Is MILF an acceptable term?

I was disappointed to hear that any candidate would use language like this about women even if, by today's standards, it is quite mild. IMO we have, over the recent decades, allowed language used in all sorts of quarters, venues and situations to become much cruder and coarse. Expressions like this have been 'normalised'. I sometimes wonder if people in the street, shops etc know any other word except the 'F...' word. It seems we have reached a situation where the 'shock' factor in films, books, speech has to be even more extreme than the one before to attract customers. But then of course, people don't want censorship as they are adult enough to decide for themselves. I remember the days when a man would have silenced these types of comment with the expression "Ladies present' or 'not in front of the children. But that in itself opens up another can of worms.

trisher

The Labour candidate for Hartlepool tweetedyears ago that someone was a MILF. Is he a misogynist or just a badly informed young man, and is he suitable as a Labour candidate?

I don't think it's necessarily misogynist. Some men use it as [what they see as] a compliment. It's a way of saying someone looks sexy and 'hot' which, when you consider how some women actually make an effort to look sexy and hot, is not all that outrageous. I'm sure some people would take it as a compliment in the same way others would take a "You look nice" as a compliment.

Disclaimer: I know zilch about the Labour candidate for Hartlepool but I've seen MILF used apparently inoffensively.
As usual, context matters. I think personalities probably matter too, as in who says it about (or to) whom.

I think it could give Hartlepool a bad name, and considering the sitting MP has just resigned because of sexual harrassment allegations.

It would be unfair for it to give a whole town a bad name. It could certainly reflect badly on the man who used it, even though it was years ago, as this thread would witness.

He was standing for the Crime Commisoners post in the local elections and had done a lot of campaigning, especially in Hartlepool, but what happens to that work now, and who will stand in his place, we haven't had any answers yet, but to stand down at this late date to my mind isn't good for anyone.

Baggs

trisher

The Labour candidate for Hartlepool tweetedyears ago that someone was a MILF. Is he a misogynist or just a badly informed young man, and is he suitable as a Labour candidate?

I don't think it's necessarily misogynist. Some men use it as [what they see as] a compliment. It's a way of saying someone looks sexy and 'hot' which, when you consider how some women actually make an effort to look sexy and hot, is not all that outrageous. I'm sure some people would take it as a compliment in the same way others would take a "You look nice" as a compliment.

Disclaimer: I know zilch about the Labour candidate for Hartlepool but I've seen MILF used apparently inoffensively.
As usual, context matters. I think personalities probably matter too, as in who says it about (or to) whom.

Just for once, Baggs, I agree with you.

And, TBH, I don't think that that acronym would greatly bother many of the voters of Hartlepool.

Surely it all comes down to educating males that females are far more than sexy and hot and that they should think about the language they use referring to/describing females.

I also think that females should be equally aware of their language when referring to males.

GrannyGravy13

Surely it all comes down to educating males that females are far more than sexy and hot and that they should think about the language they use referring to/describing females.

I also think that females should be equally aware of their language when referring to males.

Yes, but being sexy is actually pretty important for a species that reproduces sexually.

If males need educating about women, why aren't we doing it? Rhetorical question. I think most males know perfectly well what women are and what they are "worth". How many gransnetters have husbands or partners who don't?

Baggs if being sexy and hot was a prerequisite to finding a partner to reproduce with there would be an awful lot of single childless people in the world.

Not true, nor following logically from what I said.

What a few nature programmes. Sexiness is massively important but that doesn't mean less sexy animals don't get partners.

But we digress.

This, from Giles Coren, gives some perspective, I think:

"Williams can take some solace, like me, from the fact that he has now been fully audited by the thought police and this was the worst they could find. He seems to have been at a dinner party when he sent his tweet, so I’m guessing he’d had a few drinks. Weird to think that if, instead of tweeting, he had got in his car and accidentally run Mensch over on the way home, he’d be out of prison now and rebuilding his life in peace. As it is, his sentence may be only just beginning."

That comparison by Coren is so meaningless I dont even have the energy to counter it. I would disagree that it's meant as a compliment, and its interesting that there isnt a similar phrase for men. Certainly when its used in the street(which I accept is different) it is used in a hostile way.

That comparison is utter nonsense - just because he hasn't killed someone whilst being over the limit doesn't make that Tweet OK.

Quite a high bar to measure misdemeanours against.

it was about Louise Mensch??

I know that the first thing my OH was attracted to wasn’t my brain? then he found out he got both ?

I have never heard of this person who used this word in a
tweet. It makes me wonder if he ever used it on the street to a woman.
A few posters have said it is a compliment and means hot and sexy.

Are we all in agreement that we know what the abbreviated
word M.I.L.F stands for. If we are then those who think that it is a compliment are obviously talking to the wrong men.
I had it said to me from someone on the street and was not impressed and without using strong words on this thread
I told him what he could do with himself.

I think someone posted that Adrian Dunbar was now regarded as a DILF, so someone is using the term about men.

there isn't a similar phrase for me

According to Coren there is, or certainly was: "I am, or used to be, regularly singled out as a “TV Dilf” on gay websites"

*men

x posts, T

They are not really though are they, only in reaction to this incident.

Galaxy

They are not really though are they, only in reaction to this incident.

Don'r think it is anything to do with this simply a term young women do use. It may well have originated in the gay community.

I wonder why we havent heard of any female politicians etc using it when someone trawls through their twitter if it's in common usage.

Well I wonder why the other 429 male MPs haven't used MILF?
It's really no sort of an argument or discussion is it?