Nicola Bulley 45y Old mum of 2 little girls missing from River Wyre area since last Friday morning at 9:15am walking her dog, Willow.

I agree. Such a sad time for Nicola’s family and many posts on here have been sympathetic and thoughtful of this and some have shared personal experience.

After my first baby I realise now I had post natal depression but didn’t recognise it as such until much later. Thought it was a normal part of new motherhood! Likewise around the menopause, started to find work difficult and was off 6 months with depression. Didn’t link it to the menopause. Both times I made a full recovery, but experienced it as a personal failing and weakness. Less stigma and more awareness would have assisted in getting help sooner.

There is now more understanding of hormonal changes impacting women’s mental health and I hope this tragic death will at at least improve support and lessen stigma in the future amongst the public and professionals alike.

I hope so too. Well said.

Hormones can be a females worst enemy unfortunately.

Perhaps I should have separated other sites and GN in my post, for that I apologise

Aw GG13 I did think your comment was harsh!
99% of posts on here have been very respectful haven’t they?

I think it is important to talk too, and I have always found GN to be a supportive and safe place to do so. If anyone can show a comment that has been unkind or sickening on this thread, then it should be highlighted and deleted. I think everyone has been very respectful. I apologise if in one comment I got a bit carried away picturing the scene of the school drop off, (though I don't think that was the one unpleasant comment to which GSM was referring).

It is 40 years since I lost a parent in this way. I was thinking only the other day that if I had read this particular thread at the time I would have found nothing wrong with the perplexed and bewildered comments posters were making, including some guesswork. I also had dealings with the police, various authorities and a coroner at that time and of course, it is only natural that the state of mind of that person involved is analysed, discussed and questioned 100 times over in order to ascertain the reasons and to rule out stuff. Sometimes suggestions and comments are made which are unpalatable, but everything needs to be considered ... though of course 40 years ago there was no social media like today.

A thread such as this is no doubt being allowed to continue because many posters have found something they can relate to, and many are going over the hard times they have encountered in their own lives. We are all of an age where making a meal of such events is surely not the agenda. More a case compassion and self reflection.

Urmstongran

^Perhaps I should have separated other sites and GN in my post, for that I apologise^

Aw GG13 I did think your comment was harsh!
99% of posts on here have been very respectful haven’t they?

Yes they have Urmstongran which is why I apologised.

I find the speculation uncomfortable, can’t help how I feel.

The disgusting comment should have been used regarding other social media sites.

Mistakes happen when posting quickly and not checking one’s text.

No, Joseanne, your comment was certainly not the one to which I referred. You, sadly, have a far greater understanding of all this than most of us here, who are just floundering. 💐

Actually I don't find GG13s comments about her feelings as harsh as the ones which appear to want people to stop posting on this thread.

My message was meant to come across more agreeably GG13. Lost in translation! I totally agree with you.

If this thread has been in any way cathartic for those who've experienced first hand the trauma of suicide because they've felt able to express their feelings on a matter on which they have first-hand knowledge; or if those who've suffered from depression have felt able to unburden themselves - and explain to others the horror of depression... then I think it should be allowed to continue.
Almost every post has been compassionate, written sensitively. The 'speculation' is not prurient, we appear to be - for the most part - women who're banding together in an effort to understand, learn - and most of all empathise with Nicola and her family.
... and we've also been reminded of all the other loved-ones who go missing, regularly, probably something we most of us never really think about.
I think the comments have been sobering.

I think people should be able to discuss any matters such as depression and suicide without referring to Nicola or her family. Anything you say is pure speculation. By all means start a thread about mental health problems but as her family have asked for all speculation to stop, linking any such discussion with her is contrary to their wishes.

Yet you read the posts Glorianny

Anniebach

Yet you read the posts Glorianny

Actually I haven't Anniebach. It's a subject I found distasteful from the thread title. Then listening to the family statement on the news it struck me how many seem unable to do anything but wallow in other's misery.

