Malapropisms

DD never had accidents, only 'nastidents'.

A couple of favourites from our children:
'Windscreamers' for windscreen wipers.
Grussel's snouts for 'small cabbages'

Annobel, just spotted what I guess is the comment that prompted this thread. It did make me smile.

ga

Here's one of my own. Years ago when the children were young, I was driving from Essex to Wales on a Bank Holiday. My eldest son suddenly asked from the back if it was normal that the battery, which was under his seat, was hot and smelly. We stopped and eventually a breakdown truck came out and towed us to a garage. I rang my friend and anxiously told her that we were going to be very late as the altimeter had broken. There was a smothered snigger and then sympathy from the other end of the phone!

When my dear old Mum had her hip replacement in January she was looking at the menu and decided she'd like to have the "fruit compost".

On the nursing front, when my sister was doing her RN training in the 60s she had a book called "Really Nurse and Wake Up Nurse" full of medical quips and malapropisms. My favourite was "The patient had fruit, jelly, cake and custard for lunch and vomited a trifle in the afternoon".

I noticed yesterday that the BBC news talking about the new memorial for Ted Hughes in poets corner started off saying it was "underneath TS Elliot's memorial" but later changed it to "at the foot of" ....

PoppaRob That did did make me laugh! I love this thread.

5yr old GS informed me the other day that whilst playing football in the playground, his friend was hit by the ball 'right in the peanuts' !:0

Same 5 yr old GS also told me that his Mum had taken him to the youseeum to see the dinosaurs

My 2 year old grandson used to shout 'hello, seesaws' whenever we drove past a field with horses in them.

I think I told this one on another thread: my DS2, around the time of his second birthday, was in hospital being prepared for a big op. As a treat, he insisted on my bringing him 'dalek sausage'. Garlic - gettit?

Granddaughter 3 asked if we could go to Bunnies Underwear House = Bunnings Warehouse.

Oh sweet!! Keep em coming!
I remember my son, when we lived in Lancashire, had, for a couple of years a dear little northern accent. We were mystified one day when he announced that "Craig's mum works in Fer Grannies" (imagine the Lancashire accent if you will)

After a bit of head scratching we realised he meant Ferranti's .

Lots of smiles from me. My son as a toddler, would always ask when was I going to put on my "litspick" and a helicpter was a "doodadit"...also sometimes was "full to the grim"...

When he was small, "hoppystool" was the word my son used for 'hospital'

twizzle

Someone sent me a marketing email for a conference centre. Boast a gym. And a "ten birth jacuzzi". I have heard of water births but that is ridiculous.

All in this together girls?

I was a bit concerned about a postcard that was put up in the kitchen at work, advertising the services of a local driving instructor, who was obviously proud of his car, as it had air conditioning and duel control.

Swords or pistols?

for many years I thought those pretty creatures flying around my garden were flutterbys..........

Well that's what my daddy told me

ninathenana That's what they were originally called.

Local fish dealer who advertises "Seafood, cockles, muscles........"

I remeber reading somewhere about an old lady speking to her friend who was asking about her medical condition. Apparently she felt she as much better now that her doctor was giving her "Those courtesan injections"

Ooh! Can I have one of those please!