Nicola Bulley 45y Old mum of 2 little girls missing from River Wyre area since last Friday morning at 9:15am walking her dog, Willow.

Kate1949

Thank you Blondiescot. I'm sorry about your friend's daughter and your DIL. It's not easy that's for sure. We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

Oh so true.

I honestly don't think anyone really understands just how devastating it can be unless they've suffered themselves. It's so difficult to convey to others in words what it is like.

TBH, I've had cancer (twice) and even that didn't compare with the horror of depression. I overcame the cancer diagnoses easier than the depression. Maybe because I understood what I was up against... not so with depression, it's almost unfathomable.

varian

I am still quite puzzled about why this particular disappearance has been subject to such a media frenzy when thousands of people disappear every year in this country - and most are hardly reported.

I'm sure that this was subject to a media/social media frenzy because the police didn't release the information about Nicola's problems right from the very start.

If they had, it would have prevented the armchair detectives, the social media speculation, the awful nastiness of it all. They allowed the mysteriousness of it to develop, and gave the 'crucial' information out only when the situation had got out of hand.

If a person with 'issues' is reported missing, the natural tendency is to think the person has probably committed suicide, to think 'how sad', and to leave it alone.

She didn't have many more issues than any other woman her age though, did she? Liked to drink to much and peri-menopausal...how is that not the norm? Those things were highlighted by her partner to the police. But what do the GP's records say? What do her friends say about her? About the dynamics in her family relationships? The police are useless and are going to want this closed but for those who aren't zombies there may be far more to this than we are being fed.

We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

Very true indeed. I admit, years ago, I was guilty of thinking many people with mental health problems just needed to give themselves a good shake or pull themselves together. How wrong was I? I'm so ashamed that I once felt like that. Along came the menopause, and I soon found out for myself just what it's like to fight a battle with what's going on in your own head. I've been taking anti-depressants for some time
now and they've made a huge difference. No-one really understands until they've experienced it for themselves.

You don’t know what issues she had GrammyGrammy. None of us do. We will hear more about her vulnerabilities when evidence is given at the inquest. Drinking too much is not ‘the norm’ during the peri menopause or at any other time, nor is having the police and unspecified welfare officials called to your home because of the way you are behaving.

Why do you say the police are useless? They said all along that they believed she was in the river, as she was. We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

CatsCatsCats
I’m sure that this was subject to a media/social media frenzy because the police didn't release the information about Nicola's problems right from the very start.

If they had, it would have prevented the armchair detectives, the social media speculation, the awful nastiness of it all. They allowed the mysteriousness of it to develop, and gave the 'crucial' information out only when the situation had got out of hand.

If a person with 'issues' is reported missing, the natural tendency is to think the person has probably committed suicide, to think 'how sad', and to leave it alone.

I wish I believed that.
The appalling lack of respect for Nicola’s family and friends and the local community shown by the speculation and suggestions on line in social media and even the mainstream media, and by physical presence invading the scene and harassing the inhabitants doesn’t reflect well on what sort of society we have become.
On the radio today one presenter was saying that she’d only clicked on a link to Nicola Bulley in an investigative way to see how many others (millions in some cases) had visited a TikTok site and what the ‘algorithms’ suggested you might also want to look at. Thereby adding herself to the number.
Blaming algorithms is evidently the new excuse for unacceptable interest.

I agree Dickens . Depression and anxiety are truly terrifying. Like you, Blondiescot I was a 'pull yourself together' person too. Even with my own brother I used to get annoyed and say 'For goodness sake sort yourself out'. I had no idea how desperate he was feeling. I know now.

Next we will hear (not on GN I know) the ‘what did she have to be depressed about, good looking woman, lovely home and family, job’ etc etc comments. I’m sure all those here who have suffered have heard those words many times.

Germanshepherdsmum

Next we will hear (not on GN I know) the ‘what did she have to be depressed about, good looking woman, lovely home and family, job’ etc etc comments. I’m sure all those here who have suffered have heard those words many times.

Don't forget "get a grip" - when not everyone has "a grip" emotionally.

Oh yes, I forgot that time-honoured one.

Germanshepherdsmum

You don’t know what issues she had GrammyGrammy. None of us do. We will hear more about her vulnerabilities when evidence is given at the inquest. Drinking too much is not ‘the norm’ during the peri menopause or at any other time, nor is having the police and unspecified welfare officials called to your home because of the way you are behaving.

Why do you say the police are useless? They said all along that they believed she was in the river, as she was. We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

Well said GSM.

