Will Messrs Reeves and Raynor Still Be Around This Time Next Year?

You’re deliberately misunderstanding me, I don’t know why.

I'm not.

We can make choices but the choices you describe sound calculated and meticulously planned and quite cold.

Life just isn't like that for most people, believe it or not.
Especially the remark about spacing between children.

madalene

The point was Casdon, that the only choice for some people was to stay at home with their children, or to have no children!
Perhaps you think that’s okay, but many didn’t, so opted for the difficult position of staying at home because there was no childcare. Not free childcare like is offered today, none!

I find your response rather callous to be honest.

You’d have to ask my children if I’m callous madelene, I know they would say I’m not though. I’m the product of a clear sighted mother, who had four children herself but who wasn’t prepared to accept that full time motherhood was her destiny, we were brought up to be ambitious and to understand we had choices. I think we were very lucky.

Weren't children whose mothers stayed at home to care for them were lucky too?

Obviously not then.

You’re putting words in my mouth again. We are the product of our parents, and the vast majority of families make their choices work for themselves, don’t they, whatever their circumstances.

I am referring to your own posts.

I don’t know what you mean, sorry. I haven’t said that? What worked for my family, worked for my family and I feel lucky because that suited us. I didn’t comment about anybody else.

What comes across quite clearly is that some women do not plan their lives carefully enough and make poor choices.

Or maybe all women should just own the choices they make. There isn’t a right or wrong, but choices, whether conscious or not, are what determine how we and our families function.

Allira

What comes across quite clearly is that some women do not plan their lives carefully enough and make poor choices.

In what way do they make poor choices?

Casdon

Or maybe all women should just own the choices they make. There isn’t a right or wrong, but choices, whether conscious or not, are what determine how we and our families function.

Exactly, but that doesn’t explain the implied or direct criticisms of peoples choices that keep appearing on here.

Mollygo

Casdon

Or maybe all women should just own the choices they make. There isn’t a right or wrong, but choices, whether conscious or not, are what determine how we and our families function.

Exactly, but that doesn’t explain the implied or direct criticisms of peoples choices that keep appearing on here.

To each their own, and own it as far as I’m concerned.

To each their own, and own it as far as I’m concerned.
There’s a good motto.

Mollygo

*To each their own, and own it as far as I’m concerned.*
There’s a good motto.

Indeed.

However, life is a series of choices and we have to make the best of whatever life throws at us by trying to choose another path forward.

prepared to accept that full time motherhood wasn’t her destiny

What a patronising remark!
Belittling other women who made different decisions, usually out of necessity because there weren’t any nurseries available.

What happened to the sisterhood?

For what it’s worth I taught full time before my first child was born, and taught for a further twenty years after they were all at school.

Maybe some of it also has to do with mindset. Some SAHMs can be equally mentally satisfied without the need for a challenging career. We all measure personal fulfilment differently, which is why it is unfair to pass judgment either way on choices.

What is with this thread. My words were that my mum wasn’t prepared to accept that full time motherhood was her destiny, not what you said?
She was born in the 1920s, it was what was expected of her, and she bucked the system. I wasn’t talking about anything but my own mum’s experience, and I certainly wouldn’t patronise her.
Can you explain why you think saying that is patronising, and who it is patronising to please madelene?

There aren't really choices though are there, these days? Both parents are obliged to work. The bar is set very high in terms of what is expected of people who work. Nobody is remotely interested if a parent is concerned about an ill child. It's all about slogging away.

As I've said before, I think it's all wrong that tiny children are putting in a 50 hour week. They must be exhausted and then behavioural problems are diagnosed.

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

In June 2021, 75.6% of mothers with dependent children were employed, which was the highest level in 20 years.
Ergo 24.4% do not.


In families with one child, more than half (55.1%) of both parents work full-time. In families with three or more children, only about one-third (36.3%) of both parents work full-time.

jasper16

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

Just like working mothers, I suppose their circumstances will all be different.

Some, in lower-paid jobs, would find the cost of childcare, travel etc would outweigh any financial benefit in working.

jasper16

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

How do they cope financially?

I imagine that the parent who goes out to work has a high paying job.

We know lots of our ACs married friends, one of which is high flying with a large salary. They are more than happy for the other one to remain home and take care of the child/ren and all things domestic. It’s not always the female either.

one of which should read some of which

jasper16

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

I don't think how they cope is anyone's business

They cope as GG has said because one has a large salary. The point I was making.