Greg Wallace suspended

That's the sort of tragedy that worries me. Two of my grandsons are close to that age, I just can't imagine the horror.

Was there any sort of explanation about why she did it? My first thought is it is pure evil and then I think what has happened to her in life that she would do that and really what sort of justice is 8 months and I wonder if she even served that. Honestly I just tie myself up in knots.

It is the stuff of nightmares but of course it has to be investigated.

Three different cases, three different men.

Thr guy who committed suicide had been going out with the girl, and they split up amicably after a few months.

Out of the blue, the police came to his door, and he was told she had claimed that he had raped her, after driving her to a quiet place.

They had had consensual sex once since the break up, but again, he was a respectful lad, and had ceased seeing her, as he realised it was going nowhere, and he wanted to settle down and have a child.

What her motivation was, I have no idea.
She had a new boyfriend, from what I remember, so maybe fear of being found out?

His sister said he was shaking like a leaf during the police interview, and he said "I'm seen as being on par with a paedophile to people".

False allegations are terrible, and I agree that they can (and do) ruin lives. But they are very rare. I don't know how to prevent them. If victims were to be prosecuted if the men they accuse are found not guilty it will deter people from coming forward, yet there needs to be some deterrent. I don't know the answer.

What is known, however, is that there are nowhere near as many prosecutions as rapes (and even fewer convictions), and that the number of false allegations is a minute percentage of the offences.

I absolutely agree that it is dreadful beyond words for men who are wrongly accused. I too have a son whose life would be ruined by such an accusation, but I also have a daughter whose life would be ruined by rape, and as that is a far more likely scenario, I wouldn't like to see the law move even further in the direction of protecting the accused and not the accusers.

Has a thread about a mans unpleasant behaviour morphed into how terrible women are.

99% of sex offenders are men.

I’ve always thought him a horrible man. My DH likes to watch Masterchef the Professionals so I can’t avoid it being on. Personally I have never understood what qualifies him to be a judge on this programme as he’s not a chef. However, to be fair, I don’t understand why the women who are complaining about him have taken so long to come forward. Is it a case of jumping on the bandwagon?

It's his wife and 2 adult children I feel sorry for. A man behaves badly and breaks the hearts of his wife and family who have to pick up the pieces. All these men in the public eye - Wayne Rooney, Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, Phillip Schofield, Huw Edwards ......... many many more.

Their families' lives have been turned upside down and will never be the same again.

And what about John Torode, his "professional partner"? He must be worried about his own career now.

Galaxy

Has a thread about a mans unpleasant behaviour morphed into how terrible women are.

It seems so atm. Funny thing that how accusations against a rather nasty male individual can turn into accusations against women.
No wonder women don’t want to come forwards when men and women alike judge them harshly instead.

However, to be fair, I don’t understand why the women who are complaining about him have taken so long to come forward. Is it a case of jumping on the bandwagon?
Not so much that as, it’s easier not to be the first OR it seems more likely you might have complained and nothing was done.
And of course, there is, both for men and women, the fear that you will be the one who is ushered off the programme with subsequent loss of fees and a rumour spreading about you, not the person at fault.

Sadgrandma

I’ve always thought him a horrible man. My DH likes to watch Masterchef the Professionals so I can’t avoid it being on. Personally I have never understood what qualifies him to be a judge on this programme as he’s not a chef. However, to be fair, I don’t understand why the women who are complaining about him have taken so long to come forward. Is it a case of jumping on the bandwagon?

One can understand very young women keeping quiet, but such as big names, I do wonder why they kept quiet, Rod Stewart could have stepped in long before now.
Alison Hammond very much into innuendo on Bake Off, as is Prue Leith, should we ban that programme too.

Rod Stewart wasn’t the victim. It wasn’t up to him to step in.
I dislike innuendo though it can make me laugh in a pantomime. There’s a huge difference between women using innuendo and men groping/sexually harassing women

I think a complaint from a quarter of a century ago is not likely to be made without a lot of thought.

Those who say why don't women come forward sooner probably don't understand how hard it is to report incidents at all.

Maybe it was news of the soap star coming back to the soap (after having been out of the spotlight) that made them come forward? Who knows.

Galaxy

Has a thread about a mans unpleasant behaviour morphed into how terrible women are.

They usually do.

Masterchef has not been ’banned’. The Christmas special will not be aired,

Doodledog

Masterchef has not been ’banned’. The Christmas special will not be aired,

Oops - posted too soon. This is in line with policy, such as when the lead actor in an Agatha Christie film was edited out, and we didn’t see Rolf Harris on our screens after his fall from grace.

The show will be tarnished, so who knows whether it will continue, but it has not been’banned’.

Doodledog

False allegations are terrible, and I agree that they can (and do) ruin lives. But they are very rare. I don't know how to prevent them. If victims were to be prosecuted if the men they accuse are found not guilty it will deter people from coming forward, yet there needs to be some deterrent. I don't know the answer.

What is known, however, is that there are nowhere near as many prosecutions as rapes (and even fewer convictions), and that the number of false allegations is a minute percentage of the offences.

I absolutely agree that it is dreadful beyond words for men who are wrongly accused. I too have a son whose life would be ruined by such an accusation, but I also have a daughter whose life would be ruined by rape, and as that is a far more likely scenario, I wouldn't like to see the law move even further in the direction of protecting the accused and not the accusers.

