advert which have opposite meanings t the one one intendeds

I hate the ones that say 'nothing cleans better'. If it's better to use nothing than why buy the product?

It's like the corny old joke about the door to door collection for Barnardo's, I used to threaten the DDs that they'd be donated

This isn't really the right place, but it's not worth starting a new thread.

The trailer for the 'new' 50 Shades of Grey says it has an 'alternate ending'. Is it just me, or is that just...wrong?

That is wrong as far as I remember. Don't you alternate between things? Day alternates with night. I think 50 Shades of Grey should have an alternative ending.

That's what I thought, too...

It's like signs you see near here:
Elderly Crossing - well what's wrong with replacing it?
Grant maintained school- good for him, but who is Grant?
And I totally agree vampirequeen , why on earth would you buy it!
As for x washes whiter.....whiter than what?

Going back to a rather old advertisement, we should go to the chemist and ask for a pack of nothing, as nothing acts faster than Anadin.

Alternate means 'every second thing...'
Alternative means 'another/other'

There has been a blurring of this distinction, largely coming from across the Atlantic.

Whenever I see a roadside sign saying "Heavy plant crossing", I always picture giant Triffids crossing the road!

Oh numberplease understand where you are coming from because in this part of the county we regularly have an event advertised locally as "giant plant sale" - it always makes me think of dinosaurs and triffids!!!

Number, I think the same, and it always makes me smile, so it's a good thing. in my mind, the triffid looks very grumpy.

In the toilet of the Oncology day unit of my local hospital was a warning sign - "Wet Floor". Hmmh - should I? To add to my amusement, the sign had "Urology Dept" scrawled across the bottom.

Also I have trouble with Granaries - homes for Gransnetters perhaps?

Some signs cause me to develop red button syndrome. I never think of leaving a path to walk on grass unless there is a sign that says 'Keep off the grass'. The same goes for walking on the right on stairs. I'm right handed so being at the right hand side to hold the bannister is natural to me but then someone puts up a sign telling me I have to walk on the right hand side and suddenly the left side calls to me.

I know there is a purpose to these instructions but red button syndrome over-rides common sense.

I drive my DCs mad when it comes to stairs in underground stations. Escalators say keep to the right but stairs are the left -why? Unless it's obvious, and there are notices saying so, it's natural for me (being right handed) to stay to the right for both
I guess it's the opposite for those who are left handed?

The Atlantic blurs a lot of things, anno

DH's new passport arrived yesterday. When he opened it, there was a small yellow label on the back page which said "Peel off this label".

No accompanying guidance as to how, Bags?

We 'filed' it alongside the apocryphal well-dented field notice (that you have to walk up to to read) which says "Do not throw stones at this notice".

Ah yes, loopy the Underground escalators. "Dogs must be carried"

What if you don't have a dog?

Slightly off piste, but I two car stickers that really shouldn't have been placed together.

The first said "Yummy Mummy on board", followed by one that said "Think Bike"

I've been somewhat alarmed to see the number of 'Baby Changing' stations in the maternity ward this week. Are there really that many disappointed mums?

I came on to post another one but have laughed so much I've forgotten what it was!

kitty