Identifying as a different gender

Smileless2012

well unfortunately I've found on these threads that the most well informed and well stated opinions on this subject are at times regarded as fear mongering.

As has been said time and time again, trans people are accepted the vast majority but what isn't acceptable is the erosion of women's rights. So, the way to retain women's rights is to not enable trans people to infringe them.

Exactly Smileless2012.

Or the source as impartial

VioletSky

Well it's very obvious isn't it it Mollygo

The trans debate and the way it is conducted contains incredible amounts of fear mongering sadly

It’s obvious that the fear arose because of the behaviour of some TIM and the raucous support of those TIM by transactivists and the refusal by some to accept that that behaviour caused the problems.

Cognitive dissonance

Actions do not match words, or should i say, words do not match words

But what would I know, I'm Autistic and clearly, according to some, not able to engage in discussion

VioletSky

*Cognitive dissonance*

Actions do not match words, or should i say, words do not match words

But what would I know, I'm Autistic and clearly, according to some, not able to engage in discussion

That sounds like a get out of jail free card being played .

You can't expect to say things that don't tally up and then claim Autism, or Dyslexia, (or anything else) when you are called on it. Incidentally, I completely understand that Dyslexia makes comprehension difficult at times (my daughter is dyslexic) but the way round that is not to jump in with both feet arguing against yourself and blaming others for scapegoating you. It is to read and re-read until you are sure you have properly understood.

If Autism also makes comprehension difficult, maybe consider whether the two things together might be the problem, not that everyone is picking on you?

A good common sense article Elegran.

I was thinking about household insurance. We don't take it out because we think we will get burgled or our house will burn down, we take it out in case either of these things happens.

Keeping female spaces for females insures that a man with a penis can never enter them. Not because every man who wished to do so is a threat, but because just one could be.

doodledog

It was actually you I explained to that one of my quirks in conversation sometimes means repeating what someone has said to me back to them in my own words to ensure my understanding.

This was to help us communicate better so you wouldn't think I was arguing or teaching you to suck eggs

It's totally uncalled for for you or anyone else to then use that to insinuate an inability for myself to participate in discussion

It actually proves my point about how bias skews information about others

I'm saddened by it but I will continue to try and engage politely

VS If you post your diagnosis so that readers make allowances for it when reading what you say, you really shouldn't take the huff when someone suggests that you yourself make allowances for that diagnosis when reading their posts.

Elegran

I actually am not asking for any allowances, nor do I need any really. You can clearly see I am aware of areas I am different.

You made an assumption that a misunderstanding I had with Dickens (which was already resolved at that point) was due to Autism.

It wasn't.

Is autismsplaining the new mansplaining?

I wear glasses

Itsa bit like you saying "Did you have your glasses on when you read that Violet?" Because I misread a comment

I am aware that I need glasses to read

That's how your comment is actually patronising

You don't have a to understand or apologise but I'd actually appreciate the subject of my having autism (autism does not have me) not be brought up again and I will not either

This is because I do not like the outcome of doing so and I'm used to different circles where I'm just quirky, not incapable of honest participation

Ok, I won't mention it again - but I didn't say you were incapable of anything, I just noticed that you often think people are criticising you when they are just disagreeing with what you said.

It's so frustrating isn't it Mollgo that a small number of TIM backed and supported by trans activists is the cause of these problems, and those who express their concerns are accused of fear mongering.

It wouldn't be an interesting discussion if we all agreed

But this one has so far been better in tone than many past discussions on trans issues where people have been attacked on a personal level for disagreeing as well as having their words or meanings twisted or having thoughts assigned to them that aren't there.

I misunderstood, that's not coming from Autism, that is cominh from a concern in general that everyone should feel welcome in discussion including those who have commented negatively to me today if they took the time to look back

Doodledog

VioletSky
Cognitive dissonance

Actions do not match words, or should i say, words do not match words

But what would I know, I'm Autistic and clearly, according to some, not able to engage in discussion.
That sounds like a get out of jail free card being played grin.

You can't expect to say things that don't tally up and then claim Autism, or Dyslexia, (or anything else) when you are called on it. Incidentally, I completely understand that Dyslexia makes comprehension difficult at times (my daughter is dyslexic) but the way round that is not to jump in with both feet arguing against yourself and blaming others for scapegoating you. It is to read and re-read until you are sure you have properly understood.

If Autism also makes comprehension difficult, maybe consider whether the two things together might be the problem, not that everyone is picking on you?

1 DGD is dyslexic. Two of my DGS have an ASC diagnosis. They have struggled hard in different ways to achieve the successes they have so far achieved.
When things don’t suit, or problems arise, none of them use the “I’m autistic’ or ‘I’m dyslexic’ excuse.

