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Boris in Isolation-where is he? what will he do?

(114 Posts)
trisher Mon 16-Nov-20 10:18:10

Day 1 Well here I am in my bedroom. Isolated for 14 days. one good thing yah won't have to see that B** Starmer for 2 whole weeks. Let Rishi or Gove answer him. Caveat emptor and all that. Now what's for breakfast?
I leave the more creative GNers to add to this

Iam64 Mon 16-Nov-20 18:54:00

lemon - please keep them coming, I'm sure you're on a hot line to number 11

Iam64 Mon 16-Nov-20 18:53:26

Carrie - please just for once put me first. That dog doesn't need your attention I do. I'm isolating and I'm told there's a so called humorous thread on a blinkin' social media site for grannies where even they're havin' a larf at my expense. It's beyond a joke.
Ok ok ok ok, I getit. You've the dog to walk, Wilfred to bath , change, feed and put to bed. Bottom of the pile as ever. I'm phoning out for a pizza and having another glass of whisky - supposed to be good for preventin' the virus returnin'.

Ellianne Mon 16-Nov-20 18:02:42

"Well, that was a painful briefing to watch, but not half as painful as this vaccine is going to be, I hate needles. Hope I don't have to pose for the cameras with my arm outstretched. Didn't that former prince turned celebrity take an AIDS test for the cameras once? (^for*Lucca*!^)
What the hell was pink tie man thinking calling Jono JVT? Sounded like a drink of some sort. Pour me a glass Carrie.
Then I heard something about placing our "bets". Ooer. Get me out of here as soon as possible. I need to say it as it is, in words of one syllable."

varian Mon 16-Nov-20 17:43:43

Before "Dear Bill" there was "Mrs Wilson's diary"

I'm not a regular reader of private eye but I wonder whether Norma Major, Cherie Blair, Sarah Brown, Sam Cameron or Philip May have made a contribution?

I'm sure they would all have had some good stories to tell.

Daddima Mon 16-Nov-20 17:40:27

Lemongrove, I am reminded of the marvellous ‘Dear Bill’ letters in Private Eye !
I salute you.

Ellianne Mon 16-Nov-20 17:39:11

grin

varian Mon 16-Nov-20 17:36:57

It sounds so authentic lemon. Have you got the flat at 10 Downing Street bugged?

lemongrove Mon 16-Nov-20 17:33:14

What a day, the damn phone never stopped ringing.Hoping for chops for dinner tonight and have suggested same to Carrie.She says fine, and will I do some cous cous with them and some grilled tomatoes ( am not entirely sure that was a joke, so am slightly worried now.)
Anyway, time to sink back on the the sofa with an early glass of vino and watch Hancocks Half Hour, wonder if he will still be wearing that pink tie? The man needs a trip to Jermyn Street to see a good tailor....not that I should really do sartorial advice.
Was slightly bored about 4pm so looked at Tinder for a while.
Carrie burst in while I was absorbed and I shut my ipad up so quickly that my thumb got caught in it....jolly painful.
She wanted to know who had been ordering Peppa Pig pyjamas on Amazon.Honestly! Now her present is no longer a surprise.

Grany Mon 16-Nov-20 16:52:19

I was beginning to feel the heat that Starmer chap was on my case no where to hide, where's the fridge? Having a little break now, self isolating, Where's dinner got to keep my strength up Get Brexit Done. Oh that was Dom's slogan I expect another one will just pop into my head I always think of something diversionary tactics you know that sort of thing.

trisher Mon 16-Nov-20 16:40:39

Bof!!! Rishi on TV standing on a roof somewhere- missed my chance there!! Matt's doing the press conference- must watch I need a laugh.
Carrie says there's no chocolate biscuits and I'm dieting anyway, thnk she's changing from the girl I fell for!

kircubbin2000 Mon 16-Nov-20 16:05:54

Do you really think he's going to stay in his room for 2 weeks? He could sneak down to Chequers after dark .?

biba70 Mon 16-Nov-20 15:59:07

trisher

Blast can't even do brackets properly grin

don't even have square brackets on this keyboard ;)

Callistemon Mon 16-Nov-20 15:57:50

And Ellianne ???

trisher Mon 16-Nov-20 15:57:36

Blast can't even do brackets properly grin

Ellianne Mon 16-Nov-20 15:57:09

"So, now on to the Christnas menu .........
Hmm, well we can still have Turkey this year but can't possibly cover it in Danish bacon. Brussel sprouts are definitely off, as are Viennese whirls, stollen and panettone. Won't be having any smörgäsbord suppers nor tappas anymore for Christmas, but caviar should be ok.
I'm suddenly feeling rather Hungary. Carrie fetch me a sandwich. I'll do the drinks list later. I might just have to relent on the champagne."

trisher Mon 16-Nov-20 15:57:02

Thanks so much lemonreally appreciate you getting things back on track - Brilliant!!! [grin[

lemongrove Mon 16-Nov-20 15:52:03

?I just have a fertile imagination.

Callistemon Mon 16-Nov-20 15:47:24

lemongrove
???

Juliet27 Mon 16-Nov-20 15:45:20

I was going to ask exactly the same Ellianne.

Ellianne Mon 16-Nov-20 15:36:31

Brilliant lemongrove?
Are you a playwright by any chance?

lemongrove Mon 16-Nov-20 15:34:18

“Tried to explain to Carrie that I need a little bell to ring so that she can bring me drinks and sausage rolls and stuff, but she shrieked ‘In your dreams! You’re not actually ill you know!’ “Aren’t I! I mused “I could be, we don’t actually know yet”. Carrie gave me one of her looks and went out muttering that she can only deal with one baby at a time.
Later, after I’d gone down to the kitchen to make myself a bacon sandwich, Dom rang.He sounded irritable, ‘Look’ he
said, ‘this working from home thing, how long’s it going to go
on ?’ I thought for a second and replied “Well, I have to self isolate for ten days, so another nine to go!” He snorted down the phone ‘not you! Me..you idiot’.Had better be cautious here I thought, Dom can go off like a bomb otherwise.. “Hmm, well, let’s just see how this week goes shall we? I said, trying to sound soothing but optimistic at the same time, “how’s the moonshot coming along?” There was a sound like a cat being strangled and a flurry of f**k f**k’s and he rang off.
Took my sandwich back upstairs and sat down at my desk, so much to do and so little time. Ordered half of Carrie’s Christmas presents on Amazon and looked at a few things on
Youtube for a laugh.There was a strange slurping sound from
Under the coffee table.....Dilyn was eating my bacon sarnie,
Buggeration!

Ellianne Mon 16-Nov-20 15:27:25

Anyway, back to the job in hand.
" Now, what colour lights shall I order for the No.10 Christmas tree this year? Certainly not 12 gold (EU) stars."

Ellianne Mon 16-Nov-20 15:20:15

Lucca

What is a Boris basher ? Someone who criticises the Prime Minister ?
Ok
But criticising Prince Harry’s wife isn’t Meghan bashing apparently. Hmm. Interesting.

It's the alliteration that does it for me Lucca. I couldnt think of one of Meghan, but feel free!

Whingingmom Mon 16-Nov-20 15:09:13

“ A good opportunity to revamp my look -I’ll send Carrie to Boots to get me a home perm and a box of Nice n Easy Blondest Blonde”

Lucca Mon 16-Nov-20 15:05:25

What is a Boris basher ? Someone who criticises the Prime Minister ?
Ok
But criticising Prince Harry’s wife isn’t Meghan bashing apparently. Hmm. Interesting.