No - I am NOT an Xmas "Pity Project!"

Well you don't sound happy..

If you were happily alone people might not try to cheer you up. But you do sound very miserable and bitter about your circumstances..

Frankly, I'd be very grateful if someone cared enough about me to offer an invitation and wouldn't dream of seeing it as a 'pity invitation' - just sheer kindness.

They must be pretty darned brave in your neighbourhood, as it would certainly spoil my Christmas to have some elderly curmudgeon scowling at me over the turkey.

Maybe your neighbours need you there? Maybe theyre worried that their families will be doing their own thing and they want to buold a new tradition of mixing friends with family so that they dont end up alone?

I'm surprised you get any invitations!

Wasn’t it nice to be asked? Even a little bit ?
I can see how this will go. Nice people trying to win you round, in the hope that at heart there is a chink of compassion in everyone and you will see how curmudgeonly you are and all will be well when you realise how silly you were.
It’s like a film.

Kindness goes along way it`s a rare thing these days.
Would you not invite someone who lived alone to share Christmas day/dinner .
I would and have.

I have been on my own for a number of years now and am happy to spend the day along. However, whilst I wouldn't want to have Christmas lunch with a neighbour I would welcome an invitation for a Christmas Eve or Boxing Day drink (I would settle for a coffee!).

I wish I had neighbours who were so thoughtful.

"along"!!!! I meant alone

Would you want any kind of invitation from next door neighbours who had their Xmas topped off by TWO police patrol cars pulling up outside their front door on Xmas afternoon?

I wondered what the shouting was about....

This will be my 3rd Christmas alone (widowed just before Christmas 2017). No-one has invited me anywhere, and I would love to be invited for coffee and a mince pie. My neighbours are pleasant, but all have their own arrangements - most go to their families. As for being alone at Christmas, I am alone all bloody year!! I keep a brave/happy face on, as I don't want to depress people, but it does hurt. I would dearly love to even host Christmas for lonely people, but I don't have any near me.

That made me laugh BradfordLass. We used to have my mother brought to us on Christmas Day and ‘Old Auntie’ , her sister-in-law, until they each died in their 90s. They were both glad to come but Mother was not happy to share the day with Auntie who I knew well as she lived not very far from me and I would mow her lawns and do some shopping. Auntie was a bit forthright but was as nice as pie on Christmas day and the picture of the old curmudgeon just reminded of Mother’s disapproving look at the dining table. We never knew what her problem was but I sat them as far from each other as I could.

It's pathetic. We have neighbours who send cards and completely blank us for the rest of the year.

You can be kind and include people at other times of the year too you know!!!

I'm with the OP and understand exactly how she feels. I don't live alone but with my OH and we find it almost impossible to convince friends and relations that we don't "do" Christmas!

It is sad and depressing to be alone at any time of year if you do not want to be but for those who are happy with their own company, the forced bonhomie of a typical Christmas can be utterly miserable.

If Margs sounds a little curmudgeonly, it's probably because she's as fed up as I am of saying "thanks but no thanks" every year for decades. Give her a break - Christmas isn't compulsory!

In this day and age, when there are many people alone at Christmas and hating it, I reckon you are very lucky that anyone has been kind enough to invite you - doesn't matter that the police were apparently called at some time unless you know what happened!
Suggest you stick a notice on your front door stating "Please do not disturb 1/12 - 1/1 " and leave it at that!!!

I understand Margs. I am quite happy with my own company, always have been (OH says its because I was an only child ) I think they are just being kind really, we read and hear so much about loneliness these days.

Just reading your other post about all the shouting etc and the police cars - no, you are better in your own home doing what you want to do.

I hope you have a Happy Christmas

That's a little bit unfair. Just say no thank you. And be glad there are people who care.

BAH HUMBUG to you.i am alone most christmas's but i do volunteer at a charity shop. plenty of music .etc. yes i like the real christmas . today its too commercialised.and people out for the biggest and the best.the spirit of christmas is fading fast. but me i like going to church (every week if i can). helping with the children.this year got my daughter and grandchildren coming and my brother .not exactly manic- ing. but living on £79 a week .has left me thinking ..would be ok to ask my relatives for some money to help with the food?

panic ing...

I agree with Margs A lot of people issue these one off invitations to make themselves feel better. It's patronising to assume that because one lives alone one must be
a) lonely
b) depressed
Just not the case for a lot of us. Of course there are those people who are lonely but not everyone.

I think it's nice to be asked. I was widowed nine years ago and visit my sister for Christmas Day which I enjoy.
If I was the 'remaining survivor' of the family I'm not sure what I'd do. I think I'd hope for an invitation and accept gratefully.
However, I understand your wanting to be alone with just yourself to please.

Margs, no mention of the police in your original post.

I understand that you may not want to spend Christmas with strangers. I wouldn’t either but I hope I would appreciate being asked.
Perhaps you could invite them round for coffee or a glass of wine during the year and they could become friends? Maybe not the dodgy ones.
I’m inviting our near neighbours and some people who have recently moved to our village round between Christmas and New Year. I hope about 20 will come. We don’t see much of them throughout the year but it’s good to make an effort now and again.
I hope that they enjoy themselves and the ones that live on their own don’t think I’m being patronising. If I thought any of them would be home alone on Christmas Day I would invite them here. They have the option of declining politely.

Why is this in Pedants' Corner - did I miss something?

We used to invite my miserable, bad tempered, unsociable Dad to Christmas after mum died but after a few years we came to realise that he was quite 'happy' with no decorations and a pot noodle for his Christmas lunch. Now we ignore him. Perhaps your neighbours just need time to come to terms with the fact that you're not interested?

Well yes it's nice to be invited but not if it's phrased as a pity invitation "you must be lonely etc". How would that make you feel?
Much better to say, If you've no plans we would love to have you.

I agree with OP. After my first husband died I had so many invitations to join friend's and their families for Christmas meals etc. I genuinely appreciated all the offers but sitting with other families just brought it home to me how much I missed my own husband and children (both living in other countries). I did make the effort to get out and about that year BUT the Christmas after my Dad died I decided to spend the day alone. I went to visit a close friend on Christmas Eve but spent Christmas day alone (although one family I used to childmind for popped in after church in the morning). It was quite liberating just being on my own and crying when I wanted to!