I refer back to my previous post about a dwarf who told me in no uncertain terms that he was a dwarf and did not want any pussyfooting around with other silly euphemisms. He was PROUD of being a dwarf and there were no negative feelings about it on his part that had to be taken into consideration. He was more insulted by people trying to find tactful terms for what was his very being, as if that being inherently carried some sort of negative taint.
I would feel the same if someone tried to call me a human female of mature years - I'm a middle aged woman and proud of it!
It really can be insulting to pussyfoot around people as though their very being is something to be careful about.