Nicola's medical records are not the business of anyone other than her GP and the family.

I think the most appropriate action on this subject is to stop discussing and simply post condolences. All speculation should stop/
In the words of Nicola's family
You are no longer a missing person, you have been found, we can let you rest now
RIP.

Well said Glorianny.

I find your posts extremely judgemental Grammygrammy we know nothing about anything she was suffering and maybe it’s not a bad thing for it to be out there in the open at least it can be recognised that for some people the menopause can be a nightmare
I don’t think the police were useless at all they obviously felt from the start it was suicide and did what they could to find her which in the end proved right

Germanshepherdsmum

You don’t know what issues she had GrammyGrammy. None of us do. We will hear more about her vulnerabilities when evidence is given at the inquest. Drinking too much is not ‘the norm’ during the peri menopause or at any other time, nor is having the police and unspecified welfare officials called to your home because of the way you are behaving.

Why do you say the police are useless? They said all along that they believed she was in the river, as she was. We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

Well that's a breath of fresh air. Thank you GSM.

I do feel that at some point we will have to sort out what can go on the internet, in the same we do about what can be printed. How they will do this is beyond my knowledge though.

I feel very uncomfortable with this thread. It is a public Forum and anyone can access and read it.

Fleurpepper

I feel very uncomfortable with this thread. It is a public Forum and anyone can access and read it.

Totally agree Fleurpepper

Some of the speculation on here and other sites is downright disgusting, I really hope the family are allowed to grieve in private.

This is a mother of two little girls, a partner, a sister and a daughter.

RIP Nicola Bulley 💐

I, too, am horrified by all the comments on the internet, but also by the number of ‘psychics’ who are on TikTok giving their opinions. It seems there is one who alleges it was he who found her body, using his ‘gift’.
( May I say, I seem to have joined TikTok via a link to view something. I have no aspirations to become an ‘influencer’.)

Will not post on this thread again, out of respect for family RIP.

Like a lot of people, initially I wondered why the police were so insistent that Nicola was in the river (although I believe they were careful not to specifically say she had slipped in), but then of course as soon as we learned about the alcoholism and depression, their views made sense.

No doubt there will be a lot of blame aimed at the police for not finding the poor woman sooner, yet experts in the field of recovery from rivers have all said how conditions vary enormously from one day to the next.

I believe especially in places where it’s not free flowing the river mud and weeds can hold a body down jennifer
I think it’s important to talk, not necessarily about Nicola but about how difficult life can be for some women only today I heard of a man poo pooing it and saying he thought women just played on it and its ‘not really that bad’

fleurpepper why do you keep popping up to say you won’t post any more
Just don’t post

I think also that managing young children, and work can be quite pressurised, and looking after yourself might come quite low on the priority list.

I can think of only one unpleasant post on this thread. I believe people have been respectful and they have shown sympathy to those posters whose loved ones have taken their lives. I have received sympathy for simply having depression. People have, collectively, tried to get their heads around what happened. With only one exception that I can think of, no disrespect, but great support for the family, has been shown. Sometimes something is so awful that, even if not directly involved, people want to come together to talk about it. With just one exception that springs to mind, nothing has been said here that is unsuitable for public consumption. We care, and it shows. There is nothing disrespectful in continuing to post so long as we confine ourselves to the facts that the police have made public and the experiences of those here who have had to face such tragedy.

Germanshepherdsmum

I can think of only one unpleasant post on this thread. I believe people have been respectful and they have shown sympathy to those posters whose loved ones have taken their lives. I have received sympathy for simply having depression. People have, collectively, tried to get their heads around what happened. With only one exception that I can think of, no disrespect, but great support for the family, has been shown. Sometimes something is so awful that, even if not directly involved, people want to come together to talk about it. With just one exception that springs to mind, nothing has been said here that is unsuitable for public consumption. We care, and it shows. There is nothing disrespectful in continuing to post so long as we confine ourselves to the facts that the police have made public and the experiences of those here who have had to face such tragedy.

Perhaps I should have separated other sites and GN in my post, for that I apologise.

There has been a lot of support and understanding offered to GN members on this thread, totally agree. Support and the community on here are some of the things I admire about GN.

Personally I feel uncomfortable with the speculation over Nicola’s state of mind, her relationship and whether or not it was a tragic accident or indeed suicide.

Condemning the police is not helpful as I doubt very much if all the relevant facts have been released into the public domain, and rightly so.