AussieNanna I think that many people agree with you that people who medically and surgically transition are a different category from those who simply 'identify' as the opposite sex based on 'feelings' about 'gender'.
Many of us are sympathetic to those who have surgically transitioned, and are supportive of their right to live as they choose. What we are unhappy with, however, is the concept of 'gender' and we worry that if things continue as they are, anyone who does not conform to stereotypes of acceptable behaviour for their sex group will be assumed to be 'in the wrong body'. We also worry about the fact that female spaces exist for a reason, and if any man who says he is a woman can enter them, there is no point in their being there in the first place. Then there is the issue of language, which is being changed to eradicate women as a sex class. Interestingly, the word 'man' is not being removed from official documents.
Sorry if I am wide of the mark here, but I get the impression that you are not a TRA, but someone who is sensitive to the needs of those who (for want of a better term) refer to as genuine transpeople. You are not alone in that on here, but it seems as though wires have got crossed somewhere.