Could of should of would of

The man who invented the cliffhanger has died. He.........

The man who invented anagrams has died. May he create a penis.

I thought all three expressions should have (haha) used the word 'have' and not the word 'if'

Would have
Could have
Should have

I didn't read all the comments so apologies if this point has already been mentioned

If it hasn't .... It should HAVE been ?

An English Professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked the students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All of the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful.

One expression I dislike is "I am loving --" What is wrong with "I love ----"

Haitch instead of aitch (H) anyone? Grrrr.....

AsarahG, you have just beaten me to it. That haitch is infuriating. Another thing that gets my goat is the roadside sign that announces 'Advanced Warning'.

Can't help it. Got to post the Cockney alphabet. Aitch always reminds me of it!

A for 'orses (hay for horses)
B for mutton (beef or mutton)
C for 'th highlanders (Seaforth Highlanders)
D for 'ential (deferential)
E for Adam (Eve or Adam)
F for 'vescence (effervescence)
G for police (chief of police)
H for respect (age for respect)
I for Novello (Ivor Novello)
J for oranges (Jaffa oranges)
K for 'ancis, (Kay Francis), or K for undressing
L for leather (Hell for leather)
M for 'sis (emphasis)
N for 'adig (in for a dig, or infra dig.)
O for the garden wall (over the garden wall)
P for a penny (pee for a penny)
Q for a song (cue for a song), or Q for billiards (cue for billiards)
R for mo' (half a mo')
S for you (it's for you)
T for two (tea for two)
U for films (UFA films)
V for La France (vive la France)
W for a bob (double you for a bob)
X for breakfast (eggs for breakfast)
Y for Gawd's sake (why, for God's sake)
Z for breezes (zephyr breezes, see West wind)

English is not my first language either, but I have difficulty with the increasing quantity of mistakes in both spoken and written English. I have been known for correcting some of them, sometimes, when I really can't stop myself. Try to do it in as nice a way as possible, however, to soften the effect.
Some errors are common on tv and radio too; has anybody noticed how many people who ought to know better use 'reticent instead of 'reluctant'; the first of course relating to a disinclination to say/speak etc., the second to an unwillingness to do/act etc... I could go on - but I won't! :-)

Really you should listen to yourselves. Bet nearly all Grammer school 'gals' and head girls too.

But that is what Pedants' corner is FOR Sheilasue and you must admit that it does keep all the pedantry in one place. It is not the done thing to pull people up on other threads about their spelling and grammar (or even their grammer) so Pedants can come on here and let it all hang out.

I thought I was the only one who felt like this, especially lose and loose.

Oh come on

I'm getting increasingly annoyed by the omission of the hyphen in words like 'no-one' and 'co-operate'. It makes them more difficult to read and especially more difficult for people who struggle with reading. I worked with struggling readers before I retired and, heaven knows, English is complex enough to learn to read without adding an extra layer of difficulty.

I'm continually wondering what the hell a 'noone' is.

And I agree with every one of the niggles you've all mentioned.

I have just been looking at the discussion on jeans as I want a new pair. This reminded me how much I hate the phrase " on sale", when the writer clearly means "in the sale". Surely clothes are always on sale in a shop but in a sale when reduced? Americanism I imagine...grrr!

You was. We was. More better. Also the use lately on the BBC of saying two decades instead of twenty years. Also why do supermarkets have to,prefix the price of everything with "only".

I too hate some of the mistakes, the worse is using a plural verb for a collective noun - "the government WERE..." , etc. Arrrrrgh!
When DGS says "We was..." I always correct him and suggest that he should learn good grammar, and good table manners, and other courteous things. It is necessary for young wo/men to learn niceties and courteousness, whether it is old fashioned or not.

Lest we forget the correct usage of 'there', 'they're' and 'their'. Some cringe worthy examples would be "there books" instead of "their books" or "their going home" instead of "they're going home", etc. I often wish words could be hung on a key ring like so many house keys so they wouldn't be lost or forgotten!

What gets me going is 'I' instead of 'me', also 'us'. People don't seem to like to say 'me' or 'us'I keep meaning to write a witty poem about it but life keeps getting in the way.
It is so easy if you think what you would say if the other person wasn't in the equation.

"There is a row of birds on the fence." Not: There are a row of birds on the fence."
"There are fewer birds now." Not: There are less birds now."

On broadcasting:I think everything on TV and radio is scripted. The sportsmen previously mentioned can surely read? The posh voiced newsreaders should alter the mistakes as they go - unless they don't know they are wrong.

You are wonderful pedants after my own heart! I don't see why anyone who isn't a pedant should think that we shouldn't unburden ourselves on these threads. It stops us throwing our weight around on other threads, after all.

Less and fewer. Uninterested and disinterested. Loose and lose. Myself. You and I when it should be you and me, and vice versa.

guliigranny, you are right about the difference between "may" and "might". That one makes me fume when it is used about someone who has been killed in an accident, and the report says something like "If the driver had noticed the red light, the girl MAY have survived." No!! She MIGHT have survived, but didn't, and the use of MAY suggests that she could still turn up, doubtless to the amazement of all concerned.

No Indian grandchildren, Grammargran, but Indian nephews & nieces!

I spend many months a year in the USA where two of my sons have lived for several years. I cringe when out of their English public school mouths comes 'can I get' and 'different than'

But they say they have had to adapt otherwise they would often not be understood
So I accept 'when in Rome' etc etc

However, I endeavour to teach the smalls out there to speak like Granny!

The one that is becoming more and more prevalent (and makes me yell every time I hear it) is 'two-time ' used for 'twice' ...! If I hear, "X is a two-time winner of Y" instead of, "X has won Y twice" I want to put my foot through the screen....
Oh, and people who think that alright is a word...!

Could of, would of, etc really gets on my nerves. It's not just the written word, but the term is now being used on soaps etc.
I also hate to hear people saying 'Me and John' instead of 'John and I' if they are the subject of the sentence. I always chuckle to myself when I hear the Queen say, 'My husband and I' but she is grammatically correct. 'Me and Philip' would sound awful coming from our Queen.
Another mistake a lot of people make is to start a sentence with 'myself'. This seems popular at the moment. 'Myself and John went home'. Makes you feel that they have never heard of the word 'I'.
I don't think texting helps the younger generation with their language skills. My daughters always laugh at my texts as they are usually grammar and spelling correct and quite long as a result.

Those of you who have mentioned correcting others' mistakes on Facebook might like the FB group 'Extreme Pedantry'. It's a public group so you can have a look without committing youself to joining. But if you do join, be prepared for any of your own mistakes to be pointed out.