Dickens. So agree with your comments.

I think people should be able to discuss any matters such as depression and suicide without referring to Nicola or her family.

People can. But because this story has been in the news for several weeks, they have commented in connection with it. This is normal behaviour.

The recent posts have all confirmed what a supportive and compassionate place GN is, for the most part.
I ve welcomed the lists that acknowledge the difficulties both the police and the family faced in the early days. How to describe Nicola as vulnerable without exposing her to more negative speculation.
This terribly sad situation has shone a critical light on social media. Is it too much to hope some form of control follows, ir better, that society reflects on its collective behaviour

Baggs - 👍🏻

Nobody here has wallowed in the misery of others Glorianny. You say you haven’t read the posts. Perhaps you should do so and try to understand. It’s a shame that you find the subject distasteful. Some posters have described their own experience of it, should you care to read what they say.

I'm sorry but using Nicola as an excuse to discuss something you should be able to to talk about without reference to a particular person, someone you do not know. shows two things. Firstly that expressing personal experiences is still taboo and secondly that GN is just another exploitative social media outlet. although one in which older women use professed sympathy to be intrusive.
By all means let's have these discussions, but to do so by utilising someone else's tragedy, no matter how sympathetic you may feel you are being, is just wrong.
Try putting yourself in Nicola's family's shoes. Would you want anyone talking about your loved one?
And I don't propose to post any more. If someone wants to discuss mental health issues I would contribute to such a thread.

How very nasty. Some posters who have experienced these tragedies within their own families have talked about them elsewhere. They haven’t used Nicola’s death as an ‘excuse’ to talk about them again. Their experiences are relevant to what Nicola’s family are suffering. Someone else’s tragedy has not been ‘utilised’, as you claim. People need an outlet to talk about their experiences, and those who have experienced similar tragedies can genuinely empathise with others in a similar situation. What you say is cruel in the extreme and I trust you will adhere to your promise not to post again on this thread.

just another exploitative social media outlet………older women use professed sympathy to be intrusive

I don’t agree. I know some social media outlets may have been as described, but generally I feel posts on GN have been thoughtful and compassionate.

As you haven’t read the thread Gloryannie, it may be wise not to accuse others of contributing to an exploitative social media outlet…..older women use professed sympathy to be intrusive.
I have read the thread and your analysis seems far from reflecting what the vast majority of posters have said.

Glorianny

I'm sorry but using Nicola as an excuse to discuss something you should be able to to talk about without reference to a particular person, someone you do not know. shows two things. Firstly that expressing personal experiences is still taboo and secondly that GN is just another exploitative social media outlet. although one in which older women use professed sympathy to be intrusive.
By all means let's have these discussions, but to do so by utilising someone else's tragedy, no matter how sympathetic you may feel you are being, is just wrong.
Try putting yourself in Nicola's family's shoes. Would you want anyone talking about your loved one?
And I don't propose to post any more. If someone wants to discuss mental health issues I would contribute to such a thread.

I'm sorry but using Nicola as an excuse to discuss something you should be able to to talk about without reference to a particular person...

It is because of Nicola that we are talking about depression, suicide, and the menopause.
If you had read the posts you would see that at least three people have had profound personal experiences with both depression and suicide and the comments have been as much about them as about Nicola.
It is, as others have pointed out, quite normal for people to respond to dramatic and traumatic events by talking about them. It is how you talk about these events and the people involved that matters, not the fact that you are. You think it is wrong, others obviously don't agree with you.
You haven't read the posts. Perhaps you should have done before passing judgment.

I agree Dickens, the posts I read were quite the reverse of that post and just posters/real people recalling their own experiences where their own families have received horrible comments and judgement too following situations such as these

A bit of reverse psychology going on with Glorianny? Rather sad. The vast majority of posts seem compassionate on this thread but I suppose we all interpret things in a different way.