Now we are straying into bullying territory

You know, I hadn't actually told anyone about my diagnosis

I just did so to try and prevent doodledog thinking I was being argumentative

Not the best first experience

Lesson learned

I really don't think it's fair to suggest that Mollygo's bullying you VS.

It makes it very difficult to know how to engage without you taking offence when no offence was intended. It can close down the conversation which unfortunately seems to have happened here.

You introduced your autism into the conversation which some posters have responded too. I'm sorry if it's not been the best first experience but suggestions of bullying aren't very pleasant either.

Mollygo

Doodledog

VioletSky
Cognitive dissonance

Actions do not match words, or should i say, words do not match words

But what would I know, I'm Autistic and clearly, according to some, not able to engage in discussion.
That sounds like a get out of jail free card being played grin.

You can't expect to say things that don't tally up and then claim Autism, or Dyslexia, (or anything else) when you are called on it. Incidentally, I completely understand that Dyslexia makes comprehension difficult at times (my daughter is dyslexic) but the way round that is not to jump in with both feet arguing against yourself and blaming others for scapegoating you. It is to read and re-read until you are sure you have properly understood.

If Autism also makes comprehension difficult, maybe consider whether the two things together might be the problem, not that everyone is picking on you?

1 DGD is dyslexic. Two of my DGS have an ASC diagnosis. They have struggled hard in different ways to achieve the successes they have so far achieved.
When things don’t suit, or problems arise, none of them use the “I’m autistic’ or ‘I’m dyslexic’ excuse.

You need some education on disability rights Mollygo. It isn't an excuse to state a disability it is just setting out the facts. Hidden disabilities need to be owned and identified. People with disabilities are no longer content to sit in the corner and accept that the world has to operate solely to suit those who are not disabled. Saying you are autistic or dyslexic isn't an excuse. It's just saying who you are, like stating your eye colour.

Smileless I revealed one quirk about myself and explained why it existed.

Since then I've had nothing but uninformed assumptions about myself. I've explained how those assumptions are wrong and I've asked they stop but they have continued.

I'm not the only one who has had trouble engaging in trans threads doodledog herself was complaining about problems just before i did. No one has said to doodledog she is wrong about that and if they did and used a fact they knew about her as an excuse to keep her quiet neither she nor anyone else would be OK with that.

That's double standards

I have enough issues with the same people no matter the thread topic and I was stupid to say anything but I don't have the ability to hold onto grudges and animosity and allow people opportunities to get at me. That's stupid on my part but I can't help looking for the good in people and sometimes it isn't there.

Thank you for that glorianny

VioletSky

Now we are straying into bullying territory

You know, I hadn't actually told anyone about my diagnosis

I just did so to try and prevent doodledog thinking I was being argumentative

Not the best first experience

Lesson learned

No, we are not in bullying territory, and I resent that accusation. I tried very hard to explain why I think you might be feeling victimised but you ignored my post. I do think that you paint yourself into corners a lot, and was trying to be helpful, but I shouldn't have bothered.

I don't think your mention of autism was directed at me, as I never said you were incapable of discussion, but it doesn't matter really - it is still not an excuse for not reading and responding to what people are saying, as opposed what you want to argue with. Conditions can explain a lot about people, but they don't excuse them.

Elegran

VS If you post your diagnosis so that readers make allowances for it when reading what you say, you really shouldn't take the huff when someone suggests that you yourself make allowances for that diagnosis when reading their posts.

Thank you. That was really all I was trying to do.

Crack on then, VS. Ignore advice and antagonise people all the time, then get upset because they respond. No skin off my nose, but it seems (to my apparently uninformed eye) to be making a rod for your back.

Violet I recall some time ago you talked about your daughter being diagnosed and wondered whether you’re also on the autistic spectrum. You’ve been fortunate to get a diagnosis in a short space of time as waiting lists seem excessively long
for reasons most of us will agree on

I can’t see any bullying here. Like many others here, I have autistic, dyslexic and adhd children and adults in my family and amongst close friends. It’s part of life. Years ago terms like eccentric, always busy, easily distracted and more could be used. I’ve seen no bullying here

You have just completely changed the narrative of the whole discussion doodledog

You are applying things to yourself I haven't said to you

Its clearly not me who cannot engage well in discussion here

But I didn't say bullying was happening did I?

I said we were moving into that territory because I had asked for any discussion about whether or not I am able to understand and interpret discussion to stop

Has it stopped?

No

Is that OK?

Well Im not too bothered but you are all responsible for your own behaviour

Sorry can I clarify my badly worded list. It’s important to say I remembered you, Violet, wondering whether you like your daughter, is on the autistic spectrum.
I wasn’t the one doing the wondering. Though We have similar experience in that when My grandson was diagnosed at age8, his father realised he is also on the ASD, as was his own father