

My first unexpected, not confirmed until 5 months pregnant, long story, quick pregnancy

I was told, newly married, after a long spell in hospital, that I probably wouldn't have children. I had three, each one a surprise and a blessing. After each one I was told, No More. I did stop after the third one, as I nearly lost her and I spent most of that pregnancy in hospital.
DH would have loved more.

Our "late lamb" seventeen years after the first was a surprise. I had perimenopause symptoms and had a D&C. I actually thought I was very ill so to realise it was a baby was a relief and a joy!

DD was an accident after I had to come off the pill. Seemed like a disaster at the time, but we liked her so much we had another. Or, as DS always says when he gets into another mess, "Remember I'm the one you wanted"

Deedaa

DS arrived 11 months after DD1. Unplanned but definitely not unwanted.

We waited three years before having DD2 though

Out of interest are me and Lava the only ones who were utterly reckless in their approach to contraception in their youth? A lot of these sound like contraceptive failures rather than no contraception .

Yes me too. It wasn't exactly planned but a very welcome surprise.

Two, then I got sterilised.

Galaxy now- I went to see my GP, who was a friend of the family, as soon as I became sexually active when I was 16 (maybe 15?) in a loving relationship. He was really great, and said he was so pleased to see me rather than see me later for an abortion. And he told the receptionist, who was also a friend of my parents, that I was there for painful periods.

When I was 22, was not having periods anymore and on the pill. As I had to spend time in hospital for further ops on my leg and get metalwork out- I stopped the pill and periods did not return. When I went to see OH's boss to see if anything was wrong- after a chat he said he would check if anything was actually wrong. He left my side and phoned OH, his Junior 'what is the most common cause of amenorea (sp?) - silence and then 'yes you pillock'. Came back and said, well young lady you are at least 3 months pregnant- I did not have a clue and was very slim in those days.

I struggled to become pregnant with DD1 and was about to attend sub fertility clinic a week before realising I was (4months) pregnant. We had saved money and calculated that we could afford 9 months Mat Leave then I would work p/t. My mum kindly offered to provide some childcare. I returned to work p/t as planned having opted for an IUD as contraception at my 6 week post natal check up. 6 months later I was unexpectedly pregnant again and the IUD was removed when I was 6 weeks pregnant. So I understand how the best laid plans can go awry and cause stress & strain on budgets and family life. Our 2nd DD was as welcome & loved as DD1 but it was a struggle!

Galaxy

I didnt but I have absolutely no idea how I got away with it in my early twenties.

More luck than judgement with me, too. I remember writing in my diary once ‘am I pregnant: do I want to be’. In later years I reached the conclusion that when we’re in our late teens/early twenties there is an overwhelming desire to procreate.

Oh that's interesting, I thought it was more of the youthful it will never happen to me type of thinking. In the same way that I took risks with my personal safety that I wouldn't do now.

I was conceived on the Coil.
My son was conceived while I was on the pill
And I miscarried on the implant.

My third was happily unplanned. The world would be a worse place without her.