Nicola Bulley 45y Old mum of 2 little girls missing from River Wyre area since last Friday morning at 9:15am walking her dog, Willow.

Yes Anniebach its true, it is very patchy.

On night last year - before I was in gransnet - I received a worrying WhatsApp from someone that I thought needed alerting the crisis team - and found out that for the whole of a very large city, there were two - yes just two workers struggling to cope at night. Based in A and E of course but no ability ti go out. (more in daytime)

I'm so sorry you had that experience with your GP Kate1949 I'm afraid a lot of GP's are not experienced enough to make good judgments and you were not helped.

But there is still help out there I would not want to put people off trying as over the years I have had good support as well as some less so:

what I would say is that when someone is very poorly there is an appalling lack of "place of safety" care. those peole sent home too early, or seen and there was no place on a ward to offer after a home visit when 5 years ago there would have been, this is what we are up against.

Nevertheless if we could take some of the shame and fear out of it and the disparaging and judgmental attitude Ailidh alludes too it can only help.

I missed the tv statement so went on BBC news online and was very disappointed to see the BBC write up constantly referred to this lady as Bulley not Mrs/ Miss or even Nicola just Bulley that seems disrespectful to me maybe it’s just my thinking but ….

Professionally, I have encountered three suicides - all middle aged men. Two were farmers; one shot himself in the churchyard, another jumped in front of a train. The third was one of my business partners who hanged himself, always jolly, a lovely man. No rational explanation in any case but all haunt me still and always will.

Germanshepherdsmum

The diver (I assume the specialist) says they were not instructed to look in the reeds? What sort of pathetic excuse is that? IIRC, he said if she was in the river his team would have found her. The only likelihood of that standing up is that she was washed out to sea and she was subsequently carried back by the tide. That’s a bit dubious I think. We will of course hear what the pathologist finds.

As if the reeds were not part of the river, especially at high tide. What that diver has been saying sounds very defensive to me, as if he wasn't quite the expert he was made out to be.

It is a sad case. Poor Nicola. RIP.

A not unexpected but very sad conclusion. I hope the family will be left to grieve in peace.

Just catching up. Annie, you are a wise and loving mother. Gsm has responded making what seem to me to be appropriate ‘comparisons’ between her mothers intervention to post natal depression and the long term serious problems you supported your daughter with.

Those of us with professional and or personal experiences of suicide aren’t surprised Nicola seemed happy the morning it seems she took her life.

Exactly Iam64 you had a wonderful relationship with your daughter anniebach and we can never underestimate that they are not thinking with the same brain process as they normally would
Please never think about anything except the good times xx

BlueBelle

I missed the tv statement so went on BBC news online and was very disappointed to see the BBC write up constantly referred to this lady as Bulley not Mrs/ Miss or even Nicola just Bulley that seems disrespectful to me maybe it’s just my thinking but ….

Yes, I really dislike that.

It is disrespectful.

Thank you Iam BlueBelle , yes I was blessed .

There is no evidence that Nicola Bulley committed suicide. She had some vulnerabilities but the existence of vulnerabilities doesn't inevitably mean she committed suicide. Wait for the inquest.

I read that the body was caught under the half-submerged trunk of a tree that had fallen. The behaviour of a body after death, the stomach inflating etc etc and the movement of the river and tide mean that her body could have moved down river quite away with the tide/riverflow - and back and that a body on the bottom and one starting to float may move in different ways, we do not know how long it had been under the tree before it started to float out again.

However the time it has taken to indentify the body does suggest that it was in the deteriorated condition a body that had been in the river for 3 weeks would be in and puts paid to the conspiracy story someone was peddling that she had been murdered and her body put in the river where it was found quite recently.

Kate1949

'Dont be ashamed, go for help' is all very well. My GP couldn't get me out of her surgery quickly enough when I burst into tears and was shaking with anxiety and stress. I listen to TV doctors encouraging us to get help. There isn't much help out there in my experience. Poor Nicola.

Kate1949

That's awful. I feel for you - you must have been very distressed to reach that stage.

As for the 'help', it simply is not available to most.

I know someone who is in a dreadful state of anxiety - his earliest appointment will be in June. I fear for him.

I’m sorry to hear these stories. I have met with only kindness and understanding from GPs, and I too have consulted them in floods of tears, barely coherent. I can’t praise them highly enough.

Kate1949 thank the government for never putting any money into the mental health teams they are understaffed and running in zero
Do check out counselling services in the charity field they are alternatives

Another here saddened but not surprised by the recent news. I await the inquest findings.

In the meantime, with this deeply upsetting news my heartfelt condolences go out to all who knew and loved Nicola, especially her partner, sister, parents and those little girls x a very solemn night indeed.

Dickens the Sams are there just to talk and listen, also check out your local Mental Health help, there may be something to keep him going. Remember you can always turn up at A and E if close to wanting to die things get said. Is he getting temporary meds help for anxiety from GP?

Trouble is, you do have to "shout"and that comes hard when your mind is poorly.

I can't see that the post mortem will answer any questions. The family will just be left wondering.

My neighbour, who was ill (physically) was found in the river but we never will know what happened. Did she fall in, jump in - or was someone else involved?

Wyllow3

Dickens the Sams are there just to talk and listen, also check out your local Mental Health help, there may be something to keep him going. Remember you can always turn up at A and E if close to wanting to die things get said. Is he getting temporary meds help for anxiety from GP?

Trouble is, you do have to "shout"and that comes hard when your mind is poorly.

... thanks.
Yes, he's medicated. But his anxiety is over-riding the drug.

I've already mentioned A&E. I will keep an eye on him. It's worrying...

varian

Many years ago we knew a young farmer who shot himself. He used to go to our village pub and was always so cheery - the life and soul of the party.

The farming industry certainly has its share of suicides.

Long, long hours, often working alone in the fields, social life suffers, financial problems, and of course, often legitimate access to firearms.

Surely the PM will show how long she was in the water, did she die from drowning or was she dumped afterwards so a few questions will be answered. This will all come out at the Inquest when a verdict will be made by the coroner based on the evidence to hand. Until then an open mind should be kept. Nicola is at peace but her family may never get there.

Farmers along with Doctors have the highest suicide rates because they have the means to carry it out.

About 30 yrs ago a local farmer drank poison, he had a young family no money problems, no reason at all. The only conclusion I can think of is manic depression, like anorexia very difficult to overcome.

Manic depression is now known as Bipolar, it is a serious mental illness , impossible for the sufferer to hide the fact

Anniebach

Manic depression is now known as Bipolar, it is a serious mental illness , impossible for the sufferer to hide the fact

Thanks Annie that rings true mood swings and high suicide rate.

I agree Annie. Some forms of mental illness are difficult to hide, as with my brother. I knew someone with a supposed perfect life - beautiful wife, two lovely children, good job etc. He was always posting happy pictures on Facebook, pictures of him and his wife at glamorous events. He took his own life.

Kate1949, I'm so sorry you were treated in that manner, but sadly, from personal experience, I'm not surprised either. I have a friend whose daughter had a long history of mental illness, including a number of previous suicide attempts. She was released from hospital despite telling her doctors that if she was, she fully intended to take her own life - and she did just that, aged only 19. My own DiL also had a long history of mental health issues and was badly let down by the system too. Some people can hide their issues, but others are very clearly crying out for help and don't receive it.

Thank you Blondiescot. I'm sorry about your friend's daughter and your DIL. It's not easy that's for sure. We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.