I obviously wouldn't want my daughter or granddaughters to be raped and I wouldn't want my sons or grandsons to be falsely accused and I wouldn't want them to be guilty of a crime either.

I suppose for me the difference is if a woman is raped I see that as the actions of a bad man, or sometimes more than one. If a man is falsely accused that is due to the actions of a bad woman but the fallout of ruined careers etc is something we do as a society, lots of good people who recoil in horror and to me that makes a difference. In a similar way I can't accept the death sentence as to me that is good people murdering someone.

Galaxy

Has a thread about a mans unpleasant behaviour morphed into how terrible women are.

It isn't about how terrible women are, it is about the danger of the lynch mob who hear about an accusation and the accused is judged and their life ruined before the case is properly investigated.

I absolutely see that the accusations being made public can make other victims come forward but that has to be balanced against the harm to an innocent person who is wrongly accused, which can end up in their death. The difficult question is how you balance that and it seems impossible.

Babs03

Galaxy

Has a thread about a mans unpleasant behaviour morphed into how terrible women are.

It seems so atm. Funny thing that how accusations against a rather nasty male individual can turn into accusations against women.
No wonder women don’t want to come forwards when men and women alike judge them harshly instead.

Wouldn't you judge the woman who falsely accused the young man who committed suicide? I never understand how people can just dismiss that, what if it was their son/brother/husband/friend.

NotSpaghetti

I think a complaint from a quarter of a century ago is not likely to be made without a lot of thought.

Those who say why don't women come forward sooner probably don't understand how hard it is to report incidents at all.

Maybe it was news of the soap star coming back to the soap (after having been out of the spotlight) that made them come forward? Who knows.

I was sexually abused by my family doctor 60 years ago. I've never actually said that to anyone, not my husband, best friend or sister. I have said it on here but I'm anonymous so I felt able to say it on line for the first time maybe 4 or 5 years ago.

Why didn't I say it then, well I was a child, I knew something was wrong but I didn't really know what to say. This was the doctor who cared for my mother when she was expecting me, who cared for me as a baby and who had me blue lighted to hospital when I was ill as a toddler. It is complicated isn't it but he's long dead so it isn't important now. By the time I was an adult he was retired but maybe I was wrong as he might still have had victims who weren't patients. I can't unpick that.

I also think the legal process can be damaging and for some people they can't cope with that and for others they can't cope at the time but in time they can.

Again it is something people shouldn't be judged for but unfortunately judgement happens and I think the age of the internet has made that worse as instead of your local community judging it is millions of people.

Iam64

Rod Stewart wasn’t the victim. It wasn’t up to him to step in.
I dislike innuendo though it can make me laugh in a pantomime. There’s a huge difference between women using innuendo and men groping/sexually harassing women

Actually, if his wife was so upset, it was up to him. My DH did step in to support me when I was upset by something a parent said.
Although anyone who sings a song that says ^If you want my body and you think I'm sexy. . . maybe not. That would be called offensive if GW had said it.
Saying that your career was ruined by GW when actually it might be because you were arrested for assaulting your partner is another strange claim.
He’s been punished, and so has his family. Let it serve as a warning to all those who might use language or actions that are offensive to others.

Surely that's why anything, anything at all to do with inappropriate sexual behaviour needs the fastest, most empathetic systems and responses.

These kinds of things are still rooted in shame, too much to drink.
Should have spoken out.
Must have some way asked for it.

It pees me off that women could respond in that way.

It has to be spoken of, with victims listened to.

theworriedwell

Babs03

Galaxy

Has a thread about a mans unpleasant behaviour morphed into how terrible women are.

It seems so atm. Funny thing that how accusations against a rather nasty male individual can turn into accusations against women.
No wonder women don’t want to come forwards when men and women alike judge them harshly instead.

Wouldn't you judge the woman who falsely accused the young man who committed suicide? I never understand how people can just dismiss that, what if it was their son/brother/husband/friend.

Yes, dismissed very quickly as if that didn't matter.

Mollygo

Iam64

Rod Stewart wasn’t the victim. It wasn’t up to him to step in.
I dislike innuendo though it can make me laugh in a pantomime. There’s a huge difference between women using innuendo and men groping/sexually harassing women

Actually, if his wife was so upset, it was up to him. My DH did step in to support me when I was upset by something a parent said.
Although anyone who sings a song that says ^If you want my body and you think I'm sexy. . . maybe not. That would be called offensive if GW had said it.
Saying that your career was ruined by GW when actually it might be because you were arrested for assaulting your partner is another strange claim.
He’s been punished, and so has his family. Let it serve as a warning to all those who might use language or actions that are offensive to others.

This neatly demonstrates that women will react differently according to their circumstances/personality.

I wouldn't expect or want my husband to speak on my behalf unless I had asked him to do so. In fact I would be quite cross if he did. I have my own mind and I'm quite capable of speaking for myself if I choose to.

For many women, fielding sexual innuendos is annoying but I would just think what a bell end the bloke was and get on with my life, but that's me. I would hazard a guess that Penny Lancaster may act similarly. Some women will act differently.

If it got beyond sexual innuendo then that's entirely different. Lots more things come into the picture - humiliation, embarrassment, loss of job, not being believed ...etc.

A lot of the women who have "come out" about Wallace, are strong, feisty characters. I think once someone has gone public with it, it's a case of a lot of others just backing it up by agreeing he acted inappropriately with them as well.

I don't get the analogy about Rod Stewart's song, It's a song, it's not crudely aimed at one specific woman.